"The Shawshank Redemption" is a wonderful, thoughtful, touching and intelligent masterpiece regarding crime, punishment, and the limitations of the human soul. I guess what I mean is, "The Shawshank Redemption" is a better film than "Killer Tongue". When did I come to this realization? Well, maybe it was around the time in "Killer Tongue" when the hateful prison warden (Robert Englund) gets into an outhouse plastered with pornography only to have an inmate dropped right on top of him from a crane. I think it was right about then that I realized that "Killer Tongue" was not going to be the cinematic masterpiece I had hoped for.
Don't get me wrong, the "hilarious" outhouse shenanigans are not the film's only misstep. Take, for instance, the movie's "hilarious" gag of having poodles magically transformed into loathsome and annoying humans. Before I saw this movie I had a generally positive image of Poodle-Men, but "Killer Tongue" has changed that- I will never vote for a Poodle-Man now! No, no, no! > > My only thoughts that could collect reasonably while this frightful mess unspooled before my unbelieving eyes was that the film-makers had attempted to >. Their movie is near unwatchable- jokes and gore are merely suggested instead of shown thanks to the poor editing, the acting is horrible, the sets are supposed to look off the wall but are pretty bland, parts that are supposed to be outrageous are trite (Sex Starved Nuns? Oh, there's an original blasphemy!), and the whole thing reeks of the incompetence only A-Pix productions can put forth. Parts of it are funny, but still, you can actually smell how bad this movie is. It's mephitic stench reeks from the television screen. Horror icons Doug Bradley (Pinhead) and Englund (Freddy Kreuger) give the worst performances of their careers, and Mindy Clarke was a favorite of mine from "Return of the Living Dead part 3", but is painfully bad in this.
Unless you're a connoisseur of killer tongue movies- and, rest assured, this is the "Citizen Kane" of killer tongue movies- stay very, very far away from this movie. Rent "Death Mask" or "The Wizard of Gore", just run away from "Killer Tongue".
