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Critical Condition (1987) Poster

(1987)

Richard Pryor: Eddie, Kevin

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Photos 

Richard Pryor, Rachel Ticotin, and Randall 'Tex' Cobb in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor and Garrett Morris in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor and Rubén Blades in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor and Rachel Ticotin in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor and Rubén Blades in Critical Condition (1987) Michael Apted, Richard Pryor, and Rubén Blades in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor in Critical Condition (1987) Richard Pryor, Bob Dishy, and Bob Saget in Critical Condition (1987)

Quotes 

  • [last lines] 

    Kevin : Eight hours ago I was lunatic at the state asylum. Right? Now I gotta a yacht, I met a nice lady. I'm proud to be an American.

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  My up-and-down stick? What are you talking about, my dick?

  • Nurse Maggie Lesser : Dr. Slattery.

    Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Yes. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to pee. I don't need a second opinion for that too. I know how to hold it and everything. Do I need a second opinion for that?

    Dr. Foster : No.

    [to the nurse] 

    Dr. Foster : He doesn't need a second opinion.

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  You're suffering from a severe cause of full-of-shitness.

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  You haven't examined this patient yet and you have magic hands, Dr. Joffe? These are magic hands? What are you going to do with these magic hands?

    Dr. Joffe : I think I have to wash them, sir. Because, they were just up Mrs. Nussbaum's magic butt.

  • Kevin : This is my first offense. Couldn't you get me probation or something? Look, I'll do social work. Hey, how about this? I'll cook for runaway teenage girls.

  • Kevin : To tell you the truth, I'm so tense right now you could open a beer bottle cap from my asshole. I mean, I am talking tense. I'm talking tense.

  • Palazzi : Lennihan, I got some advice for you. *Don't* be a jerk-off.

    Kevin : Well, I *am* a jerk-off.

  • Kevin : I thought this guy was a blind pervert! I didn't know he was a cop.

  • Kevin : I tell you one thing, the bank didn't have dildos laying around the desks.

  • Kevin : I don't think she bought it.

    Louis : I thought we had her this time. This lady is tough! She's seen a lot of scams, you now. So, we have to invent a new approach to insanity.

    Kevin : What are talking about inventing a new approach? Man, I was in there trying to wank off. I believe she was wanking off, too.

  • Box : Shit, man, they ain't gonna let you stay. They won't let me go!

    Kevin : Box, don't worry about it. They're going to let you out of here sooner or later. I mean, you still think you're a black man, right?

    Box : Say get down, blood.

  • Dr. Foster : Who are you?

    Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Dr. Slattery. Who are you?

    Dr. Foster : Dr. Foster.

    Kevin : Doctor, we got the same first name.

  • Dr. Foster : What kind of gypsy doctor are you?

    Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Wait a minute, is that a formal accusation or libelous hearsay? Because I'm an Emergency Room Doctor, I have a lawyer on call 24 hours a day to take care of nitwits like you! You'll be on your ass like white on rice.

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Have you tried prune juice?

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  I won't take no jaw-jacking

  • Kevin : [singing while pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  The junkies on the go, The junkies on the go, Hi-ho, the methadone, The junkies on the go...

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Did you just experience a sharp pain?

    Helicopter Junkie : No, I just experienced a blow job. What the hell do you think, man?

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  It's a baby boy. Look at the nuts on your baby!

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Cough!

    Helicopter Junkie : [Dr. Joffe checking him for a hernia]  I am coughing, man. I'll cough up a fucking lung if this guy will let go my balls.

    Kevin : Harder!

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  She's having a baby?

    Maternity Nurse : Yes. It come out like a gum ball.

  • Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  You're a penis-head, you know that?

    Dr. Foster : What?

    Kevin : We're doctors! People come to us for help and they say, "Doctor, help me, please," and we help them. That's power. And you let your lawyers scare you out of that? Dammit, man, we got the greatest jobs in the world. We can park anywhere we want! Driveways, loading zones. No tickets.

  • Kevin : Think about where you would have been tonight without me. Okay? Think about it.

    Rachel Atwood : That's right. You made me believe that anything is possible.

    Kevin : You'd have fallen flat on your fuckin' face if it wasn't for me. And now you're giving me a bunch of shit! I don't deserve this shit!

  • Rachel Atwood : You act as if you've never seen one before.

    Kevin : [pretending to be Dr. Slattery]  Oh, I've seen 'em. Every time I - deliver a baby, it's - it's like the first time. It's a baby.

  • Kevin : I wish I could be who you wanted me to be, but I'm not.

    Rachel Atwood : Well, I think that you might be.

  • Stucky : You fucking wimpo doctor!

    Kevin : I am not a doctor!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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