25 reviews
Lorenzo Lamas stars as Soldier, a police officer and former marine (I'm guessing a Grenada vet) who unleashes the fury of hell at the expense of hillbilly rednecks who for some reason kill innocent families. (We are never offered an explanation, although i'm guessing that it is because of a lack of anything to do.) For some reason I was "blessed" with receiving all three Snake Eater movies on DVD, of course when you are in a movie club, you often times get stuff you don't ask for. While I never asked for this title, I wasn't all that upset. Indeed the title is a good chuckle since it sounds more like a porn then it does an action movie. Plus the movie is utterly ridiculous, I mean this is a movie where Lamas tries to stop a gang of gun wielding psychopaths with only a hunting knife. Although he finds a gun in the water, which he stupidly lost in the first place. (Seriously you are armed to blitz a gang of mutant hillbillies and you lose your gun!) Of course the Rambo heroics are brought full circle with lame acting, over the top action and below standard production values. Was actually made for television, and although the movie is fairly stupid, there are moments of such absurdity that this could very well have been the best TV show since the A-team. Of course what we are left with in the end is yet another Lorenzo Lamas lunkhead action flick. Let it be said though this is more interesting then his other efforts. At least what I have seen. (Not much.)
* * out of 4-(Fair)
* * out of 4-(Fair)
- fmarkland32
- Jul 18, 2006
- Permalink
- tarbosh22000
- Oct 18, 2010
- Permalink
This movie's limitations in terms of acting, dialog, and plotting, are easily overcome by its consistent delivery of "entertainment value." What's more, leading man Lorenzo Lamas takes his shirt off in several scenes, baring his unshaved chest and thus significantly increasing the movie's "beefcake" factor. Curiously, there is no shot of his bare buttocks even though he strips in one scene and even though the female in this scene exposes her breasts. The only major fault in "Snake Eater" lies in its final catch-an-arsonist scene which needlessly extends the movie's running time by four or five minutes and causes it to end, disappointingly, on an anti-climactic note.
As an action film that one would pay to see in the theatres, yikes!!! This movie is incompetent on almost every level - BUT....for those of us who enjoy cheesy bad movies - this one is a winner. REAL bad acting, there is a guy who plays the "funny" sidekick cop to Larry Csonka, legendary Miami Dolphins running back, no less. And this guy's performance is so bad, so over the top, he makes the Dead End Kids look subtle. Lamas (who I'm sure is gorgeous to the gals) is one of the most "dead-eyed" actors I've ever seen. It is a simple revenge flick - where Lamas' parents are killed by crazed rednecks (plus they kidnap his sister - who gives a truly awful, amateurish performance). The dangerous psycho hillbillies have to be seen to be believed - talk about scenery chewing. Sheesh. Any film that has hillbillies torture people by putting them in big fluffy sleeping bags and hanging them from a tree - well, how can you not watch??
Now, I've seen a lot of bad movies. I like bad movies. Especially bad action movies. I've seen (and enjoyed) all of Jean-Claude Van Damme's movies, including the one where he's his own clone, both of the ones where he plays twins, and all three where he's a cyborg. I actually own the one where he plays a fashion designer and has a fight in a truck full of durians. (Hey, if nothing else, he's got a great ass and you almost always get to see it. With DVD, you can even pause and zoom in!) That's why you can trust me when I say that this movie is so bad, it makes Plan 9 look like Citizen Kane.
Everything about Snake Eater is bad. The plot is bad. The script is bad. The sets are bad. The fights are bad. The stunts are bad. The FX are bad. The acting is spectacularly, earth-time-bendingly bad, very probably showcasing the worst performance of every so-called actor in the cast, including Lorenzo Lamas, and that's really saying something. And I'd be willing to bet everyone involved with this movie is lousy in bed, to boot. ESPECIALLY Lorenzo Lamas.
It does manage to be unintentionally funny, so it's not a total loss. However, I recommend that you watch this movie only if you are either a congenital idiot or very, very stoned. I was able to sit through it myself because I needed to watch something to distract me from rinsing cat urine out of my laundry.
It didn't help much, but it was better than nothing. One point for Ron Palillo's cameo as a gay arsonist.
Everything about Snake Eater is bad. The plot is bad. The script is bad. The sets are bad. The fights are bad. The stunts are bad. The FX are bad. The acting is spectacularly, earth-time-bendingly bad, very probably showcasing the worst performance of every so-called actor in the cast, including Lorenzo Lamas, and that's really saying something. And I'd be willing to bet everyone involved with this movie is lousy in bed, to boot. ESPECIALLY Lorenzo Lamas.
It does manage to be unintentionally funny, so it's not a total loss. However, I recommend that you watch this movie only if you are either a congenital idiot or very, very stoned. I was able to sit through it myself because I needed to watch something to distract me from rinsing cat urine out of my laundry.
It didn't help much, but it was better than nothing. One point for Ron Palillo's cameo as a gay arsonist.
Words can't simply describe how awful this film is. I watched it on video last night, and I simply could not believe what I was seeing. Basically, "Snakeeater" is about an ex-military man (Lorenzo Lamas) and his search for his kidnapped sister who has been held captive by Deliverance-style Rednecks. The film's acting, writing, direction, photography, and editing are deplorable along with a song called "Soldier" that has to be one of the worst theme songs of all time!
However, there is one treat. "Horshack" (Ron Pallio) from "Welcome Back Carter" is in the film playing a laughable bad guy. Otherwise, please avoid this mess at ALL COSTS.
However, there is one treat. "Horshack" (Ron Pallio) from "Welcome Back Carter" is in the film playing a laughable bad guy. Otherwise, please avoid this mess at ALL COSTS.
Lorenzo Lamas stars as Jack `Solider` Kelly an ex-vietnam vet and a renegade cop who goes on a search and destroy mission to save his sister from backwoods rednecks. Atrocious movie is so cheaply made and so bad that Ron Palillo is third billed, and yet has 3 minutes of screen time, and even those aren't any good. Overall a terrible movie, but the scenes with Lorenzo Lamas and Josie Bell hanging from a tree bagged and gagged are worth a few (unintentional) laughs. Followed by an improved sequel.
- bronsonskull72
- Jul 6, 2003
- Permalink
- lost-in-limbo
- Feb 20, 2011
- Permalink
WOW what can i say. I like shity movies and i go out of my way to watch a corny action flick, but Snake Eater i would have rather had a nail driven into my pee hole while my grandma gave me a lap dance .Lorenzo Lamas, pfft more like Lorenzo Lameass this guy has as much acting ability as Bill Clinton has self control. It has all the goods to make a really bad movie even worse. Crazed Hillbilles YEP! needless tit shot (with a real weird scar) YEP! crappy soundtrack YEP! I wish i could give the movie -10 stars but 1 is as low as it goes. Seriously i think someone was playing a joke on me when i saw this it cant be real...... the worse thing THERE IS 2MORE SNAKE EATER MOVIES!...... guess its in demand.
the reviewers on this site who call this horrible, are wrong. One of my buds had told me about this being good so i checked it out here and all the reviews said it was bad. I was hesitant to watch it but finally did and i liked it. Most of the acting was bad and the writing wasn't perfect, but i still enjoyed it. This film is like earlier 80's films like death hunt and first blood, a veteran in the woods getting chased by a bunch of people. Lorenzo Lamas' character as Soldier is like stallone's rambo, he uses traps that he makes to defeat the rednecks which i think is an original set of villains as these movies go. Some of the film was cheesy but enjoyable. Its not perfect, but its a good film that doesn't focus on loads of violence, let me note that there was only one shoot em up action scene in this movie.
The beginning of a notoriously poor and cheap B-movie trilogy for star Lorenzo Lamas, SNAKE EATER is the pits when it comes to action. It has no money at all but it tries to deliver a tight and suspenseful scenario with plenty of gravitas and fails every time. Lamas is extraordinarily wooden as a bereaved hero who goes after a gang of kidnappers and murders hiding out in the woods. There are some cool traps at the outset and some low rent kills at the climax, but in between this is mindless stuff with little to no effort made in terms of staging or originality. The acting from the cast is abominable, and that comes from someone who's seen plenty of B-cinema.
- Leofwine_draca
- Nov 27, 2023
- Permalink
With darkness, and silence through the night.
What a thrill - I'm searching, and I'll melt into you.
What a fear in my heart... but you're so supreme!
I give my life, not for honor - but for you.
In my time, there'll be no one else.
Crime, is the way, I fly to you.
I'm still, in a dream... Snake Eater.
- akaritsuki
- Aug 12, 2019
- Permalink
Imagine this catches your attention because you're a fan of the Michael Dudikoff American Ninja movies and you think this could be right up there with those really well written & produced gems😆
But this movie promises some fancy fighting and maybe some super clever commando trickery, so you say "yeah, this could be fun", in a super low budget kind of way.
However, the only possible redemption is if you're high, with friends and you want a movie full of zero acting talent, terrible stunts, 4th grade dialogue, 3rd grade plot, stupidity that makes what you think is stupid - look good, and close-up zooms of Lorenzo Lamas' hairy stomach, to make fun of for 90 minutes.
But standby, because they made sequels!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
But this movie promises some fancy fighting and maybe some super clever commando trickery, so you say "yeah, this could be fun", in a super low budget kind of way.
However, the only possible redemption is if you're high, with friends and you want a movie full of zero acting talent, terrible stunts, 4th grade dialogue, 3rd grade plot, stupidity that makes what you think is stupid - look good, and close-up zooms of Lorenzo Lamas' hairy stomach, to make fun of for 90 minutes.
But standby, because they made sequels!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
My review was written in March 1990 after watching the movie on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.
This Canadian action pic has a delightfully tongue-in-cheek quality that should appeal to video fans. Pic had a theatrical run last May, starting in Nashville.
Lorenzo Lamas of tv's "Falcon Crest" shows big screen savvy in the title role, referring to an elite search & destroy unit that he served in during his marine tenure. (His nickname, however, is "soldier", stressed in a theme song.) He works as an undercover cop for explosive boss Larry Csonka, giving the ex-football star a nice little acting role.
When geeks resembling the cast of "Deliverance" kill Lams' parents and kidnap his sister he goes on the hunt. Helping out our hero is Ronnie Hawkins, as an aging biker, and pretty Josie Bell.
Helmer George Erschbamer gets good mileage out of the biker subculture and the film benefis from a catchy musical score (integrating steel drum motifs) by John Massari. A sequel toplining Lamas has already been lensed.
This Canadian action pic has a delightfully tongue-in-cheek quality that should appeal to video fans. Pic had a theatrical run last May, starting in Nashville.
Lorenzo Lamas of tv's "Falcon Crest" shows big screen savvy in the title role, referring to an elite search & destroy unit that he served in during his marine tenure. (His nickname, however, is "soldier", stressed in a theme song.) He works as an undercover cop for explosive boss Larry Csonka, giving the ex-football star a nice little acting role.
When geeks resembling the cast of "Deliverance" kill Lams' parents and kidnap his sister he goes on the hunt. Helping out our hero is Ronnie Hawkins, as an aging biker, and pretty Josie Bell.
Helmer George Erschbamer gets good mileage out of the biker subculture and the film benefis from a catchy musical score (integrating steel drum motifs) by John Massari. A sequel toplining Lamas has already been lensed.
Jack "Soldier" Kelly (Lorenzo Lamas) was in the Marine's Search and Destroy Special Forces known as "Snake Eaters". He's an undercover cop in a rundown city. After spiking the criminals, he is fired. Junior and his backwoods criminals kill his parents and kidnapped his sister Jennifer. Jack comes to hunt down the perpetrators and gets a motorcycle seadoo to do it.
This movie should prove that Lorenzo Lamas is a horrible actor. He's not the only one in this movie. There are some very cheesy lines that are almost funny. Everything is so bad that it borders on being a spoof. The problem is that Lamas and the gang aren't good enough to take advantage of its inherit camp. I kind of laugh at how bad this is but I don't feel good doing it.
This movie should prove that Lorenzo Lamas is a horrible actor. He's not the only one in this movie. There are some very cheesy lines that are almost funny. Everything is so bad that it borders on being a spoof. The problem is that Lamas and the gang aren't good enough to take advantage of its inherit camp. I kind of laugh at how bad this is but I don't feel good doing it.
- SnoopyStyle
- Apr 12, 2015
- Permalink
- callanvass
- Oct 1, 2005
- Permalink
This movie has some of the worst acting that I have ever seen! Some scenes are original such as the nails coming through the floor. This nail trap catches these bad guys. The rest of the movie degrades as you go. I can't believe that this movie is not even in the bottom 100 movies of all time. I also can't believe that there are sequels! The next crap movie that I want to watch is R.O.T.O.R. Could R.O.T.O.R really be much worse than this?
There is nothing at all good about the movie. The plot doesn't make sense. Not much else makes sense. Lamas' character barely manages to do anything right, and often completely blows his chances, and is only saved by the director's determination to move forward to his victory. The fight choreography is laughably weak. Every villain who dies essentially commits suicide. The gross parts just motivate you to turn off the TV. The editing is horrible. The attempts at humor are completely flat. The make up is unbelievably bad - it really looks like a bunch of frat boys dressing up on Halloween to look like hillbillies. You are never able to suspend disbelief because of the continuously horrible movie-making. I could go on and on, but this movie isn't worth the effort.
- gattonero975
- Jan 21, 2017
- Permalink
- ennisandlousylay
- Jun 27, 2014
- Permalink
- nickjones-96546
- Mar 23, 2022
- Permalink
Was it 1990 or 1991 when my uncle brought me this on vhs. It's ridiculous and plot is 80's style weak as hell. But who cares, it's fun and still entertaining piece of dry turkey. A solid 10! Watch it on youtube and you'll understand what I mean! Don't mind the negative reviews and don't overthink while watching this.
- Jaggermaster
- Feb 27, 2020
- Permalink
Jbach claims to like shitty movies but clearly he has no idea what a shitty movie is because Snake Eater is quite good compared to a lot of movies out there. Lorenzo Lamas is a pretty darn good actor, if you ever seen his series Renegade you'd agree. I gave it a 10 because its a good watch and its got good ole comedy you don't hardly see these days. You can't expect an old movie such as this to have really great acting, yeah some of it is bad but overall this is a great movie. Jback needs to refrain from being a movie critic because he clearly lacks the know how. I have yet to see the 2nd or 3rd but I am sure they will be good also.
- coffinjerker
- Jun 11, 2012
- Permalink
This is the first of three movies featuring the character Jonathan(Soldier)Kelly played to perfection by Lorenzo Lamas. There are small parts by well known people you'll enjoy finding for yourself and there are some scenes so violent that I cut them out of my copy so I could sleep at night. Watch Lorenzo sing, strip and do dead pan comedy in the opening scene and look for a special scene at the end to tie it all together. Soldier is an ex-Army Ranger who brings jungle tactics to the violence we can find in our society- this time in the search for the killers of his parents and his kidnapped sister. Some great tongue in cheek comedy lightens the load and what is a Lamas movie without a display of martial arts?
- yatahaeshadai
- Nov 11, 1999
- Permalink