User reviews

This is a very disturbing documentary. One can only congratulate director Sandi Dubowski for the courage in dealing with the subject matter. Of course, the study here was done among Orthodox Jews who are at the margin of their religion. This film is universal because it could apply to conservative beliefs as well.

How can the people in charge of a congregation reject anyone because they are different from what ancient texts tell? Aren't these gay men and women the product of legal marriages from religion abiding parents? These children didn't ask to be born gay, but the fact remains they are that way and no one, being the rabbis in charge, or the parents can reverse the fact. Love, nurturing, acceptance are lacking from all those in high places.

After viewing the film, I felt great sadness for the people that have to lead a life away from family and community for just being gay. Shame on the parents and the leaders for banning their children into oblivion. I salute their stand for being themselves.

It is no secret that many Gays and Lesbians have turned their backs on religion because of its strictures against homosexuality, yet there are still those that want to be both Gay and religious. This is the subject of the poignant documentary, Trembling Before G_d directed by a Gay Conservative Jew, Sandi Simcha Dubowski. The film examines the beliefs of Orthodox Gay and Lesbian Jews who are struggling to bridge the gap between their way of life and the teachings of their religion. The film, which played for five months in New York and was named Best Documentary at the Berlin Film Festival, has sparked debate between liberals and conservatives, Gay rights activists, the media and spokespersons for organized religion.

Orthodox Jews hold that acts of homosexuality are punishable by death. The passage most quoted is from Leviticus 10:13: "A man who lies with a man as one lies with a woman, they have both done an abomination: they shall be p ut to death, their blood is on them". I do not know who wrote those words or what the circumstances were, but I do know that a just God who grants his love unconditionally certainly did not. Yet Orthodox Jewish Rabbis in their devotion to Jewish doctrine consider this the "truth", ignoring the humanity of the people they have been taught to serve. Even more moderate Jews believe that homosexuality is evil or, at the very least, a sickness. This is not far different than the beliefs of many Catholics, Mormons, or Muslims as well, but the film only concentrates on Jews, and only on those who are "orthodox" in their beliefs. [In the Jewish tradition, Orthodox means belief in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) as the written word of God, strict adherence to dietary laws, and following cultural restrictions such as not driving on the Sabbath].

Dubowski interviewed Gays and Lesbians in New York, London, Los Angeles, and Jerusalem, many coping with rejection from their families, issues of suicide and AIDS, and self-acceptance. It is unsettling to hear learned Rabbi's telling them that they must remain celibate, submit to therapy, or pray until their urges disappear. Some of the Rabbis do not even understand what is meant by oral sex and mutual masturbation. The urge to say, "please wake up" is overwhelming. One of the interviewees is David from Los Angeles, a bright and articulate man in his late 30s who, following the advice of a rabbi, tried for many years to change his orientation through therapy. He talks without bitterness about the advice given to him by various rabbis to eat figs, snap a rubber band on his wrist or bite his tongue whenever he feels the temptation to have sex with another man. Now twenty years later, David confronts the Rabbi who ordered him into therapy and tells him that his advice did not work.

There is also Michelle, a Hasidic Lesbian from Brooklyn who married under pressure from the family that now virtually disowns her. Many of the people interviewed are afraid to reveal their names and faces on camera because of fear of family and community rejection. Some openly state how afraid they are that their life style will prevent them from ever going to "heaven". One of the angriest is Israel, a 58-year-old man from New York who rejected his family after they forced him to undergo electro-shock therapy. Others interviewed include Rabbi Steven Greenberg, the first openly Gay Orthodox rabbi and author of the book "Of Wrestling with God and Men". Greenberg talks with hope about God being lovingly open to questioning and to learning from man. He says there is an alternate way of interpreting the passage from Leviticus but we are not told what this is.

Trembling Before G_d is about being Gay but is also about the need to belong -- to parents, to community, to a set of rules. It is heartbreaking when Israel says, "I'm 58 years old and I want my Daddy" and extremely moving when he finally telephones his 98-year old father after twenty years of estrangement. In an odd way, the documentary celebrates Judaism even while pointing out its flaws and it got me back in touch with the Jewish experience -- the songs, the feeling of community, and the struggle to understand God and His purposes. The real sadness was thinking about centuries of intolerance practiced by those who themselves have been victims. Trembling Before G_d illuminates the problem but does not show us a way out, yet if given enough exposure it just might become a wake up call to those still tied to an archaic belief system that long ago ceased to have any relevance or purpose.

Few people realize the magnitude of the controversy surrounding this issue, mostly because they have not experienced this struggle in their own lives. This film delves into the lives of several members of the orthodox Jewish community worldwide who struggle with their see-saw lives, trying to find a happy balance between religious & sexual identity. There is a new hope of opening the orthodox Jewish community to the possibility of accepting this growing population. Anyone who has had difficulty with acceptance for any reason, be it religion, race, creed, sexual identity, will be able to identify with those who tell their story. Please support this cause and see this film. The word must be spread and these stories must be heard before the world as we know it can change. Although this film is of a very serious nature, there are lighter moments that lift the spirit and present an air of hope for a better future.

I am a Jew, albeit a "heathen" Jew, yet I found myself loathing all of these hyper-religious Jews, gay or not. It wasn't until the very end of the film that the director managed to bring us back to the mainstream, the essence, of Judaism with a throwaway quote from one of the film's counterpoint talking heads, a psychologist who had defected from the flock of extreme Orthodox Judaism. To paraphrase his lyrical and solid argument, he reminded us that the God of Judaism is a God of love, not control. He is the same God that engaged in conversations, in the Talmudic tradition, with Abraham and Moses and other biblical figures, in order to respond to the needs of the changing human condition. Until that point it was unclear what the director's point of view was or who her intended audience was for this film. If this portrayal of the most extreme vestige of Judaism was intended for a general audience, then, judging by my own reaction, I'd say she may have succeeded in painting all of Judaism with the same brush. It was clear that the rigid and mindless interpretations of Judaism by the extreme right were being depicted as a bad thing, but where was the Talmudic debate as to why they were wrong? I may not be a religious Jew, and I may not believe in God, but as one of the gay outcasts from the flock explained, I do believe that being born a Jew is a gift. It is Judaism's ancient teachings, that a meaningful life must be spent in pursuit of knowledge and understanding and tolerance in order to better the human condition, that make Judaism such a special tradition to be a part of.

The message that the film SHOULD have made, and failed to do, is that EVERY religion taken to its extreme, including Judaism, is nothing more than a breeding ground for people who are like robotic religious protoplasm. Ultimately, their religious fervor serves only to maintain a symbolic, xenophobic status quo that becomes a perversion of something they blindly devote their life to preserving.

I had heard a lot about this movie before I saw it. I rented it and watched it twice. I never watch movies twice! I think that this movie should be watched by all. Being gay and religious is obviously not just a Jewish problem. There are people all over the world right now from many religions, ethnic groups, and ages that are struggling with potential rejection and/or isolation if they come out. They feel defective and guilty for being who they are. In come cases, the family gets rejected and labeled as the "family with the gay son and /or daughter." It is really sad and unnecessary. This type of reaction to homosexuality is potentially chasing away good people who can make a difference in our society. Additionally, many teenagers and young adults find themselves with no hope. The only way out for them is suicide. This is horrible.

Watch the movie and "Disc 2." It has good stuff on it! :)

This documentary transcends any and every divisions there are in this world and shows the admirable strength a proud few who felt the need to communicate their struggle with the rest of the world. I was always taught that one should could not be religious AND homosexual, that we had to choose between being one or the other. This film proves that theory wrong. Its ultimate message is showing the power of love via humanizing and de-stigmatizing a sensitive, but very real, issue. God bless all who participated.

For all its high spirits, feeling of brotherhood and celebration, Old World Judaism shuns homosexuality with an angry vigor, with families abandoning or shutting out their gay children completely, leaving the gay Jewish minority to seek solace in treatments, either psychiatry or with outmoded methods (one gay man is told to snap a rubberband around his wrist whenever he sees a fellow he's attracted to!). Globe-trotting but exceptionally lightweight documentary tries a multi-character approach with the stories interlocking and so forth, but it's a film-structure too ambitious for a low-budget project such as this. The feelings involved in the film are not cheaply felt, but the movie itself seems merely pasted together. We get far more than we need about a tour guide in Israel who hasn't seen or spoken to his family in years, but very little about a lesbian who's afraid to even walk through a Jewish celebration being held in her neighborhood (when she pauses to watch the happy children playing, she wryly comments, "they look much happier than I ever was"). These Orthodox gays and lesbians are tied irrevocably to their faith, yet they cannot reconcile the fact their religion doesn't regard them in a positive light. Their collective self-esteem is incredibly low because they have more questions than answers. A curious glimpse into the human condition--possibly saying more on the need for religion rather than the condemnation of homosexuality--but with blurred-out faces and silhouettes, uncertain editing and sloppy interviews, we don't get enough substance on the main topic, and not nearly enough colorful human subjects to sustain interest. ** from ****

As someone who grew up with religion & was gay, the topic of the intersection of the 2 would be potentially interesting. However, I just found this to be a rather banal documentary. It's a rather superficial. Just people stating the same thing over & over... As a budding gay boy, I looked at religion & saw it for what it was...a load of bunk. So, listening to a bunch of people hem & haw about reconciling the differences between the 2 just sounds tiresome & confirmed that renouncing religion (superstition) is the right decision.

If there wasn't so much footage of people bloviating about themselves & more about either the history of treatment of homosexuality in Judaism or more about actual philosophical underpinnings of religion that could still make it relevant in a secular society, this could have been much better...However, as others have mentioned, it's mostly just people kvetching with annoying music in the background. Had Oprah done a show on the topic, it would have been more interesting.

There will always be oppression, there will always be bigotry, and there will always be guilt and shame, because organized religion has given us all of these and more. And now here comes a group of gay Orthodox Jews asking their elders and family to deny millennia of religious writings and dogma and accept them unconditionally? I am gay and a Jew and accept the fact that not every person I meet will be happy with either of those affirmations. To find people that will accept both at the same time is rarer still. At least I had the good fortune NOT to be born into an orthodox household. I would have written them off years ago..

This documentary is a caring and touching look at several people caught in a moral and sexual dilemma. Whom do they deny, themselves, or G-d? If they proclaim their homosexuality to their world, they are dismissed or ignored, shunned or exiled. If they repress their feelings and accept the dogmatic teachings of their draconian faith, then they are driven to suffer in silence, or worse, suicide.

This is little more than a modern day inquisition with the parents, the rebbe's and the congregations turning the thumbscrews on these pathetic souls. My heart goes out to all of them, but in my opinion, it is a loosing battle. I would rather see them live as complete a life as they can, knowing they are doing the best that they can, and striving for a shift in attitude in general, not a change in religious doctrine, which will never come.

Today the question of homosexuality in the Jewish world is in the forefront of the Jewish press. The Conservative movement just voted to ordain gay and lesbian rabbis and allow for same sex "committment" ceremonies. Call it what you will, but it's same sex marriage.

To make my position clear, I totally support equal rights under the secular law for gays and lesbians but feel the is no official place for it in religious law. The Orthodox community will SHUN such people (and I can understand that), The Conservative community will be kind of blase about it, the Reform community will openly embrace it.

To see the reality of the genuine suffering of Orthodox gay and lesbian people brought tears to my eyes when I saw this film. They are torn between 2 very strong and basic values, are being pulled apart emotionally. They strongly desire to be part of the Orthodox community which shuns them totally and they cannot chose one life style over the other.

For those of you shunners, this film should make it much more difficult to have the knee-jerk reaction to the problem.

This film is wonderful. It's a moving account of devout Jewish LGBT people. They tell their stories with honesty, humour and candour. The film is beautifully shot and the score becomes an integral part of the film (almost another character). The whole package is really very moving, but, to be honest, the footage can verge on the grainy (although the silhouette scenes are incredibly beautiful), and the subjects can verge on the irritating. (Some of the Rabbis need a holy kick to the head!) Nevertheless, really worth watching. The extras with the DVD are also a nice bonus. This film has become a movement in itself bringing healing and discussion of this important issue within Jewish circle. (There needs to be a Christian version of this film! A dialogue about the question of how to reconcile LGBT Christians passionate love of their faith and the Divine with the drastic Biblical prohibitions that forbid homosexuality.)

It isn't an unfamiliar mantra, but that doesn't mean it loses its power.

Look, glbt people of faith have been told for a long time that they should either "straighten up" (pun intended) or leave their faith traditions. I've experienced that myself by identifying jointly as lesbian and Christian. But is it really the place of any community of humans to dictate the status of my relationship to G-d? Well, I suppose that in the Jewish tradition it is even more complex, where faith, culture, ethnic identity, and family are more tightly intertwined than anything. And it pained me... the thought that anyone would be forced out of their faith community or even their sense of relationship to G-d by human reaction to sexual orientation.

I have great respect for the history and theology that underlies orthodox Jewish observance. But I want there to be a space for all people who share that bond with G-d and who want to observe, just as I want that for myself in Christianity. Is that REALLY too much to ask? And is the consequence worth it? That is the question of Trembling Before G-d... a wonderful film.

I usually do not write reviews especially for documentaries such as this one which was a torture to watch but in this case as a gay man I will. I was so disgusted with the ethos of the homophobic orthodox jews and the so-called Israeli psychiatrist who was proudly defending therapy for gay people in this documentary !! If ever these hasidic jews take over power in Israel they will be worse then radical Islamists. They are just appallingly disgusting

As a gay Catholic, who has embraced celibacy to conform to the teachings of the Church, I can wholeheartedly identify with the efforts of the Orthodox Jewish lesbians and gays in this film to reconcile their spirituality and sexuality, and to find acceptance in the eyes of God and their community. It is heartwrenching especially to see the havoc that this struggle has wreaked in the life of Israel Fishman. On the surface, he responds with bravado, rejecting the people and the faith that have rejected him. Yet, in one of the film's most powerful scenes, he vents his sorrow and bitterness, anger and rage, at what being gay has cost him, especially the love of his father.

The documentary is perhaps not slick and elegant in terms of production values. The constant subtitles, interpreting Hebrew and Yiddish terms for the Gentile viewer, are sometimes intrusive and annoying (especially if the viewer is at all conversant with the Jewish faith). It would have been useful, though, to explain that "Ha-Shem" means "the Name", i.e., God's name which may never be pronounced.

What it most interesting about this documentary, I think, is that it shows how the main problem may not so much be finding acceptance of onself as lesbian or gay, but rather finding acceptance of oneself as a spiritual person in a secular world.

Finally, although the film clearly documents the trials and difficulties of being a lesbian or gay Orthodox Jew, the joy of loving and being loved by G-d comes shining through. The lesbians and gays in this film suffer much at the hands of their families and rabbis, their synagogues and yeshivas -- but never, it seems, do they question that they are loved and accepted by G-d.

For the moment, imagine being a young child, and you are observing unintentionally that all of your friends show signs of love to opposite sex, which basically creates a clear foundation that it is "the norm" in the society you are in. But then you realize that you have that tingling feeling when it comes to interaction with boys, but nothing happens with girls. Of course, the panic will slowly arise, because it is obvious to you at this age that this is abnormal. And you try to hide deep down your feelings at all, planting that exact seed of conflict of your true nature with the world around you, which is also means that you deny to tell and admit to anyone, even yourself. That basically describes the struggle of vast majority of homosexual people around the world. But, that is not enough: imagine if all of the mentioned things happen in a community, where religion plays huge role in people's life, spreading its roots deep down to most of the aspects of their life. And this particular religion is straightforwardly states that being gay or lesbian is a sin and/or evil quality. In other words, struggles that LGBT people would come up with are multiplied several times. And this is what is shown in the wonderful documentary film called "Trembling before G-d", created in 2001 and based on the six-year work of Sandi Simcha DuBowski interviewing dozens of homosexual people in the Jewish community. Only several out of all were brave enough to agree being part of this film, which already shows how much this particular quality is abnormal to their society. The whole film is constructed around the interviews and people's stories with an addition of commentaries from different psychotherapists and rabbis (teachers in Judaism). The main point here is the conflict between the inner nature of homosexual people and their faith. From the one side, it is written commandments in Torah (Jewish Bible), that being homosexual is a sin and etc., and it was mentioned in the film that it is literally the first line that says breaking the rules is prohibited. In other words, there is a pretty obvious logical contradiction in being gay and religious person at the same time. But on the other side, it is inevitable nature of the human itself, he/she simply cannot go against himself in this particular aspect of sexuality. You just do not feel the same feelings of love and sexual desire to the opposite sex, and there is no matter of controlling it. In the film, actual gay person consulted several times at psychotherapist about this issue, and what he was actually offered were different attempts to change it - whenever he started to feel attracted to men he needed to slap himself by rubber band, or bite his tongue, or hold on the breath, using the logic of waking up from this "cloud". In other case, another homosexual man's story were way more harsh than the previous one - as soon as his father knew about his gayness, he started taking son to mental hospital, where he undergo electroshocking practice, by also suffering from huge pressure towards him. There, we see that being gay/lesbian is not only bad, both parents and society tries to "cure" these people from their sins, by medicine, by performing atonement ceremonies where people prayed for them. This factor also creates large amount of pressure to the individual himself, where he sees that coming out as a gay in this society will cost a lot - lots of health, time, nerves, and different aspects about social life will also change like people evading the contact with him and etc. An interesting phenomenon we can observe here is that it is a fact that being LGBT is considered as a serious sin, and majority of the people who were brave enough to accept it and not be ashamed of it - they try their best to compensate it with lots of good deeds. Trying to shift the balance in the scales for the good side their whole life, which also creates stressful environment. So, where it came up? Gay and lesbian people who can't risk it all to be themselves, lots of people surviving in the marriages with opposite sex just for the sake of family, this is basically how the situation is established in the Jewish society. And the problem is not discussed enough to even reconsider anything, and without the publicly showing and discussing the issue out loud, it could have been the same for the long period of time. But films like this that raise public awareness around this whole situation, they really help to solve the issue and at least show the world that particularly in the Jewish society homosexual people are living in constant agony of conflicting between themselves and their faith.

"They lose their neshama (the soul), they live a life which destroys us internally." - the reality that many Orthodox and Hasidic Jewish gay people have to face throughout their life. "Trembling Before G-D" discusses one of the most arguable questions, which hasn't lost its relevance up to these days, by looking into the lives of gay people who find themselves balancing between properly following Judaist beliefs and continuing to be who they are. This question of personality or neshama, the soul in Hebrew, remains to be relevant not only to Judaism, but to other Abrahamic religions as well. This said, the documentary breaks the ice on the topic of religion and homosexuality in Judaism - the movie sets its own pace by developing the discussion basing on the experience of people in the absence of author's external influence. First of all, I find it important to say that I possess a little knowledge about Judaism and I have secular views towards religion in general. Therefore, I really hope to have no bias towards the current topic. Having said that, I want to set the starting point of this review at the conflict between homosexuality and the religion. It is permittable for a person to be gay, but it is not permittable to engage in homosexual activity. In fact, it is said in Torah: "And if a man lies with mankind, as with womankind, both of them have committed a detestable act: They shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them", or in other words those who engage in such activity should be punished by death. Therefore, being homosexual is viewed as having a burden to carry though the whole life and undermine any intimate relationship with the same sex. This looks pretty much exclusive, as if Torah excludes gay people from sharing their and receiving feelings of love or joy, even though it was the God who created them homosexual. As one of the interviewees questions if "Joy is only being straight and having children", in my mind, I came up with another question of whether these religious gay people become martyrs for the sake of Hashem, the God, - not only in the meaning of Kiddush Hashem and "sanctification of God's name", but also in the meaning of disregarding their personal desires for the sake of the God. What I see is a paradox, since religious gay people have more desires to overcome during their service to the God, compared to heterosexual people who are free to have intimate relationship once they create a family. If Judaism had merits to assess people's actions as Buddhism has, then I should say that gay individuals who undermine their sexual desires and follow Judaism and Hashem would attain more merits through their life. However, what about the people who do want to have intimate relationship with their partners of the same sex? What Judaism has to offer them? It happens that no such option exists, and these individuals have to find their own way to combine the teaching of Torah with their views. The conflict here is between the religious values and the reality of being gay, the individual's neshama and Torah's teachings or requirements, as I perceive them, written down by Moses. The popular argument about homosexuality about its 'unnaturality' comes to mind as I see its response in Torah. It seems that Torah abandons homosexuals in the same way as it labels penguins to be impure in Leviticus, despite that both of these creatures were created by the God. But what about the natural instincts? One Rabbi in the movie said that "There is no reason for an instinct". Therefore, can we say that sexual desires of gay people cannot be blamed or judged? Even if the answer is yes, this will most probably cause a great disagreement from the majority of Judaist followers due to their conservative views. Nevertheless, if we consider these words from the movie: "God engages with human beings. God listens to them and understands. It is not Judaism if it's not responsive to human condition.", they are based on the example of Moses and other prophets who have engaged with the God and sometimes had influence on him (or may be her). At the same time, to what extent can one question the genuineness of Moses' interpretation of the God's words. I mean, what if Moses belonged to the gay minority in Judaist society? Would his views on God's will remain the same or what influence could he make on the God? It seems like, if the modern Judaist authority agrees that the God can learn from the human, it would still be reluctant to agree on rewriting the Thora and accept the faith of homosexual Judaist at the equal level. So, it happens that the documentary gives rise to even more questions, rather than gives concrete answers. However, these questions, which have often remained unasked, represent an important move to increase the awareness about the problems that gay minority in Judaist society is facing. Can Hashem, the knower of secrets, truly understand this exclusion and guide people towards more inclusive solution? I guess the time will show. Before that, these people will continue to tremble before the God.