Plot

A man is hired to run a bank which turns out to be a sperm bank.

A vice president at Trans Global Conglomerate (TGC) has a nervous breakdown and is committed to the National Psychiatric Institute (NPI). TGC chairman J. F. Hughes (Matt Clark) meets with Zach Shepard (Corbin Bernsen), a mid-level manager who has worked at the company for 12 years. Hughes sends Zach to one of their subsidiaries, a failing bank in Hobart, Oregon, and declares that if Zach turns a profit in six months, he will be promoted to vice president. If Zach fails, he will be fired.

As he drives to Hobart, Zach picks up hitchhiker Newton Patterson (Larry Miller), a happy-go-lucky man who claims to be wealthy. Newton admits he "escaped" from NPI and asks Zach to keep his secret. Zach drops Newton off at his large home, then goes to First Family Bank, and is surprised to discover it is a sperm bank. He and the bio-genetic counselor, Dr. Grace Murdock (Shelley Long), get off to a difficult start. She manages everything at the bank, and when Zach examines the books, he declares she does not understand how to run a profitable business. She insists the sperm bank exists solely to help the community, but Zach is determined to make a profit.

That evening, Grace complains to her brother, Bobby (John Mallory Asher), and her penny-pinching boyfriend, Lewis Crandall (Gerrit Graham), about her new supervisor. Zach checks into the only hotel in the small town and discovers it is a bordello. When Newton Patterson telephones and invites him to dinner, Zach quickly accepts and meets Newton's mother (Dody Goodman). She talks of the world leaders Newton advises, but Zach believes she is joking. He accepts their invitation to stay with them instead of the hotel, and discreetly attempts to give Mrs. Patterson money, but she insists that Newton is rich. Zach admits he knows Newton escaped from NPI, and she asks him to keep it secret.

That night, Zach sleeps on a twin bed in Newton's room, and Newton admits he has never had a girl friend and is afraid to ask for a date. To give Newton a sense of purpose, Zach offers him a job at the bank. Newton accepts, and Grace finds him vacuuming the floor in the morning. Newton happily reminisces about when he and Grace were school classmates, although she cannot remember him.

Later, Sid Singer, a sperm broker, contacts Zach. All of Sid's suppliers are in bankruptcy proceedings and he needs 5,000 vials of sperm in eight weeks. Zach negotiates a six-figure deal and rushes to tell Grace the good news. She explains that not every donation is usable, so they will need thousands of donors to fill the order, and the sperm bank does not have the money to pay donors. Zach comes up with an idea for a "Stud of the Year" contest in which men will freely donate sperm and the man with the highest sperm count will win $100,000. Grace believes the company's assets are a gift from God to help people with infertility issues, and refuses to participate. Zach admits he needs her and notes that he will be transferred if the bank becomes a success, and she will again be in charge. She reluctantly signs on, and Zach hosts a show, complete with musical numbers, to announce the contest. He advises the men to abstain from sex and alcohol to improve their sperm count, and declares the deposits will start in four weeks.

At the sperm bank, Newton accidentally locks Grace and Zach in the freezer. They hug to share body heat, and start to warm up to each other. When Newton opens the door, they awkwardly break apart and return to work.

Lewis Crandall is upset about the contest and wants Grace to get a "normal job." She is passionate about her work, and realizes that Lewis does not understand her. Later, Mrs. Patterson works at the reception desk as men line up around the block to make donations. Zach worries that the line is not moving fast enough to make the delivery schedule, and Newton suggests remodeling the building to maximize the space with more cubicles.

The men's wives picket out front, protesting that the men are abstaining from sex. When the bordello Madam Gloria (Gloria Camden) protests that her "girls" will become homeless because no one is hiring them, Newton suggests using the prostitutes as "nurses." The remodeled building and the attractive nurses effectively accelerate the donation process.

Zach asks to meet Grace at her home to discuss paperwork. The prostitutes notice that Grace likes Zach and give her makeover advice. When Zach arrives at her house, Grace looks softer and more attractive. He brings champagne to celebrate their growing profits. They get drunk, and Grace admits she wants to make love to Zach. They go to her bedroom, but she passes out. In the morning, she thinks they made love and wishes she remembered the encounter. He lies and claims they had incredible sex. She is thrilled and they kiss.

That morning, Lewis Crandall unexpectedly proposes to Grace, but she admits having second thoughts and breaks off their relationship. Zach and Grace go on a picnic and make love. She asks him to shut down the contest, insisting it is making the townspeople crazy. He refuses and she is disappointed to realize he only cares about his promotion. When she claims that he got her drunk to take advantage of her, he admits that nothing happened. She is upset, insisting she would not have made love to him that afternoon if he had not tricked her.

When Zach arrives at work the next day, Grace has chained herself to the doors so no one can get inside. He calls police, who remove the doors with Grace attached. That evening, Newton goes to a local bar and learns business is slow because men are avoiding women and alcohol. The bar is filled with women, who go crazy for Newton.

The following week, Zach drives the sperm bank's refrigerated truck to Sid's office and successfully makes the delivery. He is transferred back to corporate headquarters and asks Newton to join him at the company, noting there is probably an opening in the mail room. Hughes congratulates Zach on his success and announces his plans to close the sperm bank in Oregon, and bring the concept to Los Angeles with Zach in charge. Hughes loves the idea of getting donations for nothing, but Zach reminds him that the company owes the winner $100,000. Hughes refuses to pay, and shuts down the sperm bank, citing bankruptcy. The Hobart townspeople are infuriated, and believe that Zach schemed to cheat them, and Grace knew about it. Upset at Hughes's duplicity, Zach steals the sperm from Singer's building and drives the refrigerated truck back to Hobart.

Meanwhile, Newton sneaks into Hughes's office and regales the executive with tales of his many business negotiations. Their meeting is interrupted when Sid Singer calls to complain about Zach's theft. When Newton tells Hughes to pay the $100,000, Hughes calls him crazy.

In Hobart, Grace addresses the townspeople at the town picnic, and tries to calm everyone. Zach drives up across the lake, but there is no ferry to transport the truck. As police arrive to arrest him, he releases the brakes and sends it into the water. Zach swims across the lake, and apologizes to everyone. Some people remain upset, while others defend him. As he walks away, Grace runs after him, and they kiss. Newton arrives and hands Grace a $1 million check for the town. The corporate check is from NPI, a different NPI which stands for Newton Patterson Industries, not the National Psychiatric Institute as Zach believed, and they realize Newton was not lying about being a billionaire. Zach is embarrassed that he made Newton his assistant at the sperm bank, but Newton declares that is how he knew he could trust Zach. He reveals that he bought TGC from Hughes and wants to promote Zach to president.

In the final scene, set 15 months later, Grace and Zach push a stroller carrying their four babies, and Grace informs Zach she is pregnant again.