This is a film I've wanted to see for a long time. When it finally came on earlier tonight, I just couldn't miss it....and I'm glad I didn't. "Platinum Blonde" has a non-linear storyline, but it has a common theme, which saved it from certain failure in my "Story" category.
Through the opening credits, we see a hot-looking blonde stripping. Not unusual for a softcore flick, right? This blonde, however, is a Cupid. Yes, a Cupid. "Most people think of us as chubby little babies with bows and arrows who come around on Valentine's Day," Angela the Cupid (played by Holly Sampson) says in the opening scene, "but cupids come in different shapes and sizes." Well, this cupid seems to have taken the right form--at least for a softcore sex film. She'll be our host for this film, taking us through three different scenarios and the challenges she faces in order to get the right people together.
The first story is about a lonely film editor who has the hots for Tawny (played by Shauna O'Brien), an actress in the film he's currently working on. She has an overprotective, jealous type of boyfriend who's also the editor's boss, I think. In comes Angela to work the poor guy into a frenzy. In one scene, the guy walks in on Tawny and her boyfriend having sex in the bathtub. Angela pops in with a funny quote. "They make a cute couple, but I get the feeling they're just going through the motions," Angela says. But after watching them have at it for a bit, she says, "But, I have to say.....those are some pretty good motions." It seems that the editor doesn't know what to do with a woman, so Angela helps him, if you know what I mean. After a good sex session with Angela, the editor has gathered up the strength to give Tawny a script he's been working on. From there, it's a cakewalk. She likes the script, she wants him to direct, they have sex to culminate things and the story ends. (Story Grade: B+)
Our second adventure features two brothers, one of whom is getting married to a woman named Mia (played by Mia; the writers sure weren't innovative with the character names, eh?). Mia's fiance is a womanizer who sleeps with many different women behind her back, including Mia's maid-of-honor; his brother is an upstanding type who is in love with Mia, but doesn't want to betray his brother. Angela comes to save the day. Disguised as a wedding planner, she convinces the good brother to muster up enough courage to tell his brother off before he marries Mia. The night before the wedding, he and Mia have a revelation--they love each other. The next day, the good brother tells his womanizing sibling off and he and Mia live happily ever after. (Story Grade: B-)
The third story is shorter, but much hotter. Busty brunette Shannan Leigh is hidden behind glasses and frumpy clothes and plays Stella Crenshaw, a frustrated office worker who has a crush on her boss. Angela pays her a visit, masquerading as a mailroom worker. She encourages Stella to dress sexier and let her "inner seductress" out. Angela uses her cupid magic to show Stella what she could be like if she used what she has to get what she wants in a not-too-shabby pool table scene. We all know Shannan is gorgeous (see her performance in "Andromina: The Pleasure Planet", it's fantastic) and eventually she lets loose on a guy coming to her apartment to return her stray dog. She let's down her hair and looks much, much better when she meets with her boss this time. Her request for a transfer has been granted, and now she can do what she always wanted to do....sleep with her now-former boss. Stella's "inner seductress" has been let out and now she wants to have sex with just about every guy she sees. Great little story here. (Story Grade: A)
This film was not quite what I expected, but it was good nonetheless. Shauna O'Brien, Mia and Shannan Leigh provided the babe-power this film needs to get a high "Women" grade, the sex was above average and the story as a whole was decent. Angela had some funny quips during the film, which helps out the "Story" grade some. This one was tapeworthy, if only for Shannan's part of the film.
Women: A- (Shauna, Mia and Shannan were the principals involved here, and Holly Sampson wasn't bad either. I liked Shannan Leigh in this film more than I did in Andromina.)
Sex: B+ (Plenty of sex scenes, with Shauna's and Shannan's taking the cake. Mia's sex scenes were decent, but not her best work. Holly's lone sex scene was a winner with me.)
Story: B+ (This is a composite of all three parts of the film. Angela's funny dialogue throughout the film solidified the grade, but the non-linearity of the film made it tough for me to give it an A in this category.)
Overall: B+ (A very good softcore flick. However, it's debatable whether it's tapeworthy or not. The overall grade was straddling the line between A- and B+, but Mia's segment of the film wasn't all that great, so I went with the lower of the two grades.)
