Despite popular belief, Cold Harvest is not a "great action movie". I think it's even a stretch to call it a movie. I think it is better classified as a form of cancer. Now I am in no way an expert on Cold Harvest. Seeing as maybe 20-30 minutes into the movie I sort of zoned out. My roommates found me on the floor in a tight little ball shivering. I was supposedly mumbling incoherently and they said my eyes had a look of just deep shame and hurt. Anyways, over time my memory has healed and i vaguely remember parts of this lame post-apocalyptic/kung-fu/sci-fi/western. That right there should be reason enough not to see it. As far as I can tell the creators of this awful movie traveled far and wide looking for the worst possible cast and crew that they could assemble. Here's a possible scenario:
Producer: "Hey, dirty naked homeless guy, we're doing a movie and we're looking for a (enter any movie job here). Are you interested?"
Dirty Naked Homeless Guy: "Can I bring my friend?" (pointing to soiled towel on ground)
Producer: "Sure, We'll need a good (enter other movie job here)."
Well, maybe that's not totally true. I think the movie might have been better had they hired a few naked homeless guys...but they didn't. Anyways, if you choose to ignore my warning and watch this movie, just remember the old saying: Everytime someone watches Cold Harvest, a baby gets punched in the stomach.
