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Featured review
Once upon a time porn movie titles had funny puns: my favorites were "Bang the Nun Slowly", "Genital Hospital" and the Gay movie "The Czech Is in the Male". This comedy is a dud.
As telegraphed in the opening credits, in which a mound of shaving cream suggesting mashed potato mountain in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is played with by a hand holding a straight razor, the movie is about shaving vaginas.
Tony Tedeschi and Nick East are in the opening scene, seemingly auditioning for a "Wayne's World" parody (Nick is even named Wayne). They're watching a VHS porn movie on a TV set. They enjoy betting each other, and wager $7 whether the stud on screen will go down on the actress to start the sex action. Erica Boyer is star of this scene, while Tony Martino (oddly billed as "Tony Martinez" in both opening and closing credits of "Read My Lips"), is the stud, portraying an artist who talks his model Erica into letting him shave her pussy. That fetish is delivered along with a sex scene and Nick wins the bet.
My pet peeve here, to digress, is how porn credits assign billing. Erica is top billed in the total movie ("Read My Lips") yet this scene on a TV is her total contribution, whereas a personal, unsung favorite of mine, Lili Xene has the biggest role and gets last billing among the actresses. Go figure.
The rest of the movie treats shaving pussies as a source of shaggy dog vignettes, notably a really poor segment in flashback of Cal Jammer humping blonde Jessica Fox (who is misspelled in IMDb as Jessica Foxxx for no good reason) on a fence outdoors. Tedeschi asks at the end of the story what it has to do with shaving pubic hair, and Cal replies that he misunderstood, it was he who shaved off his chin stubble after humping Fox.
Similarly, Nick East cheats in betting, giving Tedeschi a packet of hair to prove he shaved his girlfriend Tina Tyler's pussy, when in fact he had (off-screen thankfully) actually shaved a dog's butt when Tina turned him down.
To quote the current Spectrum (that Charter Communications subsidiary) TV commercial that annoyingly plays every few minutes, "Nonsense".
As telegraphed in the opening credits, in which a mound of shaving cream suggesting mashed potato mountain in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is played with by a hand holding a straight razor, the movie is about shaving vaginas.
Tony Tedeschi and Nick East are in the opening scene, seemingly auditioning for a "Wayne's World" parody (Nick is even named Wayne). They're watching a VHS porn movie on a TV set. They enjoy betting each other, and wager $7 whether the stud on screen will go down on the actress to start the sex action. Erica Boyer is star of this scene, while Tony Martino (oddly billed as "Tony Martinez" in both opening and closing credits of "Read My Lips"), is the stud, portraying an artist who talks his model Erica into letting him shave her pussy. That fetish is delivered along with a sex scene and Nick wins the bet.
My pet peeve here, to digress, is how porn credits assign billing. Erica is top billed in the total movie ("Read My Lips") yet this scene on a TV is her total contribution, whereas a personal, unsung favorite of mine, Lili Xene has the biggest role and gets last billing among the actresses. Go figure.
The rest of the movie treats shaving pussies as a source of shaggy dog vignettes, notably a really poor segment in flashback of Cal Jammer humping blonde Jessica Fox (who is misspelled in IMDb as Jessica Foxxx for no good reason) on a fence outdoors. Tedeschi asks at the end of the story what it has to do with shaving pubic hair, and Cal replies that he misunderstood, it was he who shaved off his chin stubble after humping Fox.
Similarly, Nick East cheats in betting, giving Tedeschi a packet of hair to prove he shaved his girlfriend Tina Tyler's pussy, when in fact he had (off-screen thankfully) actually shaved a dog's butt when Tina turned him down.
To quote the current Spectrum (that Charter Communications subsidiary) TV commercial that annoyingly plays every few minutes, "Nonsense".
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- No More Knickers
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- Runtime1 hour 19 minutes
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