- Xev Bellringer: I want to do it.
- Kai: Do what?
- Xev Bellringer: "It". I want to do "it" with you.
- Kai: I suspect you mean sex.
- Xev Bellringer: Exactly.
- Kai: My sex organ has not functioned for over two thousand years.
- Xev Bellringer: My sex organ has NEVER functioned, so we both have a lot of catching up to do!
- Kai: Xev, you are clearly desirable and beautiful, but to me, sex is just an intellectual concept.
- Xev Bellringer: I don't care if you're dead! I don't care if you can only appreciate this in your mind! I have a hyperactive libido and I need it NOW! I can't do this alone!
- Kai: I can't do it at all.
- Xev Bellringer: I hate you.
- [walks away]
- Xev Bellringer: I HATE YOU!
- Kai: I have killed mothers with their babies. I have killed great philosophers; proud young warriors and revolutionaries. I have killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak... and the beautiful.
- Bug-Bomb: Malfunction
- [falls off pipe, spins on rotary thing, bounces off wall]
- Bug-Bomb: Ow!
- [part falls off]
- Bug-Bomb: Bug-bomb lost head!
- Kai: I killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy.
- Kai: His Shadow!
- His Divine Shadow: His Divine Shadow. Yes.
- Kai: The Brunnen-G will defeat you!
- His Divine Shadow: I did not think so. The power of order has destroyed your planet. The power of order will destroy you. And you are the last of the Brunnen-G left alive.
- Kai: The Time Prophet has seen your order destroyed by the Brunnen-G.
- His Divine Shadow: The Time Prophet's vision appears to be flawed.
- [Stabs Kai in the chest with a dagger]
- His Divine Shadow: [an officer steps forward as His Shadow looks to him]
- Foreshadow Officer: We will incinerate the carcass.
- His Divine Shadow: No. This last specimen of the now extinct culture of romantic dreamers merits punishment beyond death. Transport him to the bio-scholars.
- [Prince's goons grab Stan's neck and hold him at knifepoint]
- Stanley Tweedle: That hurts!
- Prince: Does it?
- Stanley Tweedle: Yes, it does! It hurts!
- Prince: I'm very good with pain.
- Mantrid: [With a voice gradually getting higher] I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe! I destroyed a Universe!
- Xev Bellringer: And we destroyed you!
- [Squashes Mantrid under her boot]
- Robots: Hail Thodin! Winner of His Shadow's award of merit!
- [Thodin goes up to them and steals their guns, lifting the arm on one robot and the other robot lifts its own arm]
- Thodin: Good Boys.
- Robots: Hail Thodin! Winner of
- [pause]
- Robots: correction, award of merit rescinded! Thodin, Arch-Heretic and rebel, you are wanted for immediate termination!
- [lift arms, pause]
- Robots: Please return our weapons!
- [Thodin shoots and vaporizes the robots]
- Thodin: May his Shadow fall upon you.
- Kai: [insane] I killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and apparently the fun never ends!
- 790: [watching Xev sleep] On a branch there is a fruit, plump and ripe for sucking. In a bed there is a body, hot and ripe for...
- [interrupted by a broadcast]
- 790: [singing] If I only had a body, I'd get to be Xev's hunky man. If I only had a body, I'd get to pummel Stan!
- Kai: You might consider abandoning Lyekka on this planet.
- Stanley Tweedle: But I like her... when she's not hungry anyway.
- Xev Bellringer: The Brunnen-G discovered eternal life, but they all died. You were the only one to survive.
- Kai: I did not survive.
- 790: [performing a medical analysis of Stanley] There does not appear to be anything wrong with him, aside from being utterly repulsive in every way.
- Occupant: Where do you see yourself in five years time?
- Stanley Tweedle: [On Lyekka] She's quite a woman.
- Kai: Quite a plant.
- 790: Compared to Xevariffic, she's a two. A two at best!
- Kai: Are there other heretics with you?
- Zev: Lots. They are coming up here now and they are heavily armed.
- Kai: No. You are alone.
- Stanley: [falls to his knees] We worship his divine Shadow and beg his forgiveness.
- Zev: Don't Stan. Die with some dignity.
- Stanley: [Gets up] I the, arch heretic, am reformer Stanley Tweedle. And though only an assistant deputy and back up courier, I did everything I could, I really tried!
- The Lexx: I am the Lexx. I am the most powerful weapon of destruction in the two universes. I was grown on the Cluster, which is ruled by His Shadow. The food was good there. My captain is Stanley Tweedle. I blow up planets for him.
- Dr. Kazan: We were meant to be partners in greatness! Your home will be the entire universe, aboard the Lexx, with me at your side! We'll be the crew, you and me! Be bold, Zev, don't compromise yourself with sentiment! Together we can own the universe! You know this is what you want! You are one of the chosen, we both are! Seize your fate!
- Zev Bellringer: Can't we just have sex instead?
- Kai: I am Kai, last of the Brunnen-G. Millennia ago, the Brunnen-G led humanity to victory in the war against the Insect civilization. The Time Prophet predicted that I would be the one to destroy the Divine Order and the League of 20,000 Planets. Some day, that will happen... but not today, as today is my day of death. The day our story begins.
- 790: [singing] If I only had an arm, I'd be more than just a head. If I only had an arm, I would strangle Tweedle dead!
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