Love from Paris

I liked seeing Marsha Jordan & Diane Clark in this slapdash film, but 'tis a pity they didn't try to make a decent movie. Casting of a real creep in the leading male role is a massive turnoff.

Film is on Vol. 19 of Something Weird's series of "Bucky's Double Softies", and the pairing with another Jordan/Clark opus THE RANCH HAND makes it a good package for their fans, period.

Jordan and hubby Mike (played by the horrible Michael Donovan O'Donnell) are showing 8MM home movies of their recent European vacation to two other couples visiting their apartment. Film is so poorly structured that the other four thesps never get involved in any of the sex scenes.

Donovan ruins the movie single-handedly: he looks a lot like schlock filmmaker Ted Mikels (even the Dali-inspired mustache) but is way out of shape. Though he manages to get a hard-on in his sex scenes, he is otherwise terrible casting as a porn lead -you want the leading ladies to get as far away from him as possible rather than pretend to be in ecstasy with him dry-humping them.

Instead we have a few seconds of stock footage of Madrid and London to introduce those two segments, and budget is SO low that there is no stock footage at all for Paris (despite the film's title!), instead the cast says things like: "Oh, look - there's the Eiffel Tower" to pretend they are watching the sights on film. It doesn't get any chintzier than that.

In Madrid we see a lengthy bed scene of Mike with a beautiful brunette from Barcelona. Her huge dark nipples (on a scale approaching those trademarks of Michelle Angelo) are a highlight here. In London Marsha goes to bed with an unattractive guy faking a British accent and slang terms -he turns out to be AGENT 69 himself, the untalented Jeff Roberts.

In Paris Mike has sex with a showgirl Suzanne, played by Diane Clark who speaks fairly convincingly in French throughout. Next sex scene has Diane giving equal time to Marsha in a hot lesbian clinch.

Film's punchline back in the States involves Diane and is totally stupid, as was the film itself.

Both of these Jordan/Clark films exemplify a brief period when porn was delivering endless sex scenes, just like the hardcore XXX junk cranked out in recent decades and available all over the internet.

But circa 1970 (pre-MONA, the breakthrough XXX fiction film), they couldn't show penetration or ejaculation, so we see endless contortions here to "show all" but avoid crossing the line over into hardcore territory. It's just as boring, in such extended, no editing, shots as shown here, as going all the way has subsequently proved to be.