- Junior: Daddy, look at that big ugly alligator.
- Buford T. Justice: That reminds me; I gotta call yo' mama tonight.
- Junior: You know, Daddy, I like this place. All the 'gators and snakes and stuff. Why don't we move down here?
- Buford T. Justice: Why don't YOU move down here?
- Junior: Oh no, Daddy, I ain't NEVER leavin' home. That's a promise.
- Buford T. Justice: Don't you ever, EVER threaten yo' daddy like that again!
- Junior: You know, Daddy, I don't think the Bandit's really bad. I think the trouble is he just got in with real bad company.
- Buford T. Justice: Bad company? Let me tell ya somethin', Junior. When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player too.
- Buford T. Justice: Ya know if Junior is able to get up in the morning, tie his shoelaces and take a pee, I'm not proud. I'm amazed.
- Buford T. Justice: [Leaning against his car with his gun pointed at Bandit] Well as you can see Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.
- 'Bandit': You've got your WHAT in your hand?
- Buford T. Justice: Junior! Why didn't you have your gun loaded?
- Junior: When I put bullets in it, Daddy, it gets too heavy.
- [Cledus is standing over the Bandit, who's on the floor, drunk]
- 'Bandit': Cledus, you've gotten taller.
- Cledus Snow: Yes, and you've gotten drunker. This place looks like a shithouse!
- [Bandit points to the bathroom]
- 'Bandit': You want a shithouse? It's in there.
- Buford T. Justice: Let me tell ya somethin', Junior. If you ever embarrass me like that again, I'm gonna get an ax, and you're never gonna have to open your fly again.
- [the gang learns that Charlotte the elephant is pregnant]
- Cledus Snow: Well, I suppose we'd better keep our eyes open.
- Doc: For what?
- Cledus Snow: [laughing] For the biggest goldang stork you ever seen!
- Buford T. Justice: [Sheriff Justice's car got hit by Cledus' truck] Are you alright, Junior?
- Junior: Yeah.
- Buford T. Justice: You would be, you shit!
- 'Bandit': Excuse me sir, but your ass is on fire. I bet you can't wait to get back home to Canada and stick it in the snow.
- 'Bandit': I didn't take Charlotte to Texas.
- Carrie: You didn't?
- 'Bandit': No.
- Carrie: What about Big Enos?
- 'Bandit': Let him get his own elephant.
- Carrie: What about the money?
- 'Bandit': I blew it. But we can still make it.
- Carrie: Have you got more than a dollar?
- 'Bandit': Yeah.
- Carrie: In cash?
- 'Bandit': Yeah.
- Carrie: Then that's good enough.
- [last lines]
- Buford T. Justice: [still pursuing, in a Bus] You're not getting away from me Bandit! I'll chase you in hot-pursuit to the ends of the earth! You Sumbitch!
- 'Bandit': You know I could take you head off.
- Cledus Snow: And you know that's just what you' gonna have to do.
- 'Bandit': What is WRONG with you idiots? You act like she's human!
- [sees tears running down Charlotte's face, Doc starts crying, Cledus tears up]
- 'Bandit': I'm sorry, Charlotte.
- Cledus Snow: [punches Bandit and knocks him down] Doc, I thought I loved him too much to do that to him.
- 'Bandit': Obviously not.
- Cledus Snow: [Bandit is being chased by a lot of police and Cledus is heading straight for them in his truck] Tell me, how many trucks do you see?
- 'Bandit': I see one, unless I've been drinking.
- Cledus Snow: [yells in the CB] Okay, boys... do it, to it!
- Cledus Snow: [19 trucks emerge from behind Snowman's truck] Well, I must be commode-hangin' drunk, coz I see about twenty trucks. Ha ha!
- Cledus Snow: [twenty 18-wheelers are on a crash course with about fifty police cars] Welcome to the biggest game of chicken, boys!
- [Justice has just caused a rollercoaster to collapse]
- Fairground Owner: Sir! I'm the owner of this, of, of... of this mess.
- Buford T. Justice: What are you tryin' to tell me? I'm in hot pursuit.
- Fairground Owner: I would like to say just... one thing... We're closed!
- Buford T. Justice: Get in the car, Junior. We're surrounded by a mental case.
- Cledus Snow: [to a female fan] You don't need a picture of me. I'll come home and sit on your dresser.
- 'Bandit': [finding out Charlotte's pregnant] Who did it?
- Cledus Snow: Don't look at me.
- Doc: Probably another elephant.
- 'Bandit': I know that, when did it happen?
- Doc: Long time ago.
- Doc: Sure, take her in the truck, make the baby go bada-bing, bada-boom, but I'll tell you this, I'm not going to be responsible.
- [walks off muttering Italian]
- Cledus Snow: [to the Bandit] Don't you understand English? He says you can't be shaking Charlotte around in that truck, she's gonna have a baby!
- 'Bandit': We're talking about $400,000, do you understand that? This is our last chance! $400,000!
- Cledus Snow: I understand $400,000 and I would like to get my share of $400,000, but I ain't gonna kill an elephant to get it.
- Terry Bradshaw: [Bandit drives along the sideline and pulls up next to Terry Bradshaw] Hi, Bandit. Hi, Frog.
- Carrie: Hi, Terry.
- 'Bandit': Hey, I need a favor.
- Terry Bradshaw: You always do.
- 'Bandit': Yeah. Uh, do you still got your ranch in Shreveport?
- Terry Bradshaw: You betcha.
- 'Bandit': [Points] Now, I don't have to tell you who that is.
- Terry Bradshaw: [Sees Smokey's police car drive onto the football field] Haha, Buford T. Justice.
- 'Bandit': Could you hold him up for a while?
- Terry Bradshaw: Oh, I'd be glad to. Hey Joe!
- 'Mean' Joe Greene: Yeah?
- Terry Bradshaw: ...Tackle that car!
- [Joe nods and gets in front of Smokey's car as it pulls up]
- 'Bandit': Thanks, Ter!
- Terry Bradshaw: You owe me, Bandit!
- [Bandit drives off]
- Carrie: Let's face it, Sinatra sang "My Way" and you sang "Let's Do Something Cheap and Superficial".
- Buford T. Justice: Well, I've said it before and I'm going to say it again... There ain't no way, no way, that you could come from my loins.
- Gas Station Attendant: If I was making a list of the Great Assholes of the Twentieth Century, you'd be in the Top 5.
- Carrie: [Gets angry at Bo and storms out of club ,he follows] That is it for you! You have had it! You're hooked! You're a fame junkie! They should give you intravenous feedings of People magazine and National Enquirer headlines!... And if you're a real good boy,they'll give you a Tonight Show enema!
- 'Bandit': [Confused by her attitude] What is the matter?
- Carrie: [Ignores him and concludes before leaving] ... and if you weren't so dumb,they'd put you on Cross-Wits!
- Buford T. Justice: [Bandit takes off from between two semi trucks] It's the Bandit!
- Buford T. Justice: [Repeatedly honks the car horn at the semi in front of him] Hey you big piece o' turkey dump! Get that mess the hell outta there!
- Joe Klecko: [Peers out of the semi cab] Talking to me?
- Buford T. Justice: Yes, I'm talkin' to you!
- Joe Klecko: Alright, I'll see if I can get it in gear.
- [Put's the truck in reverse and proceeds to push Sheriff Justice's car backwards]
- 'Bandit': Well, that's about enough
- Cledus Snow: Well, how many is that?
- 'Bandit': One
- Cledus Snow: One? You did one yesterday
- 'Bandit': I know, it hurt
- Buford T. Justice: You're not getting away from me Bandit and I'm still in hot pursuit.
- 'Bandit': I copy that Buford. But I hear your pursuit ain't that hot.
- [Buford's car is folded into a triangle]
- Buford T. Justice: Give me your handkerchief.
- Junior: What?
- Buford T. Justice: Give me your handkerchief.
- [Junior hands him the handkerchief]
- Junior: [Buford wipes the dash and gives the handkerchief back to Junior] What is it?
- Buford T. Justice: A little fly shit.
- John Conn: I reckon if I spend a few more million, I'd have this election sewed up.
- Party Guest: You better. You only raised $80 at that last benefit dinner.
- John Conn: I delivered the Statler Brothers, didn't I?
- Big Enos: Are you ready, Son?
- Little Enos: Nobody shit-bombs a Burdette and gets away with it.
- John Conn: I'll tell you one thing. When I'm elected governor. I'm gonna pass a law that damn fools like that... can't fly over other people's property.
- Big Enos: Let it fly, boy! Let it fly!
- John Conn: Shit!
- [Big Enos and Little Enos drop red paint from bombers as payback]
- John Conn: Enos Burdette, your fat ass will not warm the governor's chair if I have to spend every goddamn dime I got!
- [opening lines]
- Big Enos: You may not know me. I'm Big Enos Burdette.
- [Little Enos taps him on his shoulder]
- Big Enos: This is my son, Little Enos. Believe me, you put Enos Burdette in the capitol building in Austin.
- [Sees three B-25 bombers off in the distance]
- Big Enos: Holy... Is that who I think it is?
- Little Enos: If that ain't John Conn, then I'm The Incredible Hulk.
- John Conn: Bomb bay doors open!
- [the bay doors open]
- John Conn: Bombs away!
- [manure is dumped on Big Enos' campaign train and he laughs]
- Little Enos: [Fuming] Daddy, this bullshit has got to stop.
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Top Gap
By what name was Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) officially released in India in English?
Answer