Can't Stop the Music

I'm a regular customer of a local movie theater that shows old films, and six years ago they screened Can't Stop the Music - I went to see it, and found it an absolute hoot in campy humor! No-holds-barred, super-fast direction, flashy sets and special effects, glitzy musical numbers (the YMCA scene is awe-inducing!) and actors that really looked like they had a lot of fun cooking the whole thing up! It was the best cinematic experience I ever had. Never once did I glance at my watch, which for me is rather amazing. After gobbling up the whole enchilada, I started wishing I could find a copy of it somewhere. Alas, I still haven't.

A few months ago, the same theater showed the film again. I usually don't see a movie twice in a theater, but my memory needed refreshment, and my soul some cheering up. I went, and had just as much fun as I did the first time.

What's most amazing about CSTM is that although the director (whom I recognize as the deaf-and-dumb maid in the equally enjoyable Murder By Death) makes the actors rush through their lines and behave like over-energized hyperactive brats, and narrates the story so fast there's not even time to develop moments of crisis that last longer than a few seconds, the movie actually clocks in at two hours! Be grateful to the director and the screenwriters - a third hour would just have been asking too much of the audience.

CSTM contains some of the most pointless attempts at comedy I've ever seen, and probably ever will see (Bobo Lewis's bread woman - um, huh??), and the only clever line I found was uttered by Perrine when she says bye to Paul Sand's Steve the Record Producer - it's made up almost entirely of song titles. But the actors' eagerness makes up for the lame humor, and salvages even the scenes where Jenner has to make a complete fool of himself (the trouser incident and everything that follows).

I fear that if I ever find CSTM on video or DVD, the small screen will terribly banalize the film, but I won't care. But all you out there - watch the film on the big screen if you get the chance!

How many times have they examined, reconfigured and grumbled at Allan Carr's Can't Stop the Music? I have often wondered this because let's face it, if indeed this is one of the best bad movies ever made, then, let me go on record as saying that of the three classic disco movies of the early 80s --- the other two being Xanadu and Thank God It's Friday --- this one, directed by the Bounty lady herself, Nancy Walker --- holds up against the ravages of time because of its basic premise: it is nothing less than the story, as presented through songs and film fantasy, of the origins of the Village People. Particularly, the prime mover of the saga (indeed, its true hero) is Jack Morell, played by Steve Gutenberg. This one-time record store cashier is in love with beautiful, retired fashion model Samantha Simmons, played by Valerie Perrine. Eventually, Sam gets her heart stolen by attorney Ron White, played by Bruce Jenner. It is the odyssey of Jack, Sam and Ron to bring together six men from the diverse subcultures comprising Lower Manhattan's Greenwich Village to form an unusual singing group called the Village People. Before long, their adventure culminates in the Vilage People's first-ever live concert performance, in San Francisco. How is it, I wonder, that after 21 years we still think of this particular film as the ultimate nail in the coffin of Disco? Frankly, I would like to see this film done proper widescreen justice on AMC. And as some of you, my two most favorite moments in the film are here: the re-mixed "YMCA" and the always awesome "Milkshake." Milkshake is especially tattooed in my brain because it was the last major original song written and produced by the Village People's founding threesome: Jacques Morali, Henri Belolo and Victor Willis. Jacques having long since died of AIDS, and Allan Carr himself having succumbed to prostate cancer, we will never know how much of the magic of Can't Stop is, and yet is not, the accepted truth. One thing's for sure: Can't Stop the Music is the last great effort by six awesome guys to make disco the safest music on the Planet. Well, that's my salute to Can't Stop the Music. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do the Shake (do the Shake), do the Shaaaaaaake (do the Shake), do the Milkshake, the Milkshake (do the Shake)!

This is the best bad movie of all time. Ofcourse that means Steve Guttenberg and disco music are in it. I saw this once, ten years ago and will never ever forget it. The construction worker of the Village People does a musical number about milk. The film was directed by the late Nancy Walker of "quicker picker upper" fame. Bruce Jenner stars. The bizzarre factoids surrounding this film never quit. Whoever can watch this and not repeatedly laugh out loud needs to check their pulse. I fear my compulsion to buy the dvd. God help me, the howling indian. Classic badness.

This movie is unlike anything I have ever seen. It is awful in every sense.

Bad writing, acting, and man, you wanna talk about god awful editing! But when I first saw it on late night TV I could not believe my eyes. Its so bad its good. The whole thing is so happy, so carefree, and so 70's. Even though Steve Guttenberg's character tries to say the Village People are "THE sound of 80's". Yeah, right. This is pure 70's. Back before all the nonsense we have to deal with these days with drugs and sex. The 70's and this movie were all about sex, drugs and rock and roll. And watch at the beginning in the record store scene where all the customers are standing in line to buy Electric Light Orchestra's disco classic album "Discovery". Long live the Village People!

This movie is amazing!! Rarely in the history of mankind have we seen a movie so incredibly awful that it becomes a "must-see film". And, interestingly enough, this film is one of four from 1979-1980 that I have reviewed that all fall into this same category. To what do we owe this honor? Well, 1979-1980, for those of you who are blessed to be too young to remember it, was time of the last gasp of disco AND the short-lived roller-disco craze. And, all four horrible movies I strongly recommend are so bad, so stupid, so over-the-top bad that they are truly must-see films for bad movie fans. So here is my list of the unholy 4--XANADU, ROLLER BOOGIE, THE APPLE and CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC. All four are chock full of disco as well as crappy dialog and minimal production values. My vote for most awful of these is the sci-fi, disco, religious epic THE APPLE, but any of the four is strongly recommended for a good laugh!

Now, for the specifics on CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC--which, when you watch it you may want to re-name "CAN'T STOP THE RETCHING". Back in 1980, the least well-kept secret in America was the fact that the Village People were gay. Believe it or not, many Americans who loved their music lived in complete denial that these were six gay men from Greenwich Village. Well, all doubt and ambiguity is erased in this film! While a few times in the movie, the ultra-horny character, Lulu, makes very clumsy passes at these guys, the long, over-the-top and strongly homo-erotic music videos within the movie make it obvious these men were quite gay--and this is especially true of their rendition of YMCA--which looks sort of like a gay version of Heaven. In fact, the campiness of the movie is sort of like a combination of Liberace with gay disco--with the most flamboyant and silly sets and costumes you'll see outside of a gay pride march. BUT, despite the singing being so incredibly overdone and campy, it actually works in some cases as you'll probably find yourself tapping your feet and getting into the songs--or at least some of them. They are BAD, yes, but still kinda fun at the same time. The final song, CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC, initially is very catchy as well, but goes on and on and on and on until you are nearly ready to go berserk!

So, if the music is strange but not THAT bad, why did I give the movie a 2? Well, that's because when they are not singing, the members of The Village People have very little to say and absolutely no charisma because they are not actors. So, they fill in this gap by having real actors(?) do almost all the dialog. And, for the most part, they assembled the absolute worst actors Hollywood had to offer!! So, the main problem with the movie rests not on the Village People but on everything else about the movie!! To help illustrate HOW bad the acting is, one of the big "stars" for the movie is a very young and obnoxious Steve Guttenburg! He is assisted by the pleasantly built but incredibly bland Valerie Perrine and the ultra-wooden Bruce Jenner!!! This movie, in fact, single-handedly ruined Jenner's bid to become a serious actor, as he had all the personality and chemistry of Mr. Potatohead.

Now, so far this movie offers us one music video after another (many with very gay visuals that will make a few uncomfortable but most just laugh), horrible acting and dialog, a dopey story and wretched direction by Nancy Walker (yes, the Bounty commercial woman). And, when you put them all together you have a movie that is even worse than a sum of all its parts--so bad, that you'll most likely laugh yourself silly and have great time making fun of the ineptness of the film. Call some friends and make this the party film you all won't soon forget!