Brian Glover: Chess Player
Photos
Quotes
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Chess Player : There was this airplane over the Atlantic on its way to New York. It was full of men from the United Nations. So halfway over the ocean the engines run low on petrol so they have to lighten the plane. So they heave out all the baggage, but it's still too heavy. So they chuck out the seats, but it's still too heavy! Finally this Froggy steps up and shouts "Viva la France" and leaps out. Then an Englishman steps up and shouts 'God save the Queen!' and leaps out. But the plane is still too heavy. So the Yank delegate from Texas steps up, shouts, 'Remember the Alamo!' and chucks out the Mexican.
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Dart Player : Go. Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.
David : Yeah. Thank you.
Chess Player : Beware the moon, lads.
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Dart Player : [to Dr. Hirsch] He'll change, He'll...
Chess Player : THAT'S ENOUGH!... That's enough.
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Jack : Remember the Alamo.
Barmaid : I beg your pardon?
David : Oh, he was just joking.
Barmaid : Joking? I remember the Alamo. I saw it once in London... in Leicester Square.
Chess Player : She means in the Cinema--that film with John Wayne.
Jack : Right, with Laurence Harvey. Everyone died in it. Very bloody.
Chess Player : Bloody awful, if you ask me.
[he and the bar patrons laugh uproariously]
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Jack : [as everyone in the pub is laughing] Excuse me, but what's that star on the wall for?
[the dart player misses the board everyone grows silent]
Dart Player : [pointing his finger at Jack] You made me miss.
Jack : Sorry.
Dart Player : I've never missed that board before.
David : Uh, Jack, we'd better go.
Jack : Are you kidding, I'm starved.
Dart Player : There's no food here.
David : Shall we go, Jack?
Jack : Apparently so.
Barmaid : You can't let them go.
David : Um, how much do we owe you?
Chess Player : Nothing lads. Go. God be with you.
Jack : Oh, thank you.
Barmaid : [in a worried tone] WAIT! You just can't let them go!
Chess Player : Go. Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.
David : [zips up his jacket] Thank you.
Chess Player : Beware the moon, lads.
David : Yeah.
Jack : [as they're leaving] What the hell was that all about.
David : I don't know, let's go up the road and see if there's an inn or something.
Jack : Beware the moon?
David : Yeah I know, Jack, but come on, will ya? I'm freezing.
Jack : Where the hell are we going?
David : I don't know, anywhere. I just want to get away from The Slaughtered Lamb.
Jack : Where to now, Kessler, "The Duck's Breath?"
David : Okay, look it, I'm sorry. I'm sure we'll find something else.
Jack : Weird fucking place.
David : It was, man, but boy, they could play darts.
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Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Hello.
Dart Player : Listen... that boy's in danger. I mean... It were a mistake. To let him leave here. There's something wrong with this place.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : That much I understand.
Dart Player : He's the one who lived. He's the one who's in danger, and not just him... others will be too. It's almost full moon. He'll change.. He'll...
Chess Player : That's enough! That's enough!
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Dr. J. S. Hirsch : A drink for a very cold man.
Barmaid : Good afternoon, what can I get you?
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Uh... Campari soda would do very nice I think.
Barmaid : Sorry, love.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Oh, well then a small Guinness will suffice. Nasty business with those two young American boys, wasn't it?
Dart Player : I don't know what you mean, sir.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Yes, I'm sure I'm right. A few weeks back. Last full moon wasn't it? I mean, the escaped lunatic, the one who killed the boy. Oh, a thousand thanks, madam. There we are. Well, that was around here, wasn't it?
Chess Player : Where are you from, sir?
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : London. Excuse me. Knight takes pawn.
Chess Player : [confused] What?
[Dr. Hirsch points at the chess board]
Chess Player : Oh, yeah.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Ah, cheers.
[Drinks his Guinness and then notices the five-point star on the wall]
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : What's that?
Barmaid : Oh, that's been there for 200 years. We were going to paint it out, but it's traditional, so we left it.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Ah, I see. So... You've heard nothing of this incident?
Dart Player : Incident?
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : The murder?
Chess Player : [suspiciously] You a police officer?
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Oh, good lord, no, no. No, I'm a doctor. I work in the hospital where they brought the Kessler boy. He was talking about werewolves. Monsters. I happened to be in the area so I thought...
Dart Player : You thought what?
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : I thought I'd look into the boy's story.
Chess Player : Story about werewolves? Really, sir?
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : [sits down] Like a game? Well?
Chess Player : I think not.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Oh, surely, I'm not that impressive.
Chess Player : No, no, sir, you're not. I don't feel like a game.
Barmaid : [as the dart player gets up to leave] You off now?
Dart Player : [as he puts on his jacket] Aye, I will not be long. I just wanna check on the dogs.
Chess Player : The dogs are fine.
Dart Player : I'll just check.
[He leaves]
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : It's a long drive to London. Do you have anything to eat?
Barmaid : No, there's no food here.
Chess Player : There's nothing for you here, sir.
Dr. J. S. Hirsch : Well. I'll be on my way then.
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Barmaid : [worried after Jack and David have left] You can't let them go.
Chess Player : Should the world know our business?
Dart Player : It's murder then.
Chess Player : Then murder it is. It's in God's hands now.
Barmaid : [later as it's raining] Perhaps they'll be safe in the rain
Chess Player : No one brought them here. No one wanted them here.
Barmaid : You could've told them!
Dart Player : Are you daft? And what do you think they'd say? They'd think us mad.
Barmaid : [hears howling] Listen. Do you hear it? We must go to them.
Chess Player : [in denial] I heard nothing.
Dart Player : Nor I.