33 reviews
Ring Of Darkness is about a boy band with a supernatural secret. Apparently, they like to kill and eat their victim's blood. Are they vampires or what? I do not know because the movie never fully explains what they are. I do know that this movie was sub-par in every way to other movies in it's genre.
The band's lead singer finds out their secret, or suddenly has a problem with it- again, not explained. I only know he is going to reveal the secret to the world. The band can't have that and they kill him. They tell the press the pressure got to him and he is now in the hospital. In the meantime, they need a new lead singer so they have tryouts.
"It's all about the voice", says one of the band members, but then each of the contestants lip syncs the entire song. Pretty laughable. Once they get their final 3 contestants, it's off to a secluded mansion where they can make their final pick. The only problem is, they're slowly disappearing.
This movie was pretty bad, even by "B" Movie horror standards. Whoever was in charge of special effects should be banned from the industry forever. There was more horror in the acting than in the actual movie. Particularly by Ryan Starr. She is definitely not gifted in this department. There was a cool little twist at the end, which is what bumped it up to 2 stars for me but other than that, there is little more to this movie. 85 minutes of wasted time. Coltin Scott was probably the best actor in the movie, but seriously, that is not saying much. My recommendation is avoid. If you want some good "B" Movie horror, try Monster Man.
The band's lead singer finds out their secret, or suddenly has a problem with it- again, not explained. I only know he is going to reveal the secret to the world. The band can't have that and they kill him. They tell the press the pressure got to him and he is now in the hospital. In the meantime, they need a new lead singer so they have tryouts.
"It's all about the voice", says one of the band members, but then each of the contestants lip syncs the entire song. Pretty laughable. Once they get their final 3 contestants, it's off to a secluded mansion where they can make their final pick. The only problem is, they're slowly disappearing.
This movie was pretty bad, even by "B" Movie horror standards. Whoever was in charge of special effects should be banned from the industry forever. There was more horror in the acting than in the actual movie. Particularly by Ryan Starr. She is definitely not gifted in this department. There was a cool little twist at the end, which is what bumped it up to 2 stars for me but other than that, there is little more to this movie. 85 minutes of wasted time. Coltin Scott was probably the best actor in the movie, but seriously, that is not saying much. My recommendation is avoid. If you want some good "B" Movie horror, try Monster Man.
- IronHillbilly
- May 23, 2005
- Permalink
A good David Decoteau movie is one of two things. (1) a good-enough B-movie horror, with lots of blood, lots of cheezy acting, etc. (i.e. "Puppet Master 2") OR (2) Hot guys running around in their boxer briefs held together by some plot that could vaguely be described as a horror movie (i.e. "Voodoo Academy").
A great David Decoteau movie is both (i.e. "the Frightening", "the Brotherhood").
"Ring of Darkness" is neither. Not enough blood, not enough horror, way too much bad music (even by boy-band standards), and the guys BARELY take their shirts off. And I haven't even mentioned the STUPID ending, the awful foley mixing, the D-grade acting, etc etc etc.
I waited over a year for this?
A great David Decoteau movie is both (i.e. "the Frightening", "the Brotherhood").
"Ring of Darkness" is neither. Not enough blood, not enough horror, way too much bad music (even by boy-band standards), and the guys BARELY take their shirts off. And I haven't even mentioned the STUPID ending, the awful foley mixing, the D-grade acting, etc etc etc.
I waited over a year for this?
I saw this film on Showtime not expecting much, but I guess I was expecting a little. Well, I got nothing but a dumb, stupid, boring flick we have all seen before. SO, a boy band has been alive for generations and are zombies. oOoOo...scary! No, seriously, this movie is pretty bad. I really did not even enjoy any humor in this one like I usually can. It was just...idiotic. I think the only good part is when this awful guy is singing and he thinks he is a great singer and dancer when...he sucks. This film has a lot of plot holes, glitches, and more. There really is nothing new to add to this film, it is really just a boring sack of poo. Enjoy!
Would like to have a negative scale -10 to vote for this. Yep the Zombies tag got me. Some bad films are so bad they become fun, this isn't! unacceptably irredeemably awful not a single saving grace. Don't watch this movie set fire to your feet or perform a self appendectomy with a blunt spoon; either will be more entertaining than the movie!! Did I mention the god awful and major league irritating 'song' played all the way through this? No, ah well, I was trying to be nice but they started it! If you like music don't watch this film If you think it's a zombie film don't watch this film If you think this is a film go out and have too much to drink and then put the DVD in your toaster. Enjoy
- gordon_glover
- Nov 9, 2006
- Permalink
Ring of Darkness begins with a young man sneaking through a large home at night. He escapes through a window and we see him run down to a rocky beach. Four other young men confront him and we realize that he knows them. He's the singer of their band. He threatens to expose them but they won't allow it. They attack him instead. They seem to be biting him. Soon after, we learn that they're "Take 10", a boy band in the vein of *NSync and Backstreet Boys. They search for a new lead singer through an "American Idol" (2002)-styled audition process. When three candidates are chosen, they're taken to the home we saw in the beginning of the film for the final leg of their audition. Just what was the band's secret, and will the new candidates accept it?
This is the first 5 out of 10 I've seen in a while, which is a shame, because 5 out of 10 is my rating for "So bad it's good". On most technical and artistic levels, Ring of Darkness is a disaster. But it's enough of a disaster that it's a lot of fun to watch, for all the "wrong" reasons. I laughed more hysterically during some scenes than I do for all but the rarest comedies.
Near the beginning of the film, director David DeCoteau "treats" us to a complete music video of our faux boy band. The music couldn't be cheesier. To amp up the torture, we have to hear this same song over and over for at least the first half hour of the film. Later on the same footage is constantly intercut into other scenes. It is also used with different music (which is better), edited in a way that is supposed to suggest additional Take 10 videos. Padding is a big theme throughout the film. The music video isn't the only footage reused.
There are also chase scenes that go on for what seem to be hours, until there's not one shred of suspense left. DeCoteau and editor Danny Draven, two Full Moon alumni (which might be bad news in itself to many, but I actually like quite a few Full Moon films; at least they're far better than Ring of Darkness), cut the chase scenes with "fancy" changes in the film speed. The final result just looks ridiculous and feels like more padding.
The funniest aspect for me was the acting, and the worst offender was Ryan Starr (as Stacy), who comes to the film world by way of her stint as a contestant on "American Idol". Starr has a chronic case of marble mouth. On top of it, she says her lines far too quickly and she emotes as well as a brick wall. Why would DeCoteau just let such a shoddy performance pass? Maybe he didn't, but he couldn't get any improvement. That may be why Starr, whose picture is prominently in the center of the poster and video box art, is strangely absent for long periods of time. Not that most of the other actors are any better. Even a veteran like Adrienne Barbeau comes across poorly in the film. Surprisingly, there was one good performance--Coltin Scott (aka Stephen Scott Martines), as boy band candidate Shawn, was quite entertaining. He should get himself to a better film. Quick.
For a film that's ostensibly a horror flick, there is very little horror here. The "attack scenes", as few and far between as they are, are all shown with wide shots. They are completely bloodless. For scenes in Take 10's "secret lair", victims are bound and "slashed", except it's the worst knife wound effect I've ever seen. It couldn't be clearer that there is just some oddly colored fluid coming out of the knife, with absolutely no perforation of flesh. The make-up, which is important later in the film to establish the true nature of Take 10, looks worse than what an eight your old could do with your typical dime store Halloween kit.
It's difficult to know exactly whom the film is supposed to appeal to. My guess is that young teenaged girls and gay men would like it the most, as DeCoteau, who is an openly gay director and is well known for his homoerotic genre films, fills Ring of Darkness with men in various states of undress, posing for the cameras. As another reviewer noted, there are strong subtexts based on the inherent gayness of boy bands. The threatened exposure in the beginning can be seen as a threatened "outing" of sexual orientation. Take 10's bonding rituals have strong homoerotic overtones, as does the bondage and fluid ingestion that takes place in their secret lair. The name of the film can be seen as a double entendre (although it's just as likely to be intended to cash in on the success of the Ring films as well as the Spanish horror film from 2002 known as Darkness), similar to Andy Dick's song "Little Brown Ring", or indeed even "Backstreet Boys". This might all be very interesting if only the film weren't such an artistic toxic waste dump.
But again for its unintentional properties, Ring of Darkness is extremely funny. I actually had to pause the film a number of times because I was laughing so hard. I had tears streaming from my eyes. After a while, whenever Starr would appear, I would lose it.
I feel bad having to "bash" this film. From what I know about DeCoteau, he sounds like a great guy who goes out of his way to give breaks to aspiring filmmakers. I'm also a Fangoria fanatic. Scriptwriter Michael Gingold has long been Managing Editor of Fangoria. But I also have to give my honest opinion as a critic--this film sucks. It's only worth seeing for free, and only if you are the type to create your own "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (1988)-styled commentary.
This is the first 5 out of 10 I've seen in a while, which is a shame, because 5 out of 10 is my rating for "So bad it's good". On most technical and artistic levels, Ring of Darkness is a disaster. But it's enough of a disaster that it's a lot of fun to watch, for all the "wrong" reasons. I laughed more hysterically during some scenes than I do for all but the rarest comedies.
Near the beginning of the film, director David DeCoteau "treats" us to a complete music video of our faux boy band. The music couldn't be cheesier. To amp up the torture, we have to hear this same song over and over for at least the first half hour of the film. Later on the same footage is constantly intercut into other scenes. It is also used with different music (which is better), edited in a way that is supposed to suggest additional Take 10 videos. Padding is a big theme throughout the film. The music video isn't the only footage reused.
There are also chase scenes that go on for what seem to be hours, until there's not one shred of suspense left. DeCoteau and editor Danny Draven, two Full Moon alumni (which might be bad news in itself to many, but I actually like quite a few Full Moon films; at least they're far better than Ring of Darkness), cut the chase scenes with "fancy" changes in the film speed. The final result just looks ridiculous and feels like more padding.
The funniest aspect for me was the acting, and the worst offender was Ryan Starr (as Stacy), who comes to the film world by way of her stint as a contestant on "American Idol". Starr has a chronic case of marble mouth. On top of it, she says her lines far too quickly and she emotes as well as a brick wall. Why would DeCoteau just let such a shoddy performance pass? Maybe he didn't, but he couldn't get any improvement. That may be why Starr, whose picture is prominently in the center of the poster and video box art, is strangely absent for long periods of time. Not that most of the other actors are any better. Even a veteran like Adrienne Barbeau comes across poorly in the film. Surprisingly, there was one good performance--Coltin Scott (aka Stephen Scott Martines), as boy band candidate Shawn, was quite entertaining. He should get himself to a better film. Quick.
For a film that's ostensibly a horror flick, there is very little horror here. The "attack scenes", as few and far between as they are, are all shown with wide shots. They are completely bloodless. For scenes in Take 10's "secret lair", victims are bound and "slashed", except it's the worst knife wound effect I've ever seen. It couldn't be clearer that there is just some oddly colored fluid coming out of the knife, with absolutely no perforation of flesh. The make-up, which is important later in the film to establish the true nature of Take 10, looks worse than what an eight your old could do with your typical dime store Halloween kit.
It's difficult to know exactly whom the film is supposed to appeal to. My guess is that young teenaged girls and gay men would like it the most, as DeCoteau, who is an openly gay director and is well known for his homoerotic genre films, fills Ring of Darkness with men in various states of undress, posing for the cameras. As another reviewer noted, there are strong subtexts based on the inherent gayness of boy bands. The threatened exposure in the beginning can be seen as a threatened "outing" of sexual orientation. Take 10's bonding rituals have strong homoerotic overtones, as does the bondage and fluid ingestion that takes place in their secret lair. The name of the film can be seen as a double entendre (although it's just as likely to be intended to cash in on the success of the Ring films as well as the Spanish horror film from 2002 known as Darkness), similar to Andy Dick's song "Little Brown Ring", or indeed even "Backstreet Boys". This might all be very interesting if only the film weren't such an artistic toxic waste dump.
But again for its unintentional properties, Ring of Darkness is extremely funny. I actually had to pause the film a number of times because I was laughing so hard. I had tears streaming from my eyes. After a while, whenever Starr would appear, I would lose it.
I feel bad having to "bash" this film. From what I know about DeCoteau, he sounds like a great guy who goes out of his way to give breaks to aspiring filmmakers. I'm also a Fangoria fanatic. Scriptwriter Michael Gingold has long been Managing Editor of Fangoria. But I also have to give my honest opinion as a critic--this film sucks. It's only worth seeing for free, and only if you are the type to create your own "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (1988)-styled commentary.
- BrandtSponseller
- Mar 31, 2005
- Permalink
For all the talk about Brokeback Mountain being so "daring" due to it's homosexual content, this movie definitely kicks its ass as far as being flamingly homosexual. Even the heterosexual people are gay. Even the "scary" zombie scenes have the same boy band music playing, and they pose while killing people. Calling it a "zombie" movie is like calling "Pay It Forward" a knife-fighting movie. This essentially is just a lot of very defined cheekbones from different angles. Zombie cheekbones. This is the movie they make old music teachers watch in HELL. Key scenes to look for are the "bad contestant getting eaten," which is a guy getting hugged to death in a parking lot, and "guy following band through the fog," which is a guy following the band through some fog. Lots of fog. Like the budget for stuff like, writers and everything required to make it a real movie was spent on fog. LOTS of fog. And cheekbones. This movie sucks more than Haley Joel Osment does at knife-fighting.
Yep, almost all the boys hate the Backstreet Boys, so did a man direct this movie? This movie was a drag and cheaply made. I got bored to tears, and I didn't even know why I was watching it. I could change to another channel, but I just stood there like a mindless zombie. Why couldn't I just change the dang channel and not wait till the end? It would have saved my life! Well, I hate this movie. Zombies as horrible singers? Plus, some of the auditioned people who made it sang the same, so that was cheap. Horrible lyrics, dreadful singing, can I take anymore of that? This movie was bad.
Don't watch it. You'll die from boredness and stupidness of the movie.
Don't watch it. You'll die from boredness and stupidness of the movie.
(Spoilers) Redicules and bumbling film that wouldn't even be good, or bad, enough to make the famous Bad Movie TV show "Mystery Sicence Theater 3000". The movie is about this rock group the Take Ten, even though there's only five members in it, who's suddenly out it's lead singer Gordo, Greg Chipes, and is desperately looking for a replacement.
You see Gordo found out who the members of the group really are and tried to make a run for it from the groups island, Compus, where they were all staying at. Captured on the beach Gordo tells the group members that he's going to spill the beans on them, to the National Enquire. Only to get spilled into the ocean by them never to be seen again.
Coming up with this cock & bull story that Gordo was a drug addict and was sent by the group to some secret rehabilitation clinic they through their manager Alex, Adrienne Barbeau, conduct a nation wide search for Gordo's replacement. Narrowing the competition for Gordo's job down to three lucky guys Max Jonah & Shawn, Eric Dearborn Jeff Paterson & Coltin Scott,their flown to Compus for what would be a battle for the lead singers contest to see who's the one to finally replace Gordo.
At the island strange things begin to happen in that Jonah turns out to be an undercover reporter working for a supermarket tabloid magazine, The National Enquire?. He's soon discovered by the group members only to be iced and never seen or heard from again. Max who would give his right arm to make the group "Take Ten" ends up giving up a lot more, his life. When they feel he's not cut out to be with them and do a little bit of cutting up of Max on their own.
Shawn who's at the island with his girlfriend Stacy, Ryan Starr, isn't really interested in becoming a group member, It's all Stacy's idea. He tries to leave the island only to be captured by the Take Ten and their manager Alex, who seems to have the hots for him,and. He's then put through this really weird ritual at a secret cave by the beach where Shawn as well as all the group members, striped down to his boxer shorts as the group preforms some kind of Satanic rites or ceremony on him. Shawn is at last rescued by his girlfriend Stacy who comes to his aid with a cross-bow. Later Shawn unties himself and takes what looks like a bunch of voodoo dolls and throws them into the fire, that the group set for their ceremony, causing them as well as the group members to burn to a crisp.
The movie tries to give us a surprise ending which is about as effective as the rest of the story that preceded it: it's totally unbelievable. Were given this BS story about the group being around since the mid 1950's changing their name every five years or so. The rock & Roll group kept hitting the top Billboard Charts with hit after hit for the last fifty years starting with the 1954 Rock & Roll band Bobby Coolly and the Sea Sharks.
As for the Busty Adrienne Barbeau who played Alex, the Take Ten's manager, looked like she was either out in the sun too long or went the distance in the boxing ring with "Iron Mike" Tyson.
You see Gordo found out who the members of the group really are and tried to make a run for it from the groups island, Compus, where they were all staying at. Captured on the beach Gordo tells the group members that he's going to spill the beans on them, to the National Enquire. Only to get spilled into the ocean by them never to be seen again.
Coming up with this cock & bull story that Gordo was a drug addict and was sent by the group to some secret rehabilitation clinic they through their manager Alex, Adrienne Barbeau, conduct a nation wide search for Gordo's replacement. Narrowing the competition for Gordo's job down to three lucky guys Max Jonah & Shawn, Eric Dearborn Jeff Paterson & Coltin Scott,their flown to Compus for what would be a battle for the lead singers contest to see who's the one to finally replace Gordo.
At the island strange things begin to happen in that Jonah turns out to be an undercover reporter working for a supermarket tabloid magazine, The National Enquire?. He's soon discovered by the group members only to be iced and never seen or heard from again. Max who would give his right arm to make the group "Take Ten" ends up giving up a lot more, his life. When they feel he's not cut out to be with them and do a little bit of cutting up of Max on their own.
Shawn who's at the island with his girlfriend Stacy, Ryan Starr, isn't really interested in becoming a group member, It's all Stacy's idea. He tries to leave the island only to be captured by the Take Ten and their manager Alex, who seems to have the hots for him,and. He's then put through this really weird ritual at a secret cave by the beach where Shawn as well as all the group members, striped down to his boxer shorts as the group preforms some kind of Satanic rites or ceremony on him. Shawn is at last rescued by his girlfriend Stacy who comes to his aid with a cross-bow. Later Shawn unties himself and takes what looks like a bunch of voodoo dolls and throws them into the fire, that the group set for their ceremony, causing them as well as the group members to burn to a crisp.
The movie tries to give us a surprise ending which is about as effective as the rest of the story that preceded it: it's totally unbelievable. Were given this BS story about the group being around since the mid 1950's changing their name every five years or so. The rock & Roll group kept hitting the top Billboard Charts with hit after hit for the last fifty years starting with the 1954 Rock & Roll band Bobby Coolly and the Sea Sharks.
As for the Busty Adrienne Barbeau who played Alex, the Take Ten's manager, looked like she was either out in the sun too long or went the distance in the boxing ring with "Iron Mike" Tyson.
"When the lead singer of a band mysteriously disappears, a nationwide talent search is held to replace him. Ryan Starr ("American Idol") is Stacy, the devoted girlfriend to Shawn (Stephen Martines, 'General Hospital'), a talented young musician waiting for his big break. Once Shawn makes it to the top three, they are all flown to an exotic island, but it soon becomes clear that something is wrong as the finalists begin to disappear. Will Stacy and Shawn become intertwined in a ring of deception and death or will they be able to uncover the truth and escape?" asks the DVD case.
The group "Take 10" - Greg Cipes (as Gordo McSteel), Jeremy Jackson (as Xavier Doorsberg), Matthew Thomas Baker (as Jake Slater), Colin Bain (as B.J. Banyon), and John Wynn (as Kyle West) - definitely captures that "boy band" look. "Idol" wannabes Martines, Eric Dearborn, and Jeff Peterson are of a rougher cut, but all eight would answer "YES!" to the question, "Do you work out?" Adrienne Barbeau (as Alex Marshall) can still titillate, and Ms. Starr has a nice swing in her backyard - but, mainly, this is a film to watch if you're into eyeing slim-waisted young men.
**** Ring of Darkness (2/28/04) David DeCoteau ~ Stephen Martines, Jeremy Jackson, Adrienne Barbeau, Ryan Starr
The group "Take 10" - Greg Cipes (as Gordo McSteel), Jeremy Jackson (as Xavier Doorsberg), Matthew Thomas Baker (as Jake Slater), Colin Bain (as B.J. Banyon), and John Wynn (as Kyle West) - definitely captures that "boy band" look. "Idol" wannabes Martines, Eric Dearborn, and Jeff Peterson are of a rougher cut, but all eight would answer "YES!" to the question, "Do you work out?" Adrienne Barbeau (as Alex Marshall) can still titillate, and Ms. Starr has a nice swing in her backyard - but, mainly, this is a film to watch if you're into eyeing slim-waisted young men.
**** Ring of Darkness (2/28/04) David DeCoteau ~ Stephen Martines, Jeremy Jackson, Adrienne Barbeau, Ryan Starr
- wes-connors
- Oct 11, 2009
- Permalink
So bad it's goood! (And I'm a straight hetero female!) You gotta believe... 1) A potential boy band member is a budding astrophysicist and Yale student. 2) Another boy-band candidate is an investigative journalist. 3) A cheap, child sized guitar is "A vintage Fender".
All of the above good for lots of laughs. Likewise, the too precious, over-done hairdos and carefully distressed t-shirts.
The plot was sort of plausible and the screen-play had some bite, a few very funny side comments. Blonde bimbo was funny!
I've covered the good-bad. Now the bad-bad.
Ryan Starr. So unappealing on American Idol because she seemed to think she was soo hot. She is absolutely ineffective on screen. Clamp your hand over your mouth and nose, and try to talk in a high pitched screech. That will give you an idea of her speaking voice. ANY third rate starlet would have been better, and would have made the film acceptable, rather than a guilty pleasure.
Stage for the audition looked crappy. Signage too. Couldn't they have ironed the tablecloth?
Very good use of the few locations. Great boy-band parody. Eric Dearborn as Max, and Jeff Peterson as Jonah came off quite well. Loved Joshua Jackson's snarky, faux sincere performance too!
Well directed. Even tho' it was dopey, the film moved fast. Except when Ryan Starr dragged it down.
All of the above good for lots of laughs. Likewise, the too precious, over-done hairdos and carefully distressed t-shirts.
The plot was sort of plausible and the screen-play had some bite, a few very funny side comments. Blonde bimbo was funny!
I've covered the good-bad. Now the bad-bad.
Ryan Starr. So unappealing on American Idol because she seemed to think she was soo hot. She is absolutely ineffective on screen. Clamp your hand over your mouth and nose, and try to talk in a high pitched screech. That will give you an idea of her speaking voice. ANY third rate starlet would have been better, and would have made the film acceptable, rather than a guilty pleasure.
Stage for the audition looked crappy. Signage too. Couldn't they have ironed the tablecloth?
Very good use of the few locations. Great boy-band parody. Eric Dearborn as Max, and Jeff Peterson as Jonah came off quite well. Loved Joshua Jackson's snarky, faux sincere performance too!
Well directed. Even tho' it was dopey, the film moved fast. Except when Ryan Starr dragged it down.
- aminthepm2001
- Sep 7, 2005
- Permalink
I watched a total of 45 minutes of this movie before I gave up and turned it off. This movie of course was made to bring in the female and a select group of male people. Just the group alone on the stage groping themselves and I don't know how many times I saw one of the guys lift up their shirts to show everyone that they all had six pack tummy's. After the 10th time one of the guys did that - that was enough for me.
And then the audition to replace the gone lead singer. All of the guys auditioning - sounded the same. They all didn't do anything different in the dancing department - with the exception of pointing of the fingers to the audience and of course - lifting up their shirts to show off their six pack.
It's on cable - maybe I will watch the rest of the movie sometime this month - but if I don't - trust me - I won't miss it.
The only good thing about this movie was maybe - John Wynne. Cute Guy.
And then the audition to replace the gone lead singer. All of the guys auditioning - sounded the same. They all didn't do anything different in the dancing department - with the exception of pointing of the fingers to the audience and of course - lifting up their shirts to show off their six pack.
It's on cable - maybe I will watch the rest of the movie sometime this month - but if I don't - trust me - I won't miss it.
The only good thing about this movie was maybe - John Wynne. Cute Guy.
Hot Guys!!! Hot Scenes!! Hot Guys!! Good Story!! Hot Guys!! Good Acting!! Hot Guys!! I F'ing Loved This Movie!! Hot Guys!!! Hot Scenes!! Hot Guys!! Good Story!! Hot Guys!! Good Acting!! Hot Guys!! I F'ing Loved This Movie!! Hot Guys!!! Hot Scenes!! Hot Guys!! Good Story!! Hot Guys!! Good Acting!! Hot Guys!! I F'ing Loved This Movie!! Hot Guys!!! Hot Scenes!! Hot Guys!! Good Story!! Hot Guys!! Good Acting!! Hot Guys!! I F'ing Loved This Movie!! Hot Guys!!! Hot Scenes!! Hot Guys!! Good Story!! Hot Guys!! Good Acting!! Hot Guys!! I F'ing Loved This Movie!! Hot Guys!!! Hot Scenes!! Hot Guys!! Good Story!! Hot Guys!! Good Acting!! Hot Guys!! I F'ing Loved This Movie!!
- strandedxdethgrl
- Dec 1, 2005
- Permalink
The lead singer of a boy band is killed by his band members because he wants to reveal their "secret". They cover up the killing and audition for a new lead singer. Their ultimate pick is Shawn Walker (Coltin Scott)...but he doesn't want it and finds out their secret...
OK--this isn't a good movie. Like other DeCoteau movies it has a bad script. The opening number clued me in that I was in trouble--the song sucks and there's some hysterically bad "dancing". Also these guys make other boy bands (like N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys)look like they have talent! Also the auditions are painful to watch--Scott gives the WORST one--but they pick him! The acting is (with one exception) dreadful. When Adrienne Barbeau gives the best performance you KNOW something is wrong! Ryan Starr (as Walkers girlfriend) is easily the worst offender. The film (even at 80 min) has endless padding full of bad songs, shots of the ocean and pointless dream sequences.
Still I'm giving this a 7. Why? Cause I'm a gay guy and this film is full of strong homoerotic images--the guys are good-looking and have nice bodies. DeCoteau is a gay man and he makes these films to appeal to a gay audience--nothing wrong with that! He also does throw in a few untalented, big-breasted women to assure us that these guys are straight--but it's always clear who this film was made for. The best looking guys are Jeff Peterson (who plays Jonah and actually gives a good performance) and Scott--and Scott definitely has the best body--the sequence with him running around in black shorts shows this! So this is a pretty bad film but most gay guys will be pleasantly entertained by the images.
OK--this isn't a good movie. Like other DeCoteau movies it has a bad script. The opening number clued me in that I was in trouble--the song sucks and there's some hysterically bad "dancing". Also these guys make other boy bands (like N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys)look like they have talent! Also the auditions are painful to watch--Scott gives the WORST one--but they pick him! The acting is (with one exception) dreadful. When Adrienne Barbeau gives the best performance you KNOW something is wrong! Ryan Starr (as Walkers girlfriend) is easily the worst offender. The film (even at 80 min) has endless padding full of bad songs, shots of the ocean and pointless dream sequences.
Still I'm giving this a 7. Why? Cause I'm a gay guy and this film is full of strong homoerotic images--the guys are good-looking and have nice bodies. DeCoteau is a gay man and he makes these films to appeal to a gay audience--nothing wrong with that! He also does throw in a few untalented, big-breasted women to assure us that these guys are straight--but it's always clear who this film was made for. The best looking guys are Jeff Peterson (who plays Jonah and actually gives a good performance) and Scott--and Scott definitely has the best body--the sequence with him running around in black shorts shows this! So this is a pretty bad film but most gay guys will be pleasantly entertained by the images.
Anyone who has seen Voodoo Academy, The Brotherhood (I, II, III) and Leeches know by now what to expect... all others need not apply. Either you are along for the silly, campy ride or you're not: cute guys in a homo-erotic thriller setting. Nothing more, nothing less. Still not as good as Voodoo Academy or The Brotherhood II (or even Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama when David was doing more str8 T&A) but grab some popcorn, check your IQ and have a good time. (Plus, Adrienne Barbeau is worth watching in anything. And what is the kid from Baywatch doing now? Check out Ring Of Darkness ((awful, awful title)) and find out.
my not so straight roommate put this movie on tonight... if you plan on watching it... 2 words... Jim Beam yes it really is that bad.
i never felt more gay in my life..
my roommates girlfriend commented "it makes me feel gay watching this" wow...
what a horrible movie i would recommend the great movie Phantoms over this one and thats saying a lot.
Plot Summary: When a boy bands lead singer mysteriously diappears the media says that he ran away because he could not handle the fame... (more) (view trailer) User Comments: Another homoerotic horror film from David DeCoteau (more)
i never felt more gay in my life..
my roommates girlfriend commented "it makes me feel gay watching this" wow...
what a horrible movie i would recommend the great movie Phantoms over this one and thats saying a lot.
Plot Summary: When a boy bands lead singer mysteriously diappears the media says that he ran away because he could not handle the fame... (more) (view trailer) User Comments: Another homoerotic horror film from David DeCoteau (more)
- surfing_in_hawaii
- Sep 3, 2006
- Permalink
The lead singer of the nation's hottest boyband drops out under mysterious circumstances and auditions are held to replace him. Shawn, an aspiring "rocker" is roped into trying out by his girlfriend (played atrociously by American Idol reject Ryan Starr) who thinks it could be his big break. Poor Shawn isn't like these guys, although it is hard to tell that by looking at him. In case you forget which one is the "rocker," Shawn is the one with the (empty?) guitar case and the skin-tight Metallica shirt. Anyway, soon Shawn and the Idol reject realize that this is a DeCouteau film, which means that the boyband is really a front for supernatural shenanigans in boxer-briefs. Ring of Darkness is not as homoerotic as most have claimed, and it has higher production values than most other movies I've seen of his. The plot is actually sort of amusing and has some neat little twists, and the acting isn't bad (there are supporting roles by B-movie faves Adrienne Barbeau and Mink Stole), with the exception of the horrendous Idol reject. The boyband members are extremely annoying, and their one song and music video are interspersed throughout the film as filler, which makes viewing nearly unbearable. Moral of the Story: Don't join a boyband, because they'll just smother you in goo while wearing boxer-briefs. Hey, wait...
- ThrownMuse
- Nov 15, 2005
- Permalink
- Woodyanders
- Apr 5, 2010
- Permalink
- single_in_inna
- Mar 24, 2005
- Permalink
- slayrrr666
- Sep 16, 2007
- Permalink
I saw the last 45 minutes or so of this. Where the hell was the gore? The 'zombies' look like robots underneath, not zombies, and when they were supposedly scratched to show their zombie skin underneath, its really really stupid - those sratches are obviously waaaaay to uniform. I can't stand homo-erotcism in horror movies! Not that there's anything wrong with that, if thats your thing go for it, but man, it really pushed this movie over the edge, I never ever need to see anything like that again. Although, maybe this film is really just a stunning expose on real boy bands, and its trying to tell us something, that actually makes sense.
- Horrorible_Horror_Films
- Dec 19, 2005
- Permalink