Legally Blonde (2001)
Ali Larter: Brooke Taylor Windham
Photos
Quotes
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Elle : Ms. Windham, what had you done earlier that day?
Chutney Windham : I got up, got a latte, went to the gym, got a perm, and came home.
Elle : [Elle suddenly gets a brainstorm and looks up] Where you got in the shower?
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower.
[courtroom audience laughs]
Elle : Yes, your Honor. Ms. Windham, had you ever gotten a perm before?
Chutney Windham : Yes.
Elle : How many, would you say?
Chutney Windham : Two a year since I was 12. You do the math.
Elle : [nods, smiles knowingly] You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinco, got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren't a good look for her. She didn't have your bone structure. But thankfully, that same day, she entered the Beta Delta Pi wet t-shirt contest, where she was completely hosed down from head to toe...
DA Joyce Rafferty : Objection, why is this relevant?
Elle : Oh, I have a point, I promise.
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : Then make it.
Elle : Yes, ma'am. Chutney, why is it Tracy Marcinco's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?
Chutney Windham : Because they got wet.
Elle : Exactly. Because isn't the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?
Chutney Windham : [nervous] Uh... y-yes.
Elle : [as Elle speaks, Chutney's composure gradually begins to break. DA Joyce looks worried then horrified] And wouldn't somebody who's had, say, thirty perms before in their life be well aware of this rule? And if, in fact, you weren't washing your hair, as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot? And if, in fact, you had heard the gunshot, Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which would mean that you would have had to found Mrs. Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
Chutney Windham : [desperate] She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
Elle : You, however, had time to hide the gun, didn't you, Chutney? After you shot your father.
Chutney Windham : [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him!
[points at Brooke]
Chutney Windham : I thought it was YOU walking through the door!
[Everyone in the courtroom gasps. DA Joyce Raffery gasps. Chutney is humiliated. Brooke is both horrified and proud. Elle is stunned.]
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : [to the courtroom] Order! Order! Order!
Elle : [surprised] Oh My God!
Brooke : [proud of Elle] Oh My God!
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : [stunned] Oh My God.
[Emmett shakes his head, blown away and proud of Elle]
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : Bailiff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Heyworth Windham. In the matter of The State vs. Brooke Windham, this case is dismissed.
[to Brooke]
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : Mrs. Windham, you are free to go.
Brooke : [happily] Thank you!
[Brooke and Elle hug as the courtroom celebrates]
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Brooke : I was getting...
[whispers]
Brooke : liposuction.
Elle : I'm sorry, what?
Brooke : [whispers a little louder] I was getting liposuction.
Elle : Huh?
Brooke : [shouting] LIPOSUCTION!
Elle : [gasps loudly]
Brooke : OH GOD!
Elle : [low voice] NO...
Brooke : I know! I'm a fraud! It's not like normal women can have this ass! If my fans knew that I bought it, I would lose everything!
[sadly]
Brooke : I've already lost my husband.
[bitterly]
Brooke : I'd rather go to jail than lose my reputation.
Elle : [understanding] Brooke, your secret's safe with me.
Brooke : [tearfully, yet thankfully] Thank you.
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Brooke : Why would I kill my husband?
Professor Callahan : Insurance? A love affair? Pure, unadulterated hatred? Believe me; the D.A. will come up with plenty of reasons.
Brooke : I loved him.
Professor Callahan : He was 34 years older than you. That doesn't look so good to a jury.
Brooke : Then show them a picture of his dick. That should clear a few things up.
-
[after being escorted into the courtroom by the bailiff, Brooke smiles at Callahan intently after learning the truth from Emmett]
Professor Callahan : What are you so happy about? You're on trial for murder.
Brooke : Get up.
Professor Callahan : What?
Brooke : You're fired. I have new representation.
Professor Callahan : Who?
[Callahan is shocked when Elle returns to the courtroom escorted by Dorky Dave]