Ralph Foody: Gangster
Photos
Quotes
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Gangster : [on a video playing on a TV in another room] You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Concierge : [hesitates and unaware he's listening to a video] ... Yes, sir. I was.
[nods]
Gangster : [sternly] You was here, and you was smoochin' with my brother!
Concierge : [scoffs, grins in embarrassment and half laughs] I'm-I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.
Gangster : Don't gimme that! You've been smoochin' with everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff.
[the Concierge is shocked and confused by this accusation. Coincidentally, one of the other staff members happens to be called Cliff, it says so on his name badge. He gasps and the others look at him in disbelief, shocked]
Cliff : [looks alarmed and panics] No... it's a lie!
Gangster : I could go on forever, baby!
Concierge : [half laughing] I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. We're looking for a young man.
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Gangster Johnny on TV : Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe ya. That's why I'm gonna let ya go. I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass OUT my door! 1... 2...
[Fires Tommy gun, killing girl gangster, and laughing insanely]
Gangster Johnny on TV : 3. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
[fires repeatedly again]
Gangster Johnny on TV : And a Happy New Year.
[Fires one last shot]
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Gangster : [on a video playing on a TV in another room] All right. I believe ya... but my Tommy gun don't! Get down on your knees and tell me you love me!
Concierge : [to the others] On your knees.
[they get down on their knees. The Concierge is so embarrassed it takes him a few moments to summon up the nerve to say the words]
Concierge : [with all the enthusiasm he can muster] I love you!
[in the other room, Kevin snickers and hits the play button again]
Gangster : You gotta do better than that!
Concierge , Bellman , Desk Clerk , Cliff , Security Guard : [chorusing] I love you!
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[Kevin is watching a video of an old gangster movie]
Gangster : [on TV] You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Dame : [on TV] I was singing at the Blue Monkey last night.
Kevin McCallister : She was not, she was smooching with your brother.
Gangster : You was here. And you was smoochin' with my brother!
Kevin McCallister : See?
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Gangster : [on a video playing on a TV in another room in Kevin's hotel suite] I'm going to give you to the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass out my door!
[unaware they're only listening to a video and that Kevin has been pausing out the other character's lines, the terrified Concierge and his little group of staff run to the door in a panic]
Gangster : One... two...
[the gangster opens fire with his Tommy gun, blasting out dozens of rounds and laughs madly. The Concierge and the others jump out of Kevin's room and take cover, face down, on the floor in the corridor. Other hotel guests step out of their rooms, wondering what's going on]
Gangster : Three. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
[watching, Kevin mouths the gangster's words. The gangster fires another salvo of bullets]
Gangster : And a Happy New Year.
[the gangster fires one last bullet]
Concierge : [crawling across the floor like a seal] Stay in your rooms! This is an emergency! There's an insane guest with a gun!
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[the Concierge is after Kevin. As he enters Kevin's suite with a group of hotel staff, Kevin switches on the bedroom TV and plays a video of an old gangster movie]
Gangster : Hold it right there!
[unaware it's only a video, the Concierge and the others stop right in their tracks]
Concierge : [sternly] This is the concierge, sir.
Gangster : I knew it was you. I could smell ya getting off the elevator!
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[video 'Angels with Even Filthier Souls']
Gangster : Hold it right there.
Dame : It's me, Johnny.
Gangster : I knew it was you. I could smell you gettin' off the elevator.
Dame : It's gardenias, Johnny. Your favorite.
Gangster : You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Dame : I was singin' at the Blue Monkey last night.
Gangster : You was here... and you was smoochin' with my brother!
Dame : That's a dirty rotten lie, Johnny!
Gangster : Don't give me that! You've been smoochin' with everybody: Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff. I could go on forever, baby!
Dame : You got me all wrong, Johnny.
Gangster : All right. I believe you. But my Tommy Gun don't!
[pulls out a machine gun and points it at the Dame]
Dame : Johnny! You're the only duck in my pond!
Gangster : Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
Dame : [kneels in front of Johnny] Baby! I'm over the moon for you!
Gangster : You gotta do better than that!
Dame : If my love was an ocean, Lindy's have to take two airplanes to get across it.
Gangster : [hesitates] Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe you. That's why I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna give you 'till the count of three to get your lousy, lyin', lowdown, four-flushing carcass out my door!
[Dame jumps up and nervously backs away from Johnny]
Gangster : One... two...
[Johnny opens fire on the Dame, laughing maniacally]
Gangster : ... three. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!
[fires more bullets into the Dame]
Gangster : And a happy new year.
[fires a single bullet]