- Grandpa Munster: [adressing the Cave Girl Robot] Excuse me, my dear, could I interest you in a little bite?
- Herman Munster: Grandpa, she's only a robot. That woman can not talk.
- Grandpa Munster: I know... those are the best kind.
- Eddie Munster: Let me take a picture so I can show the guys in the Bat 'n Ball club just how famous my family really is.
- Grandpa Munster: Bat club? Hey, Eddie, you could get into that kind of a club on my name alone!
- Eddie Munster: Well, I don't know, Grandpa, they don't take just anybody.
- Herman Munster: Eddie, we're just not anybody, son.
- Grandpa Munster: That's right, Eddie, your fathers a little bit of everybody and your grandpa has got some of the best blood in Europe flowing through them veins...
- The Raven: Eleven O'Clock and all is well... but what do I know?
- Lily Munster: I just talked to aunt Elvira. She's flying in from Salem... for the Halloween holiday.
- Phantom of the Opera: You'll see, when I attain superstardom, it will be because of this magnificent voice, not because I'm just another pretty face.
- The Boy: I'll never forget it, that face... there was blood dripping from the fangs.
- Grandpa Munster: That's impossible! I've been on the wagon for over a year.
- Herman Munster: That's right, you can ask 'em down at the B.S.A.
- Chief Boyle: The Boy Scouts of America?
- Grandpa Munster: Blood Suckers Annonymous.
- Grandpa Munster: [locked in a jail cell] Herman, I have slept in just about every closet and coffin in the world, but this place give me crosstophobia!
- Grandpa Munster: You hear that, Herman, hm? The pride of Transylvania treated like a common criminal. Heh, Well, I'll tell ya, that's enough to drive a man to drink! Hm. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a nice Bloody Mary. Or Dorothy or Emily.
- [cackles]
- Herman Munster: [disguised as a waitress] I hope nobody gets fresh. You know how hard it is for me to say no.
- Herman Munster: I don't wanna hear one more word about food until I'm being fed!
- Grandpa Munster: [Grandpa sees a great amount of money being passed from one person to another] Holy Transylvania, look at that lettuce!
- Herman Munster: What?
- Grandpa Munster: What a load of cabbage!
- Herman Munster: Cabbage?
- Grandpa Munster: I've never seen so much bread!
- Herman Munster: Lettuce, cabbage, bread, Grandpa, you've got a mean streak in you!
- Glen: [about Herman and Grandpa] I have to take them in... to, eh jail.
- Marilyn Munster: And let them get brutalized?
- Glen: Nobody's gonna brutalize them.
- Herman Munster: [disguised as a waitress] Are my seams straight?
- Grandpa Munster: [also in disguise] They are... Unfortunately, your legs are crooked.
- Grandpa Munster: [disguised as a waitress] We're new here.
- Slim: She hasn't been new anywhere in years!
- Dr. Diablo: Now, gentlemen, as you know, the National Gallery has been kind enought to make a little celebration for us on Halloween and I have a little surprise for them, that's gonna make all you gentlemen, and especially me, very rich.
- Grandpa Munster: [trying out his live giving potion on Igor] Here goes nothing!
- Herman Munster: Cross your fingers...
- Grandpa Munster: Please. No crosses!
- Dr. Diablo: I'm gonna throw a party, I mean the party of all party. I mean it's gonna be a party that even Nero and Caligula would be jealous of.
- Dr. Diablo: A man in his lifetime has only one night like this! I'll have nothing interfere with mine.
- The Raven: Ten O'Clock and boy, is this a dull party!
- Phantom of the Opera: [singing] Deck the halls with strings of garlic, falalala lalalala. Arsenic eggnogs make us frolic, falalala lalala laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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