User reviews

You'd think with a name like 'Woodchipper Massacre', you were in for some really cheap video nasty. Well, it is cheap, but I don't know about how nasty it is. There's about as much sadism and gore in the film as there was in Weekend at Bernie's..

I somewhat get the feeling that the title was foisted by the distribution company who released this thing on VHS..

It ended up reminding me more of something John Hughes would have made if he'd only had a budget of 400 dollars, could only get amateur actors, and had decided on a somewhat darker plot than in the films he did become famous for making. It's three kids, each a funny kid stereotype, whose parents aren't around that week, finding themselves committing woodchipper misdeeds.

And despite the amateurish execution, it's all pretty fun and funny.

I didn't know what to expect other than a killer killing people with a wood chipper. The story was funny and predictable but entertaining overall.

This movie was shot on video in 1988 as Jon McBrides second feature. Shot on a Panasonic AG-450 S-VHS camcorder, and using local actors, friends and family Jon made a masterpiece. Well written and scored by Jon, the video was edited and distributed nationally in 1989. I rented this movie in the early 90's and it inspired me to take my hobby of video and take it another level. When I realized that anyone with the talent and ambition could actually make a movie and have it out there for millions to see I pursued television. Jon went on to make many other movies and appear in several other TV shows, Soaps, and even a Michael Jackson video! Little Tommy grew up to be an Emmy award winning writer for daytime drama. Jon had a good eye for talent. Most recently, WOODCHIPER MASSACRE was featured on the national syndicated show, "Videobob's Stupid Movie of the Week". The was a hit and one of the best ratings grabber for the show. - VB

I've never actually seen this film but can tell you one thing about its production. While a comedy/oldies radio DJ in 1988, I got a call from the production company. They asked if I'd write and record a bit they'd drop into the soundtrack as sounds eminating from a TV (the television screen itself would never be shown). I said sure, wrote a parody of '50s sci-fi monster clichés, rounded up some sound effects and called in another DJ, Pam Landry, to play the female part. As she happened to be on the air at the time, she put on a long song, joined me at the mike in the production room and we cut the voicetrack in a single take. Giggling, she then went back to her show while I mixed in the goofy sound effects. We'd have never done it if we'd known that "Woodchipper Massacre" was going to be such a turkey -- but, then again, we never got paid for our efforts, either! -- Gary Theroux

What a HUGE pile of dung. Shot-on-video (REALLY crappy camcorder, NOT digital) pile of garbage. It is without a doubt, the stupidest thing ever made. The fact that this crap was actually released is completely asanine. Everyone who sees it will become stupider for having watched it. Seriously. I felt like it killed several brain cells after I watched this garbage. The positive reviews of this a$$crap were obviously made by the "filmmaker" (and I use the term VERY loosely) himself and/or his family and friends because no normal person with the intelligence of a squirrel would honestly like this waste of life. Trust me, stay the hell away from this video. You'll thank me for it. Avoid it like herpes.

Another amateurish late '80s SOV horror film filmed in rural Connecticut. It's essentially a sitcom with a horror-themed plot. Three kids are left at home when their father goes on a business trip out of state and leaves them in the care of their vile, abusive aunt (played by writer-director Jon McBride's mother), when she is accidentally killed, the kids dispose of her body via a woodchipper and then have to deal with the aunt's deadbeat son who comes for a visit. Okay for its weird theme, but nothing really special.

Definitely one of the best shot-on-video movies to come out of the Northeast in the late 80's. Tom Casiello's air guitar scene makes this movie worth renting alone.

I liked this movie. It was entertaining and I thought it was funny. Not much gore but still if you have an imagination then use it. The lady that played Aunt Tess gets the bitch of the year award. The teenage girl is a total airhead and the little boy is a cute dork who tries very hard to be professional and not laugh during a few scenes. I have seen a lot of crap and I must say that this movie is a gem compared to some movies I have scene. This is not the worst movie ever made. If you want that one then rent AXE EM! Even MONSTURD is better than AXE EM! If you are the kind of person who often picks up crappy movies and endures them, then you will find this one to be a real treat, a breath of fresh air if you will.

Why this movie is the best five bucks Ive spent in years!

I say it is a keeper!

I love retro 80's shockers that were shot on video. This falls into this category. Extremely cheap with horrible direction and even worse acting, with an outrageous plot, this is a very entertaining bad movie fun fest. The main problem for me with this movie was every actor has a very annoying voice...especially that girl, she is always whining. If you can get passed their annoying voices, you'll laugh your butt off. Although, don't expect much gore...it is not a horror movie, really ,but more of a comedy. The movie is about some kids who are alone for the weekend, well, not alone, they have their babysitting annoying aunt watching them. When their aunt dies in a complete "accident" they must dispose of the body in any wayy possible, in the most original disposing of a body ever, that even CSI won't touch! Also, one of the best taglines ever...Watch this if you want to see a realllly bad movie.

This pile of sh!t is tied in my book as the worst thing ever made. I can't BELIEVE that someone actually relased this CRAP, let alone acually MADE it. HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE. Not even worth mentioning the damn story or any details about it. THAT's how bad it actually is. Avoid it like SARS!

Jon McBride may not have money, but damn can he make an entertaining film! WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE is a lot of fun! This film is full of hilarious dialogue and characters. It's one of the most macabre and original premises for a film I can think of. This isn't exactly a horror film. It isn't exactly anything, though I suppose some may describe it as a black comedy.

It's pretty much about these kids whose relative comes over to take care of them. She turns out to be rather cruel to them and they end up accidentally murdering her, and they have to dispose of her body in the woodchipper. Afterward, a related family member of her shows up and the craziness really picks up! Keep in mind that this is not a good film by any means. It's poorly acted, poorly lit, and very poorly shot. However, it is also self-conscience of all this and, rather then drift into camp territory, it goes all the way. This may be bad, but at least it's good natured and at least it's funny. It's also never boring. If you want to watch a really entertaining film, I recommend you check this out!

I have to be brutally honest and say that I had absolutely zero expectations to this movie as I sat down to watch it here in 2024. I happened to stumble upon the movie by random chance, and given my love of the horror genre, of course I opted to give the movie a chance.

And just as expected, then writers Jon McBride and Glen Skaggs didn't deliver anything grand or even particularly enjoyable. This movie was a massive swing and a miss, and it looked and felt like nothing more than a homemade video project of a highschool student making a movie for class.

Needless to say that I was not familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. The acting performances were wooden, rigid and felt rather forced, as if the actors and actresses were just reading the lines straight from cue cards.

The quality of the movie was something that looked like it was taken straight from a home video recording from the 1980s. I suppose it added to the cheesy 1988 atmosphere of the movie.

Truth be told, I couldn't make it through even half of the movie before I gave up on the ordeal. It just simply was a dumpster fire of a movie. And trust me, I am never returning to attempt finish watching this rubbish. If you enjoy horror movies, then don't waste 80 minutes on this stinker. Not even the 1988s cheese could lift up this movie.

My rating of "Woodchipper Massacre" lands on a generous one out of ten stars.

We don't need to have seen Fargo to know that dumping a body in a wood chipper ain't a pretty sight. Soooo.... Woodchipper MASSACRE? That's gotta be some seriously stomach-churning splattery horror goodness, right?

Well, no actually, because this regional effort, shot entirely on video (the old, grainy type), isn't really a horror, but more of a dark comedy. And besides, the virtually non-existent budget was clearly blown on renting the titular heavy machinery, leaving nothing in the coffers for special effects.

It's a shame, because a wood chipper would be a cool machine to feature in a horror flick, allowing for some truly grisly sights as it noisily tears its way through anything pushed into its metal maw. That said, the chipper is nowhere near as harsh on the ears as the cast of this VHS trash, who bellow their lines at top volume even when the titular machine isn't running. Shrieking every line of dialogue at the top of her voice is Denice Edeal, who plays one of three siblings who decide to take drastic measures after they accidentally kill their Aunt Tess, played by Patricia McBride (who also has no volume control).

No less irritating are director Jon McBride and Tom Casiello as Denice's brothers Jon and Tom (imaginative names, huh?), and Kim Bailey as nasty Cousin Kim, who are so wooden that there's really only one place they should end up; sadly, only Kim gets fed into the chipper. To be honest, apart from the kids' father (Perren Page), there's not one character in this film I didn't want to see reduced to red mulch.

1.5/10, rounded down to 1 for the terrible picture and sound quality, the horrible Bontempi organ music, Tom's dreadful air guitar, the nasty pullovers, and the mullets.

"Woodchipper Massacre" is a classic example of a movie where one will be conditioned to expect certain things given the title, and director Jon McBrides' track record. But it's not an over the top splatterfest with a high body count. McBride, approaching the material like a sitcom, instead makes it a nearly bloodless dark comedy.

Three children: Jon (played by the writer / director), Denice (Denice Edeal), and Tom (Tom Casiello) have their Aunt Tess (Patricia McBride) forced on them when their dad (Perren Page) goes out of town on a business trip. She's a grumpy, moralizing holier than thou type, and is pretty insufferable. When she accidentally dies, the kids realize that the means of covering their asses is within reach...

It's understandable if you initially feel frustrated with this one, and think you were suckered in by false advertising. But if you are able to finally appreciate the movie for what it is, and not fret over what it isn't, it does provide some fairly amusing entertainment. The filmmaking is actually not that bad for a micro budget "shot on video" effort, although the music score is so godawful that it's a gas. The performances are hilariously absurd, although these characters do grow on you after a while. The scenario eventually turns into a time honored "beat the clock" sort of deal, as you wonder if the kids will be able to cover up their assorted crimes before Dad can return home early from his trip.

Decent entertainment with some blackly humorous moments.

Six out of 10.

I'm pretty sure this cost $17.96 to make with a pawn shop camcorder... and I'm all for it. You can tell that everyone is having a blast and not taking anything seriously. The kids' intentional overacting and delivery are hilarious. Yes, it's Z grade schlock, but it's the most fun I've had watching a movie in awhile.

Tommie Casiello is the most fantastic actor I've ever seen. He has so much talent. What a guy. Without Tommie this film would have been complete garbage. Most horror films are but with this outstanding young actor it is a masterpiece. What theatrics and wonderful effects. Thank you Tommie for helping create one of life's wonderful evenings of entertainment. You are as sweet as a piece of banana cream pie.

Oh my god!! I'm a firm believer that bad movies can be good fun, but this is awful. The Woodchipper Massacre brings the horror film to a new low. There is not a doubt in my mind that this is one of the worst pieces of crap ever filmed. The acting, the music, the sweaters...I can't even describe it. It's obvious that it's just a couple of kids messing around with a home video recorder and thought they'd make a movie. I don't think you can really call it a movie though. The Woodchipper Massacre is a disgrace to B-movies everywhere. It's easily worse than Bloody Murder, and that's saying a lot. How this got distributed I'll never know. This is a major candidate for the title "worst movie ever made." It definitely gets my seal of approval.

This movie is.entertaining and a perfect example of " so bad it's good". It is certainly worth watching on sites like Youtube or Dailymotion. It's not that bad for only being made for $400.

Mr. Casiello's performance as victim #4 was stunning. His smile as he was being stabbed can only be compared to that of the popular AMC actor, Forbes March. Mr. Casiello is indeed an up and comer. His appearance was brief and will make everyone forget March. Mr. Casiello brings a style to the genre that can only be described as unique. I look forward to his next project.