- [yelling at a G.I. Joe figure]
- R. Lee Ermey: Joe, you unorganized, grab-asstic bucket of civilian garbage! Drop and give me twenty!
- [Yelling at a Pillsbury Doughboy figure]
- R. Lee Ermey: You're not a doughboy, you're a disgusting fat-body! Sound off like you got a pair!... Well, I'll be damned. You DON'T have a pair!
- [dressed as a French musketeer]
- R. Lee Ermey: Welcome to Mail Call. I am your host, Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Fancypants.