The main thing this movie has going for it is that it features nearly the entire returning cast of the MST3K classic 'Soultaker' though they apparently blew their entire Joe Estevez budget on Bo Hopkins (playing the exact same small-town hick sheriff he always plays) and... holy crap, is that Mickie Rooney?!? Dear god man, why? Who did you owe money to?
Anyways, I really hope this one gets picked up for a future season of MST3K, since it's got that perfect mix of competence/incompetence where the acting is terrible, the dialogue is clunky and most of the smaller parts are obviously just the director's friends or members of the crew, but not so terrible that the movie becomes completely unwatchable. You could tell they were striving for humor and wacky adventure and wonder... but fell short of every single goal.
The plot is basically "what if we ripped off 'Home Alone' and 'The Wizard' but set it out in the woods where we could film without a permit?" A series of escaped cons decide to steal an idling car without checking the back seat for three kids first, then proceed to lose kids, car, and the money they stole in that order. The kids themselves are *gratuitously* 90's and spend most of the film bickering, humiliating Robert Z'Dar, and recklessly endangering themselves (One of them fails so hard at sitting on a log that he somehow ends up falling backwards and rolling all the way into an entirely different biome so that he can dangling off a cliff), only to be occasionally rescued from their own stupidity by a (I suspect) not actually real Native American spirit guardian who was a man... who came back as wolf... but who occasionally has the ability to shapeshift back into a man.
Being a wolf spirit tasked with defending a specific mountain from the forces of evil may sound like a pretty cool gig, and one that would probably allow you plenty of free time, but it appears that if you have a choice between coming back as a wolf spirit or a human spirit, there is *ZERO* advantage to being a wolf since you immediately lose your ability to see over barriers higher than 2 feet and opposable thumbs.
If there's one message to take home from this movie it's that wolves, it turns out, completely suck, and they should totally change the name to Human Mountain.
