Grumpy Old Men (1993)

Burgess Meredith: Grandpa Gustafson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grandpa Gustafson : Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist.

• John Gustafson : You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes.

  Grandpa Gustafson : I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care?

• Grandpa Gustafson : [after a swig of an alcoholic beverage]  Breakfast.

• Grandpa Gustafson : [speaking of Ariel]  Did you mount her?

  John Gustafson : [disgusted]  Oh, *Dad*!

  Grandpa Gustafson : Wait, wait. Has she got big thighs?

  John Gustafson : [thinking]  No.

  Grandpa Gustafson : No? Then what's the problem? If I was a young fella like you, I'd be mounting - every woman in Wabasha.

• Grandpa Gustafson : Then one day you wake up and you realize that you're not 81 any more. And then you begin to count the minutes rather than the days. And you realize that pretty soon, you'll be gone. And that all you have, see, is the experiences. That's all there is, John, everything. The experiences... You mount that woman, son... or else, send her out to me, huh?

• Grandpa Gustafson : Kids; Can't live with them, can't shoot them.

• Grandpa Gustafson : Drop that fish!

• John Gustafson : I've had a lot on my mind lately.

  Grandpa Gustafson : I'll tell you what's on my mind. It's butt-cold out here and I'm fresh out of beer.