Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Jason Lee: Brodie, Banky

Photos 

Quotes 

• Banky : Uh, Chaka? Yeah. Hi, I'm Banky Edwards, the creator of "Bluntman and Chronic." We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer.

  Chaka : Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackinated. Okay, Fucky?

  Banky : Uh, it's Banky.

  Chaka : No, it is Fucky.

• Banky : Stop the movie? Are you crazy?

  Jay : All these assholes on the Internet are callin' us names because of this fuckin' stupid movie.

  Banky : That's what the Internet's for, slandering others anonymously! Stopping the flick isn't gonna stop that!

  Jay : This isn't fair! We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin' we stole a monkey, we got shot at, and I got punched in the motherfuckin' nuts by a guy named Cockknocker!

  Banky : You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do. But Miramax - you know, Miramax Films - paid me a shitload of money for "Bluntman and Chronic." So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN!

  Silent Bob : Oh, but I think it is. We had a deal with you on the comics, remember? For likeness rights? And as we're not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis for your intellectual property, "Bluntman and Chronic," when said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract. Ergo, you find yourself in a VERY actionable position.

  [Banky stares at Silent Bob in disbelief] 

  Jay : Yeah.

  Banky : You guys are gonna ruin my movie career.

  Jay : Well, we want somethin' for our mental anguish.

  Banky : Tell you what: let's settle this monetarily. I'll give you half of what I make.

  [Silent Bob's eyes widen in surprise] 

  Jay : [eagerly]  Half?

  Banky : Half's not enough? Fine, I'll give you two-thirds of what I make.

  Jay : Fuck you, you already said half. You can't take it back.

  [Silent Bob rolls his eyes] 

  Banky : Done.

  [they smile and shake hands as Silent Bob shakes his head] 

• Brodie : Oh my God. Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for.

  Jay : What? Since when?

  Brodie : See, here's the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

• [to a customer at his comic shop, bending a comic's spine] 

  Brodie : It is a comic book, not your dick! Show some respect. Hold it like you'd hold a woman.

• [about Jay] 

  Banky : Your friend's a fucking clown shoe, you know that?

  Silent Bob : You know, after about five movies, I'm starting to realize that.

• Steve-Dave Pulasti : [at Brodie's Secret Stash]  Boy, Walt. This store sure does suck ass, doesn't it?

  Walt "Fanboy" Grover : Tell him, Steve-Dave.

  Brodie : You're both banned.

  Steve-Dave Pulasti : Holy Shit. Un-ban us. This guy'll suck your dick.

  Brodie : I'm sure he will.

  Walt "Fanboy" Grover : [Steve-Dave is forcing him onto his knees]  NO!

• Whillenholly : [to Banky]  Wow, there's a lot of love in the room.

  Banky : Regardless of what you may have heard, I do not kiss guys.

  Whillenholly : Okay, play it cool, hot shot.

• Jay : Miramax? I thought they only did classy pictures, like "The Piano" and "The Crying Game".

  Brodie : Yeah, but then they made "She's All That" and it went downhill from there.

• Banky : I just wanted you to know that I respect your work as an artist. I'm something of an artist myself. I was the inker on the comic book.

  Chaka : Yo, man. You are a tracer, okay? Nobody else got the heart to tell you. You trace. You go around the lines. You are a tracer, okay? Do you think Fat Albert had a tracer? No, Bill Cosby did the whole thing with a roller and it was EXCELLENT.

• [after the "Bluntman & Chronic" premiere] 

  Banky : God, I'm so embarrassed.

  Hooper : You should be. They took your intellectual property and turned it into one 90-minute long gay joke. It was like watching "Batman & Robin" all over again.

• Banky : Well, you're rich, you're in love

  [to Jay] 

  Banky : Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?

  Jay : Well, to have all these fucks stop talking shit about us on the Internet.

  Banky : What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Unless you show up at all their houses and beat the shit out of them.

• Brodie : And on that note, we cue the music.