House of the Dead (2003)

Jürgen Prochnow: Kirk

Photos 

Quotes 

• Greg : [pointing on a zombie in the water]  Shoot it!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : What do you think I am trying to do, you fucking moron?

• Salish : Cap'n! Cap'n! I'm not goin'. I'm not goin'! There's evil spirits on that island!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : You just get the deck lines and let me worry about the evil spirits. Okay, Salish?

• Simon : What're we going to do? We don't have weapons or food. We don't have shit!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Actually, we do.

• Capt. Victor Kirk : Where ya headin', girls? Huh?

  Simon : It's, uh, somewhere in the San Juans. You must know where that is, right Skipper?

  Salish : [looks at map]  You crazy?

  [to Kirk] 

  Salish : They crazy!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : No, I don't think so.

  Simon : Excuse me?

  Capt. Victor Kirk : I said forget it.

  Salish : Yeah, forget it! Forget it! That means stop talkin' and start walkin'!

  Simon : Why?

  Salish : Why? Why? Why? They always ask why!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : You know what they call this island? 'Isla del Muerte'

  Salish : Muerte. That's Spanish for 'death.' In case you don't speak Mexican.

  Simon : Listen, pal. I got an island to catch and if this is a lame attempt to hit me up for more cash...

  Capt. Victor Kirk : No, it ain't!

  Salish : There ain't enough cash in the world to make us go back there. Nah, keep the cash! Keep the cash!

• Jordan Casper : [after the crate is open]  What else you got in there besides smokes, Victor? Anything useful?

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Well, let me introduce you to my little friend.

  [Moves cigars out of the way to reveal an arsenal of weapons] 

• Capt. Victor Kirk : Lady needs to dine on a humble pie every once in a while.

• Rudy : [Kirk has just opened up a crate seemingly containing only cigars]  You gotta be kidding me.

  Alicia : This is why you had Casper on your ass? You're smuggling Cuban cigars?

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Among other things...

  Jordan Casper : [Casper enters]  Still hard-at-work smuggling I see, Victor.

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Don't you just wish you could prove that, Jordan?

  Jordan Casper : What are these, then?

  Capt. Victor Kirk : [Lying]  Well, funny thing is we just found them laying on the beach. Crazy, huh?

• Capt. Victor Kirk : [before blowing up the zombies]  See you in hell, boys.

• Salish : [From the Funny Version]  She was naked!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Ha, don't tell me!

  Salish : Yeah, big titties!

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Really?

  [chuckles] 

  Capt. Victor Kirk : You liked it, huh?

  Salish : Yeah.

  Capt. Victor Kirk : Why didn't you call me? Huh?

  Salish : They're mine!

  [both laugh]