- Nat: It's the system. Two years old, you stand up. Seventy years later, you fall down again.
- Nat: I was one person for the first eighty years. Why not a hundred for the next five?
- Midge: You made it up. You made it all up.
- Nat Moyer: Of course.
- Midge: Conned your own kid.
- Nat Moyer: Go back to sleep.
- Midge: That's a sin!
- Nat Moyer: I did it to save a life: mine.
- Midge: You're not a nice guy. I'm ashamed I even sung a song with you.
- Nat Moyer: You don't understand. Nursing homes were dancing in her head. Desperate measures were required.
- Nat: Hey, Rappaport! I haven't seen you in ages. How have you been?
- Midge: I'm not Rappaport.
- Nat: Rappaport, what happened to you? You used to be a short fat guy, and now you're a tall skinny guy.
- Midge: I'm not Rappaport.
- Nat: Rappaport, you used to be a young guy with a beard, and now you're an old guy with a mustache.
- Midge: I'm not Rappaport.
- Nat: Rappaport, how has this happened? You used to be a cowardly little white guy, and now you're a big imposing black guy.
- Midge: I'm not Rappaport.
- Nat: And you changed your name, too!
- Nat: Who needs sight; we have vision.
- Clara Gelber: Everybody else got a two wheeler when they turned ten, I got a paperback copy of Das Kapital.
- Nat: One more word, and I'll make a citizen's arrest for crimes against the language.
- Nat: Lies, not lies - alternatives. Sometimes the truth doesn't quite fit.
- Nat Moyer: All right, let's see now. We got three possibilities. We got, uh, exile in Great Neck, Devil's Island and kindergarten. All rejected. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm a very busy person.
- Nat Moyer: The proper response to the outrages is still be to be outraged. To be outraged!
- Clara Gelber: Forgive me, father! I'm not on the barricades anymore. I-I haven't been imprisoned for ten years, I'm obviously worthless. If you were talking to me in jail right now, you'd be overjoyed.
- Nat Moyer: Not overjoyed. Pleased maybe.
- Clara Gelber: [cracks up laughing] Why the hell I am I laughing?