User reviews

Either you love this movie, or you hate it. It depends on how you like the unique humour of the famous (or notorious) comedian and jazz-musician Helge Schneider. The story is practically nonexistent, and the whole movie seems to be made of out-takes and bloopers. The secret is that it works just like the recipe for success that brought Schneider a huge followership in German-speaking countries: "Turn Sh*t Into Gold!" This movie is made so carefully and outrageously bad that it turns out good again. Previous experience in the boundaries of the Schneider universe and excellent skills in German are a must for enjoying this little masterpiece.

either you hate or you love helge schneider. for those who like his humour, this movie is his best in my opinion. one strange gag(?) after another. what can i write about this movie? maybe that you don´t have to have a clear story, good actors or good cinematography to make people laugh!

This movie is really one of the best I´ve ever seen. Some people don´t like this movie only because it´s not like the standard Hollywood stuff... I don´t know if there´s a translation into English (I hardly believe it) but I can only recommend it!

After I had heard so much about that movie, I got me copy and watched it all through. I remember that I asked myself: "Did I miss the point? Is this supposed to be funny?" I didn't get that movie at all. However something drove me to watch the movie another 50 times and finally I think it's one of the funniest movies I ever seen. And I still have no idea why. Just phenomenal!

For 'ordinary' people not knowing Helge Schneider, this movie might be a short trip (and wasted money, too) - because the genuine weirdness of Doc Snyder, as the whole movie, is definitely not mainstream. There is no mass-compatible acting, no stunt-action, no easy-to-follow continuity... but that definitely doesn't matter - the whole experience turns out to be so absolutely weird, you can't describe that with a few words. The situations are all that make this thing different; strange places and settings perceived as perfect everyday life (like going out for dinner in a saloon that has nothing but italian food on the menu...); actions that are at least absurd (standing in a forest with a NON-cordless telephone and actually calling home!)... All these obvious "mistakes" are exaggerated to the maximum. So please do not compare Helge Schneider with Spielberg - that would be art vs. commerce.

For a short time, utter trash was pure gold in Germany: The rather unfunny german comedian Helge Schneider created several abysmal movies and songs. All of which sold fairly well for a while, then were forgotten. Thank God.

What happens? Bumbling Schneider stumbles onto the stage, does a routine comedy job (the oh-so-incompetent hero), and celebrates his lack of acting ability. If you don't laugh in the first 5 minutes of the movie, walk out. The film stays the same: one tired semi-joke after the other.

This movie is great, and it becomes greater with every time you watch it. I watched it 20 times (or more) and still discover new jokes. If you, for example, watch the scene in which Doc Snyder talks to God about Texas (handmade by God) and then causes the earthquake to kill the inhabitants of Texas (God:"Wat' machste?" Doc Snyder: "Erdbeben"). It is one of the best scenes of a movie that only has scenes other great movies have one or two of. Watch the movie, and watch it often! Some of the other comments say, if you don't like the first 20 minutes, quit. This could by right, if you are not a fan you'll hate it. But if you never watch it you can't know whether you are a fan or not. And if you are a fan, you will! watch the movie 20 times. By the way: Other Helge Schneider movies: "00-Schneider-Jagd auf Nihil Baxter"; "Praxis Dr. Hasenbein"; "Jazzclub"

This is definitively not any kind of humor. Helge takes his audience for a ride. This is absolutely and totally AWFUL! I looked only the first 30 minutes of the film. Then I stopped the DVD-Player because any further look would made me really sick. This is what a lawyer called 'battery'!

I totally understand that this movie is a "hate it or love it thing". I thought it was hilarious and i couldn't wait showing this picture to some of my friends, but some of them were close to throwing up after 5 minutes while i was rolling on the floor laughing...

Either you like this weirdo or you think he is a freak show, rate this movie 1 or 10, i watched this movie 20 times and am still laughing my a.. of!!!

P.S.: You cant argue about Helge being a genius, he is one of Germany's best jazz piano player and a multi talented musician. He is the godfather of German Comedy!!!

When I went to see this movie I had no idea who Helge Schneider was. I just strung along with a friend of mine and his girl-friend, the latter being an absolute Helge-fan.

When the movie started I was (only) slightly irritated. But that didn't stay that way. The film went on with the sickest jokes (or rather: most non-existent jokes) I have every seen. There is no story and no means forgotten to absolutely ruin the few things in the movie that may have actually turned out to be funny, like giving someone twenty German Marks in a wild-west scenario. All this made several people walk out during the movie.

But this movie was the first of a kind in my life: Never before did I actually want my money back after a film.

This is one of the funniest movies i have ever seen. Helge Schneider is surely the funniest German alive, and beside that a very talented jazz musician. But many people - as you can see in some of the other comments - do not share this opinion, because they feel that Texas is a complete mess, weird, ridicilous, silly and because they had no idea when to laugh and why. And they are completely right. This makes Monty Pythons Holy Grail look like a densely plotted, conventionel costume drama. Amazingly, Helge went on to direct and star during the following years in several much more wild, more dadaesque, yes more schneideresque movies than Texas, which was his biggest hit in Germany so far. You can enjoy all his work if you - don't try to analyze, don't search for a deeper meaning -if you love the absurd - and only if you are a native german speaker, i am sorry. Helge's art uses new words, misplaced words and sentences, new combinations of words, old words with new meanings etc., laconic slapstick and a downright funny appearance. So i am kind of a fan. And don't trust any comment that starts with:"Fans love it, anyone with brains hate it..."

First of all i have to say that i respect Helge Schneider for doing such crap, but i cant understand how someone can find anything interesting or funny about this movie without using drugs to be open minded enough (if you know what i mean).

And if i see which people like this film i am damn right with my opinion. Helge Schneider knows how to handle a very special kind of audience which is a lot to special for me.

Texas is the try to put in the plot which doesn't even really exist into a Western world where Doc Snyder is doing dull things with dull people. Wasn't able to find even one bit to laugh about but got headaches watching this.

I endured twenty full minutes of this movie and they were the most wasted minutes of my life. There must be quite a number of candidates for worst movie of all ages, but this one will surely be among the Top Ten. I won't waste your time (and mine) by criticizing this botch. And don't tell me that in the later half the movie might get better and there may be great scenes of moving drama or hard-packed action that I missed. After what I saw of the beginning I am convinced there are none. Some unsuccessful movies still have a certain charm. This one has not. Some are ahead of their times and get better appreciated in the future. This one will not. Don't waste any time with this crap. If you watch "High Noon" for the twentieth time or "The Searchers" for the fortieth you will be infinitely more rewarded and entertained.

To describe this film: it´s like Monty Python meets Titanic. But: There is less humor than in Titanic and also less story (and with less logic connection) than in Meaning of Life. If you don´t believe me I would say watch it yourself, but I really hope no one outside of Germany will ever see this film. I voted 1 (just because there is no 0)