Retro Puppet Master

Rather uneventful (in terms of puppet-action) 7th installment of the "Puppet Master" franchise. It lacks the stop-motion action of Dave Allen (involved with the previous movies). It was nice to see the older (retro-)versions of some of the famous puppets these films are known for and it was interesting to learn something about the origin of Andre Toulon's re-animating skills. Most acting felt a bit below par. Only Brigitta Dau was decent enough. As a 'neo' Full Moon movie, this one would pass the test. As a 'horror' movie in general, I'd have to flunk it. Hence my over-all rating. Being that it's part 7 in the "Puppet Master" series, I actually thought it would be worse. And given that it's directed by David DeCoteau, I expected it to even totally suck. You just never really know anything for sure, do you? Or maybe once in a while miracles do happen after all.

The film follows on Puppet Master 3, but is actually also intended as the first film in the franchise, as it takes us back to 1902 when Andre Toulon learnt the secret to bringing the puppets to life. The majority of the film is set in 1902.

Bad acting. Bad accents. Silly dialogue. Silly plot. Very poor effects - even for a B-movie, and the puppets are stocky and lifeless. This was annoyingly bad on every level. It is also a vessel for religious mockery. You won't miss anything by not watching this installment.

This is where it was said that the Puppet Master series begins, but it has also been the last Puppet Master movie made before "Puppet Master: The Legacy", so in a way you can say that it acts as a beginning and an end to Full Moon's brilliant movie series. The puppets all have a new (or since this movie has the word "retro" in the title, I suppose it's an old) look to them, but not all of them do. The ones that were left out were Torch, Jester and Leech Woman (thank God). This movie relates mostly to the storyline of Puppet Master #4 and #5. There were some scenes in this movie that I found to carry on and have less action then they deserved, such as random fight scenes. If you're ever planning on watching the Puppet Master movies, watch this one first. This was actually the last Puppet Master film that Guy Rolfe starred in, which really is a shame; he portrayed the role of Andre Toulon better than any of the previous actors. Guy Rolfe passed away in the year 2003, so that means that if any more Puppet Master movies are made (other than "Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys"),an other actor will have to play as Toulon. Let's hope that person is as good as Guy Rolfe, although that will be impossible.

I have seen only of one of the other Puppetmaster movies and remember that it was about an older man with his killing puppets. So I had no knowledge of the beginning of the old man but this Retro film gave me a feel for the man named Andre Toulon played by Greg Sestero. It was not a movie filled with overwhelming killing like the other film I saw but gave the characters a heart. Toulon was a young man that cared for the downtrodden. A man that was falling in love with a woman named Ilsa who likewise cared for people in need when she helps to save an old man attacked. This old man was Afzel, a sorcerer that stole the secret of life. Afzel is being hunted by servants of Sutekh because of this secret. These servants kill all of the friends and fellow puppeteers of Andre but they live again in the puppets of their own creations. Now it is a battle to the death between the servants of Sutekh and Andre and friends when Ilsa is taken hostage. The ending leaves you wondering why these friends would become so evil later in chronological time?

Incredibly cheep garbage made fun by the Rifftrax team. Without their commentary it would have been very tough to sit through this crap.

Greg Sestero from "The Room" has the lead, which must be the reason they picked this one, because most PM movies can be spoofed with ease. The fact that Sestero speaks with an idiotic French accent must have been an added bonus to choose this bad sequel as opposed to other bad sequels. This leads me to suspect that the reason he got this role is because he told the casting director that he is a fluent French speaker. (I read most of his autobiography i.e. The book about "The Room".)

The puppets look more horrible than ever, as opposed to horrifying, and the "Egyptian" bad guys are the least ominous supernatural demons in the history of cinema. Based just on this laughable trio I would slap this turkey with a G rating. 3 year-olds would laugh at this movie.