22 reviews
I love watching you hit "balls"
**SPOILERS** Jogging through the streets of NYC well-known motivational speaker and former womens PGA golf champion Louise "Lou" Dalamere,Ally Sheedy, gets attacked by this masked weirdo with a stick-ball bat who almost kills her. After recovering from her injuries Lou and her live-in girlfriend Alex, Patsy Kensit, take a ride out to her country house in far out Shealter Island.
It just happens to be that at the time that Lou & Alex got to the house a major storm hit the island and knocked out all the electricity and telephone lines leaving the two women alone and cut off from the outside world. Just then Lenny, Stephen Baldwin, the local clam digger gets swept up out of the ocean and dropped right into Lou's home.
Agreeing to let Lenny stay over until the storm blows over Lou & Alex soon realize that he's anything but grateful to them for practically saving his life. Lenny imposes himself on the two women with his off-color remarks about their lesbian relationship and makes a total jerk of himself by also trying to hit on to Alex right in front of her startled lover Lou! Thus doing his best to out stay his very brief and unwanted welcome at the Dalamere house.
It's obvious from the start that Lenny was anything but a stranded clam digger or even an Shealter Island resident but was part of some off-the-wall scheme to do in Lou and take off with her money making it look like her death was a drowning accident. It's also obvious that Lenny was the guy who attacked Lou earlier in the film in New York City that left her almost dead and that this time, in secluded Shealter Island, he was going to finish the job that he started back there. What we don't know about Lenny is that he's anything but alone in his attempt to murder Lou and has a lot more help in doing it then we, the audience, and Lou may think.
Stephen Baldwin together with Ally Sheedy and Patsy Kensit are about as odd a trio as you would ever see in a motion picture. In most of their scenes together they came across so absurd that you at first thought that the scenes were badly done out-takes that for some reason or mistake, or maybe even practical joke, ended up getting edited back back into the movie.
There was also the local Shealter Island Sheriff Deluca, Chris Penn, who also got into the act later in the movie that's after you forgot all about him and thought that his brainless actions earlier were just comic relief. Sheriff Deluca is also one of the major players in the plot to do in poor Lou.The ending of the movie was about as anti-climatic as you could make it with the only major actor in the film who, up to then, had nothing to do with the plot to murder and legally steal Lou's money ending up being the "mastermind" of this whole crazy and unbelievable scenario.
It just happens to be that at the time that Lou & Alex got to the house a major storm hit the island and knocked out all the electricity and telephone lines leaving the two women alone and cut off from the outside world. Just then Lenny, Stephen Baldwin, the local clam digger gets swept up out of the ocean and dropped right into Lou's home.
Agreeing to let Lenny stay over until the storm blows over Lou & Alex soon realize that he's anything but grateful to them for practically saving his life. Lenny imposes himself on the two women with his off-color remarks about their lesbian relationship and makes a total jerk of himself by also trying to hit on to Alex right in front of her startled lover Lou! Thus doing his best to out stay his very brief and unwanted welcome at the Dalamere house.
It's obvious from the start that Lenny was anything but a stranded clam digger or even an Shealter Island resident but was part of some off-the-wall scheme to do in Lou and take off with her money making it look like her death was a drowning accident. It's also obvious that Lenny was the guy who attacked Lou earlier in the film in New York City that left her almost dead and that this time, in secluded Shealter Island, he was going to finish the job that he started back there. What we don't know about Lenny is that he's anything but alone in his attempt to murder Lou and has a lot more help in doing it then we, the audience, and Lou may think.
Stephen Baldwin together with Ally Sheedy and Patsy Kensit are about as odd a trio as you would ever see in a motion picture. In most of their scenes together they came across so absurd that you at first thought that the scenes were badly done out-takes that for some reason or mistake, or maybe even practical joke, ended up getting edited back back into the movie.
There was also the local Shealter Island Sheriff Deluca, Chris Penn, who also got into the act later in the movie that's after you forgot all about him and thought that his brainless actions earlier were just comic relief. Sheriff Deluca is also one of the major players in the plot to do in poor Lou.The ending of the movie was about as anti-climatic as you could make it with the only major actor in the film who, up to then, had nothing to do with the plot to murder and legally steal Lou's money ending up being the "mastermind" of this whole crazy and unbelievable scenario.
Starring Kensit and Sheedy body doubles
Whatever happened to Eighth Wonder singer Patsy Kensit after she appeared in the high voltage, high energy thriller 'Lethal Weapon 2'? Well, she went on to appear in a number of okay pictures (the acclaimed 'Twenty-One' and the sweet romantic comedy 'Does This Mean We're Married') and some truly terrible TV-movie-type fodder such as 'Kill Cruise.' Unfortunately, this crass production falls into the latter camp and, despite some good talent and a serviceable script, the movie is betrayed and let down with an overabundance of (blatently obvious) body-double nudity (that would seem more in place in a soft porn production) and a (supposidly) "surprise twist' that is telegraphed early in the movie. Kensit plays the lesbian girlfriend Alex, to Alley Sheedy's motivational speaker character, who persuades her girlfriend to escape the big city after she is brutally attacked. The two seek the solitude on an island and tension arises with the arrival of an injured man, a violent storm that knocks out the phone lines and ferry services to the mainland and the almost voyeuristic fascination with the girls displayed by the local sheriff. Kensit was the reason why I picked up this movie, that and the promise of an okay suspense thriller, but her talent is once again squandered in a movie that fails to deliver any real tension.
- DLibrasnow
- Dec 12, 2004
- Permalink
Perception is the only reality
Caught this tonight on cable and have to say it surprised me - didn't figure out what was really going on, even though I knew that what was being shown wasn't the entire story, and I have seen so many films like this, where what you see isn't exactly what you get, where you can't take anything at face value, so it shouldn't have fooled me. But it did. It's the sort of movie that leaves you shaking your head at the end, wondering why you didn't see it coming (no pun intended).
Sheedy, Baldwin and Kensit turn in clever performances, with enough eroticism to keep you watching and wondering where the heck it's actually going. I don't know if it would be as enjoyable in a movie theater, but seeing it at home from the perspective of my couch was a decent experience.
Sheedy, Baldwin and Kensit turn in clever performances, with enough eroticism to keep you watching and wondering where the heck it's actually going. I don't know if it would be as enjoyable in a movie theater, but seeing it at home from the perspective of my couch was a decent experience.
Baffling level of incompetence
Is there a movie category lower than Straight-to-video? If so, perhaps it's Straight-to-Showtime-at-3 a.m., which is where I caught this little oddity. I won't waste any time on how idiotic the picture is since others have already explained it well--but I did want to comment on a "technique" so badly executed that I had to pinch myself to confirm what I was seeing and hearing. Midway though the film, for what seems like 20-30 minutes, there are passages of dialogue and voice-over narration that are accompanied by the actors talking, or mouthing words since you can't actually hear them--you can only hear the voiceovers. It seems like you've stumbled onto the worst dubbing job of all time. The actors appear to converse, and separate dialogue is heard on the soundtrack. I think the director was trying for artiness, a way of conveying events in a way parallel to the action on screen. Or something. We'd have to dig out THE CREEPING TERROR to find another botch job of this calibre.
A failure with an interesting, and perhaps unintentional, subtext
A sad film to watch
- rosscinema
- May 25, 2004
- Permalink
Long Island sound
Geoffrey Schaaf probably had no clue where he was taking this story, because ultimately, it makes no sense at all. The credits tell us it's based on a screen play from Paul Corvino; it makes us wonder if the writer must have been under influence when he conceived this pathetic thriller.
The actors are wasted. Poor Ally Sheedy, she gets involved in projects that really don't deserve her talent. One wonders if after High Art a lot of directors have decided to cast her in lesbian roles.
The story is too obvious. We know what's coming just by looking at the first scenes of the dinner party. It goes downhill after that. Stephen Baldwin will be better off by retreating to his native Long Island and start a clam digging business. Chris Penn is just horrible in the film, as are Patsy Kensit and Mimi Longeland.
Surf channels whenever this dud shows on your screen.
The actors are wasted. Poor Ally Sheedy, she gets involved in projects that really don't deserve her talent. One wonders if after High Art a lot of directors have decided to cast her in lesbian roles.
The story is too obvious. We know what's coming just by looking at the first scenes of the dinner party. It goes downhill after that. Stephen Baldwin will be better off by retreating to his native Long Island and start a clam digging business. Chris Penn is just horrible in the film, as are Patsy Kensit and Mimi Longeland.
Surf channels whenever this dud shows on your screen.
To Be Honest.. Terrible.
- ultimate_gamer
- Jan 13, 2007
- Permalink
Not A Bad Movie
Believe it or not this movie was not bad. Definitely a guy movie. It had the three S's of a good flick: sex, suspense and scenery(nude). It's a good flick to watch at bed time when you need something to fall asleep to. William Penn plays a great cop who's elevator doesn't quite go all the way to the top, if you know what I mean. Hats off to Kensit and Sheedy for playing a couple and not shying away from showing their love for each other, if you know what I mean. The plot takes a little twist so as a result interest level is kept at a minimum in addition to all the nice scenery. I wonder if this willingness to play girl on girl for Ally Sheedy is part of her comeback from nowhere that started back when she did girl on girl in Higher Art?
poor effort
I might have a partial spoiler here, but maybe not.
What's the matter with Ally Sheedy, taking a role like this? The movie's plot and ending would do well in an 11th grade creative class, but gee, we paid money to see this. It's impossible for anything like this movie to happen. In a crime scene, the same gun was used on every person in the room, which would make forensics people lick their chops.
I've always liked AS, but she must have a lousy agent. She's a pretty good actress, and needs to be tested a bit. The Dancer Upstairs was okay, but another mediocre writer ruled.
I felt duped, and to call this movie a thriller was mislabeled.
2 out of ten.
What's the matter with Ally Sheedy, taking a role like this? The movie's plot and ending would do well in an 11th grade creative class, but gee, we paid money to see this. It's impossible for anything like this movie to happen. In a crime scene, the same gun was used on every person in the room, which would make forensics people lick their chops.
I've always liked AS, but she must have a lousy agent. She's a pretty good actress, and needs to be tested a bit. The Dancer Upstairs was okay, but another mediocre writer ruled.
I felt duped, and to call this movie a thriller was mislabeled.
2 out of ten.
- jimbobnick
- Jul 13, 2006
- Permalink
This film has gotten a bad shake..
Other reviews on IMDb give an accurate enough summary of the plot. But they seem to have been expecting something like The Usual Suspects. Direct-to-video movies are usually inferior, with respect to production values and acting, than theatrical releases (poor as the latter generally are). So we shift into different critical gear when we watch a non-theatrical release. And by these standards, Shelter Island is not bad at all.
The movie is by no means a "lesbian skin flick," and the scenes of (partial) nudity are few and brief in duration. The story line is entirely coherent, and the twists -some maybe predictable, some not- are quite entertaining. The acting is far above average for the kind of film we are talking about. Ally Sheedy puts more into her character than the writing would suggest, and in fact all the actors acquit themselves more than competently.
Shelter Island moves along at a brisk pace, is snappily photographed and offers a few fun twists. This is what you'd call "a good popcorn movie." The movie gets 8 out of 10.
The movie is by no means a "lesbian skin flick," and the scenes of (partial) nudity are few and brief in duration. The story line is entirely coherent, and the twists -some maybe predictable, some not- are quite entertaining. The acting is far above average for the kind of film we are talking about. Ally Sheedy puts more into her character than the writing would suggest, and in fact all the actors acquit themselves more than competently.
Shelter Island moves along at a brisk pace, is snappily photographed and offers a few fun twists. This is what you'd call "a good popcorn movie." The movie gets 8 out of 10.
- alannasser
- Jul 15, 2004
- Permalink
Hard to understand but not that terrible
- bellino-angelo2014
- Apr 24, 2024
- Permalink
Glad It Was Free
The film is just a part of a long tradition to kill the lesbian in the movies
Up to 1970 lesbians almost always died in the movies. The modern movie maker does not want to blame lesbians, but they have to die. By the way, in Nazifilm there also were a lot of strong women, who had to die at the end. It does not give meaning, why the blonde woman kills her lover just to find another woman, who will make her laundry. When she is killing her girlfriend, you get the impression, that she is heterosexual, but she has to be a lesbian at the end - because the film wants to tell you, that lesbians are mean, stupid and, in a way, helpless. They can get rich, but they have a poor live. That it is dangerous to be a lesbian - very dangerous. In one thing the film is right: it's all about perception. The film is bullshit.
pretty terrible
this movie is pretty awful. it lacks suspense and is all around boring and worthless. i connected with none of the characters and now as i think back, i can't even remember how it ends. don't waste your time w/ it. actually i think why i don't remember the end is because i fast forwarded to the end, i do that sometimes, so i can say i've seen a film but i don't have to actually sit and watch the whole thing, i usually get the gist though. it's a bad habit really, if it's getting too long or i'm just feeling too fidgety or it's boring i'll fast forward. i always feel a little guilty when i do it though. like i'm disrespecting the director, and i am, but i've got other things to do than watch a crappy film. now mind you i've only done this a few times and this film happens to be on my 'sucky' film list.
- laurierenee
- Nov 8, 2006
- Permalink
thank you, Shelter Island! I hadn't realised sex and murder were supposed to be boring! you've enlightened us all
this movie is hideously and unredemably awful. if you want to see softcore lesbian porn with Ally Sheedy (not BreakfastClub!Ally Sheedy, when she was kinda cute in a weird way, but AgingAndReallyCreepilyOver-Aerobicised! Ally Sheedy, no less) and some bitchface blond Brit, and then have a whole movie's worth of lame nonsensical plot crammed into the last 10 minutes, then you'll end up building a little shrine to this movie somewhere in your humble abode. the rest of the human race, and several other organisms who possess more than one cell will absolutely loathe it.
don't go see it just for the girl-on-girl sex, either. it's not particularly sexy, and even if any girl-on-girl stuff will get you off, you will at some point see a partially nude Baldwin. check out the photo of Stephen Baldwin on his page here, and you'll understand why you'll have to schedule a trip to your nearest cutlery store in order to purchase a knife to gouge your eyes out. he's got the fug big-time.
don't go see it just for the girl-on-girl sex, either. it's not particularly sexy, and even if any girl-on-girl stuff will get you off, you will at some point see a partially nude Baldwin. check out the photo of Stephen Baldwin on his page here, and you'll understand why you'll have to schedule a trip to your nearest cutlery store in order to purchase a knife to gouge your eyes out. he's got the fug big-time.
- magenta_timewarp
- Sep 4, 2003
- Permalink
its a total waste of time
I am sorry I wasted my time watching this film, with all due respect, there is NOT one positive thing I can say about it. Acting is terrible, plot is as equally lousy, there is no cinematography involved in the production of this "film". You better off watching TV. I don't know who is the "director" but I think world would be a better place if the money spent on the production of this "thing" would go to someone with bit of talent and innovative thinking, because this film provides ZERO entertainment. All that "corporate" brands we are being preached about, have nothing to do with plot, I really failed to find a concept behind the storyline, moreover, don't have a slightest clue what the director was suppose to achieve with this so-called "movie". Its so painful to see such a waste of money...
- RubenMalayan
- Jul 31, 2004
- Permalink
What were they thinking?
By 'they' I mean the people who told the young lady at the video store when I asked her "Do you know anything about this?" and she replied that she hadn't seen it but had heard good things from people. Geesh, I wonder what their standard is? This was pitifully terrible. I very rarely turn off a movie (or put down a book) but my partner and I just could not endure it to care enough about what happened to whom. Actually, "Who cares?" really does hit the nail on the head. Who cares what happened to any of the characters; perhaps it would have been better if they all expired within the first 5 minutes and thus spared the viewer for lame dialog and a tremendously boring story.
This sucks
This movie was absolutely horrible. i know nothing of the actors previous credits but i do have to comment on this movie. if you can even call it a movie. first of all, i live in a town a stones throw from the ferry to shelter island. i have been there many many times and i know what it looks like. The two women in the movie are supposedly moving to shelter island. this is one of the flaws. the shots that were supposedly Shelter Island are not. they are shots that were filmed in the Hampton's somewhere. that disappointed me. also the whole movie was a flop. the acting was bad, the story was stupid. the only reason i would rent this movie again would be for the lesbian scenes. although those weren't that good either. Anyway. all in all this movie was absolutely horrible. don't waste your 5 bucks on it or whatever it costs to rent a movie at your local video store.
- bloodsunday35
- Aug 24, 2005
- Permalink
A pointless film
I saw the opening of this film at a film festival on long island, and i was disgusted. The movie has absolutely no plot... doesn't make any sense... and uses nudity very distastefully. I think the director just needed to shoot the film out of his sexual fantasies. I will say the acting isn't half bad, but the movie itself is a waste of time. I wouldn't recommend anyone to see this film unless you're a teenage boy looking for a sleazy girl-on-girl kinda movie.
No Sanctuary Here
This movie is an elementary school production. Everything about it exudes an immaturity and lack of sophistication that can be overwhelming if you aren't expecting it. Still, I suspect some people can enjoy this freshman effort. It all depends on which part of the audience you belong.
Are you one of the people obligated to like it, like parents watching their child up on the stage? Are you an Ally Sheedy fan filled with false hope that she's finally making a return to decent film like High Art? Are you a lesbian sexploitation fan anticipatory that maybe this bad sex scene isn't the only one in the film? Or are you that diehard thriller fan who, during the end credits, is still looking for a redeemable moment of tension? If you could potentially be any of the above. stay away.
I suspect most of you will be the bored sibling in the crowd who was forced into watching this crummy play by a loved one. If this happens to be you, try your best to endure it, and maybe later seek sweet revenge by subjecting this loved one to a bad film you enjoy.
And the few of you who might genuinely have a blast with this film, are the teenagers who sneak into the back of the auditorium to make fun of the little kids on-stage. For you guys, this movie is great riffing fodder. A true treat to the MST3K crowd, and only for you can I recommended Shelter Island.
Are you one of the people obligated to like it, like parents watching their child up on the stage? Are you an Ally Sheedy fan filled with false hope that she's finally making a return to decent film like High Art? Are you a lesbian sexploitation fan anticipatory that maybe this bad sex scene isn't the only one in the film? Or are you that diehard thriller fan who, during the end credits, is still looking for a redeemable moment of tension? If you could potentially be any of the above. stay away.
I suspect most of you will be the bored sibling in the crowd who was forced into watching this crummy play by a loved one. If this happens to be you, try your best to endure it, and maybe later seek sweet revenge by subjecting this loved one to a bad film you enjoy.
And the few of you who might genuinely have a blast with this film, are the teenagers who sneak into the back of the auditorium to make fun of the little kids on-stage. For you guys, this movie is great riffing fodder. A true treat to the MST3K crowd, and only for you can I recommended Shelter Island.
I have seen this crap for Patsy only; so,other Patsy 'completists might follow my example
- Cristi_Ciopron
- Sep 9, 2007
- Permalink