The untalented creeps behind the camera on MADE TO ORDER had delusions of a comedy sci-fi sex romp in the vein of YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, but were they out to lunch. Result is a tedious, stupid porn time-killer.
The uncredited mad scientist (same actor played Francia's father in FAMILY FUN - 1978) sets the tone: he's a hammy, untalented jerk, balding but with a sizable dick, affecting a Mittel European accent as he proclaims his goal of creating a fabulous clone. His assistant, Eileen Welles (who has trouble reciting her lines in a monotone) sends two clone women Phaedra Grant and Kathy Kaufman to "collect sperm" for the scientist's big experiment.
Rest of the film is by-the-numbers sex footage of unattractive Kaufman and Grant getting guys to ejaculate. Resulting vial of white stuff is slobbered into the mouth of new improved clone Sharon Kane for a non-finish, wherein she seduces the mad doctor. Final reel is out of synch, which the moronic shill writing notes on the back of SWV's DVD-R box typically found hilarious, but which is merely incompetent.
Nothing interesting happens over the course of a very, very long hour, and there are no SPFX, no attempts whatsoever to back up the sci-fi premise. When it comes time, post-sperm ingestion, to re-animate Kane the scientist merely sticks out his arms and declares: "Let there be light" and she come to life. Even the usually reliable Kane, at the beginning of her career, is a drag.
This movie bites the big one. Something Weird paired it with an equally horrendous junker SUPERLADY, making for a thematically compatible but unwatchable double bill on Vol. 102 of its Dragon Art Theatre series.
