- Frankie Delano: You ever read this book?
- Bruno: Have I ever read that book? Not only does that insult my intelligence but it insults my ignorance. Why would a man like me, who happens to like himself, be caught dead reading a bit of boy toy fluff like that?
- Frankie Delano: [using his book to muffle his pistol fire] Because it's a killer.
- [Frankie is hiding a knocked-out mobster who happens to keep slipping wind]
- Frankie Delano: Ma'am.
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: Frankie?
- Frankie Delano: We've got squirrels.
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: Squirrels, Frankie?
- Frankie Delano: Yes, ma'am, big squirrels. They... they tend to overeat preparing for a difficult winter and sometimes they bloat and often they get caught in the walls and to get out of the walls they have to ... deflate and that's what is causing the passage of... windage.
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: Oh...
- [sighs]
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: Poor things.
- Frankie Delano: Yeah, tough luck... tough luck.
- Frankie Delano: I believe in two things, the kindness of the saints and there's somebody for everybody
- Frankie Delano: [tackling an intruding assassin] You Goombas Don't Quit Do Ya?
- Frankie Delano: [to Kip who makes a fighting stance] Reconsider
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: [from the trailer] I Married Him To Death
- Frankie Delano: [nods approvingly] That Would Do It
- Frankie Delano: They think your his
- [Angelo]
- Frankie Delano: mistress
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: I feel like a whore in a catholic church
- Frankie Delano: We all do
- [first lines]
- Rawley Barrett: [over the phone] The Food's Better Here
- Jennifer Barrett Allieghieri: [on the phone] Are you saying my cooking is bad?
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