User reviews

Wow! This one has been stuck way in the back webs of my mind. Almost erased until I stumbled across it on the IMDb! As soon as I saw the title I immediately remembered the movie as if it were last week. I can see why many would consider this to be a bad movie, but oh well, opinions are like #*$holes, everyone has one. So be it. I liked it. The cheesy element made it work in a weird way. The locations were authentic from what I remember and the action was pretty good.

The scenes that stick in my mind are the crazies in the village, very funny, but almost creepy. I remember when he entered there were creepy noises, I was 11 yrs. old in '85. Also, the flagmen, dressed in colorful uniforms pointing the way to the next obstacle. I liked this movie and I remember it as a late night classic on HBO/Cinemax in the 80s. I hope cable brings it back with this release. If not, I will purchase it.

"Call me Snake"

Looking like a bizarro MacGyver and armed with a deadly gymnastics/karate hybrid fighting style, real life gymnastics champ Kurt Thomas flips, kicks and spins his way though a host of vaguely ethnic baddies in the fictional nation of Parmistan. His mission; to win The Game, a deadly race through Ninja filled forests and a town full of crazed maniacs. If he wins, his prize is one wish, which he will use to allow the U.S. to place a satellite monitoring station in Parmistan to act as an early warning against a potential nuclear attack. Thankfully, there are plenty of uneven bars and pommel horses in Parmistan.

Maxim once voted 'Gymkata' the 17th worst film of all-time, but honestly it's pretty entertaining. The plot is beyond dumb and the acting is atrocious, but the fight scenes are a blast thanks to some creative choreography, the real life skills of Thomas and a director who knows the genre in Robert Clouse ('Enter the Dragon', 'Blackbelt Jones', 'The Big Brawl' and 'China O'Brien 1 & 2').

From the producer and director of Bruce Lee's seminal martial arts film "Enter the Dragon" comes this martial arts low-point that decided a deadly combination of gymnastics and karate was the formula for a brilliant new action film. US Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas travels to a mysterious fictional European country to complete in a deadly tournament that's a mix of Han's martial arts tournament in "Enter the Dragon" and the plot from "The Most Dangerous Game." Overall, this film is a mess, but it's so awful that's it's absolutely hilarious. The way Thomas manages to find high bars and pommel horses in the most unexpected of places is comic gold. Only watch this film for ironic camp value and look somewhere else if you want good fight sequences. Kung-fu film mainstay Richard Norton also appears as the lead henchman.

The best thing about "Gymkata" is that it takes itself very seriously. Actual men and women worked on this film with no intention of creating a hysterically abominable failure. Yet, despite a premise that fails to produce anything beyond derisive laughter, the project somehow landed financing.

Highlights include: The Khan of Parmistan, a man who looks like Albert Einstein with Carl Levin's comb-over. "The Town of the Crazies," a village of criminally insane people. A man who severs his own hand for no apparent reason in the aforementioned town. A man (also in that town) who wears a cloak with the back cut out to reveal his buttocks. The oft-repeated location, "Karabal, on the Caspian Sea." The title card that lets us know when we've arrived at "Karabal, on the Caspian Sea." Princess Rubali and her odd fascination with cutlery. A man named "Thorg," who has been admired by the hero "since Munich." An actual line of dialogue that refers to "a nightmare in hell." The five punch/kick sound effects that get recycled beyond believability. A character who presumably fell to his death in a gaping, barren canyon only to have his fall "broken by some trees." The random placement of gymnastics apparatuses. The complete lack of resolution to numerous dangling plot points. Kurt Thomas's wardrobe and haircut. The men working at "The Salt Mines," who just poke a large pile of refined salt with hoes. Also, we get the privilege of seeing a shadowy government agent push away a gymnastics groupie who tries to get too close to a post-dismount Kurt Thomas.

If you happen across this movie, you must watch it. "Gymkata" stands as an example of what happens when no one offers a dissenting opinion anywhere in the filmmaking process. This is a technique that was later revealed in Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin."

"Gymkata" fulfills every expectation you may have of a film combining gymnastics and ninjitsu. Plenty of gymnastics, plenty of ninjitsu. See it with a friend and enjoy its many failures. All hail "Gymkata!"

When my dad told me we what movie we were going to see, at first I thought it was a Jimmy Carter biopic. When he explained that it was a martial arts espionage movie, I was happily surprised.

As it turns out, a Jimmy Carter biopic would have been more enjoyable.

Whew. What can be said about Gymkata that hasn't already? This is nothing but pure halarity from beginning to end. If you want a movie that will keep you on the floor laughing, this is the perfect movie to get. From Cabot's wild-style mullet/sweater combo to Parmistan (and it's four billion assorted ninjas), everything about this film reeks of crap.

Directed by Robert Clouse, the infamous mind that brought you the mirror scene in Bruce Lee's Game of Death, he once again showcases his complete lack of directing talent. A few other faces you most likely won't recognize will appear for your enjoyment as well, from Buck Kartalian to Tadashi Yamashita, although you won't remember them or care about them after the movie is done.

Supposedly based on a book called "The Terrible Game," which, if I could find a single trace of it's existence anywhere I would be interested in reading it, to see where this thing went wrong. Instead, the book apparently is a figment of Gymkata's imagination. Probably something Clouse made up in order to sell his lame idea.

Pick this one up and Yakmallah it for yourself. It is easily one of the best bad movies I have ever seen, and that is saying quite a bit.

America needs the best man possible to win "The game" so who do they hire? A gymnast (Oh brother!) played by Kurt Thomas who has the necessary skills to win in a game which involves ninjas, a village of crazies and Richard Norton who is told by Kurt Thomas "to keep his hardware in his pants." (His exact words) I missed this in theaters and it's a good reason because I would have probably been kicked out due to the laughing I broke into at regular intervals. The first thing that went through my mind was just how lame these ninjas are if a gymnast can kick their ass. Kurt Thomas is like 5 foot 4 and he hardly strikes one as "The best man for the job" As to the acting talent of Kurt Thomas, well if you can't say something nice... In all seriousness though one has to wonder how much cocaine was being used to furnish an idea so stupid. Only the decision to cast Tara Reid as a scientist tops the dumbness here. For 18 years though this held the title of the dumbest movie I had ever seen. Not to say I didn't find this unwatchable, I was laughing so hard I almost choked to death. Twice. Only in the 80's could a movie with such a bad idea get made. Although for the record it is the only movie to ever feature a hero so wimpy, he can't even pull a wedged sword out from the ground. This is the wimpiest action movie ever made, and one of the most hilarious also.

* out of 4-(Bad)

Buck's role as The Kahn brings to mind Bob Barker (of The Price is right) running a country the same way he runs his show. But there's lots more to chuckle and snort through in this turkey. Kurt Thomas as the baby-faced "hero" displays some considerable acrobatic skills, but not a whit of acting talent whatsoever. There's a few spooky moments (in the Village of Crazies, mostly), and some mildly impressive martial arts sequences. But any given "Ninja" movie will give you much more entertainment, and you won't feel as guilty about laughing.

despite the fact that this film is pretty poorly done from from every every aspect you can think of,it's still manages to be a guilty pleasure.it comes off more as a Mel Brooks parody type of a movie than an actual serous attempt at film making,although it does try to take itself seriously,which of course makes it all the more funny.there are definitely a lot of eye rolling moments here.and yet,this is nowhere near as bad as many so called movies floating around out there.there's some entertainment value here,and it isn't all that painful to watch,relatively speaking.try Dark Town,or Dracula 3000,if you really want to know pain,and then get back to me.as for this one,i give it a 7/10

I first found this movie late at night on cable, and I couldn't stop watching it. This movie is amazingly bad, in the most hilarious sort of way. Did anyone who was making this movie know how bad this would be? I honestly don't know. Thank god it was made though, the village of the crazies scene is a classic.

This movie should have been on MST3K.

How this movie escaped the wrath of MST3K I'll never know. "Gymkata" is a ridiculous action movie, filled (or is that empty?) with paper-thin plots, dumb characters, and preposterous situations. But take it from me, if you enjoy watching poor, yet goofy, movies, you will enjoy "Gymkata" a great deal.

The action centers around a gymnast who is chosen by government agents (at least I think they were government agents) to become a spy. You see his dad was another quasi-government agent, who has gone missing competing in this game, called, eloquently, "The Game." So the gymnast (played blandly by Kurt Thomas) trains to compete in this game and find out what happened to his lost dad.

Sounds promising doesn't it? Okay, so it doesn't but still, that bare bones plot sypnopsis doesn't begin to describe the joys of this movie. They can be found in the movie's strange details. Like the gymnast's mysterious Asian girlfriend, who doesn't speak for the first half hour of the movie, then all of a sudden begins to talk, and doesn't shut up for the rest of the time! Or the really tough shirtless bad guy who likes to make and break "The Game"'s non-existent rules whenever he so pleases. And of course there's our hero's delightful romp through the "Village of The Crazies" (Evidently that's the place's real name!). Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

But where this movie really shines is the action scenes. Since our protagonist is a gymnast, the director thought it wise to stick gymnastic equipment into the back alleys and town squares of Middle Eastern cities, so that our Gymkata master would be better able to use his gymnast skills to fight the scourge of evil on parallel bars and pummel horses. It has to be seen to be believed.

One interesting thing of note. A lot, I'd say about half the cast, dies from being shot with an arrow. Interesting because the arrows are the only believable effects or action in the entire movie. If these were indeed effects, my one major note of compliment to whoever devised these very realistic arrows wounds. More likely, this was the film's way of not paying extras. Nevertheless, "Gymkata" deserves a look if you can see it without paying and are looking for some silliness that is an easy target for riffing.

The film is an American gymnast who is invited to participate in a tournament in a small eastern town. In that town he has to face many dangers. Movie bizarre, Class B. It is very good for how bad it is. Recommended.

I saw it when I was a kid, I saw it again recently with the hope that is as good as I remembered. Do not know what else to write. But IMDb calls me at least 10 lines for each review.

Another thing I can say about the movie is how the character is just a bar of gymnastics or other elements of their discipline, it is very real. But I like it.

I met Kurt Thomas at a gymnastics even in 1992. First thing I said to him was "Gymkata?" It is probably not difficult to imagine the look that came over the poor man's face at that point.

But I love Gymkata. We used to watch it for its tremendous entertainment value as an all-time great "bad" movie. My own personal favorite parts are the pommel horse in the medieval lunatic asylum, the guy saying "there is some anti-American sentiment going around here" immediately before being shot with an arrow, and of course the "Yak-MALLA!" war cry of "Parmistan." Oh, yeah, the four or five repetitions of "Karabal, on the Caspian Sea" before the place is shown with just that as the caption on the screen.

Yak-MALLA indeed!

JP Marat L'Ami du Peuple

Gymkata was the attempt to turn gymnast champion Kurt Thomas into a martial arts film star. It is also an endurance game that the country of Parmistan plays. Outsiders play the game, but no one ever wins in fact no one ever survives from the outside.

But Thomas is going to compete for the USA and what's at stake is an early warning system for the Reagan Star Wars program. Located in the Hindu Kush mountains between China, India, and the Soviets it's prize location.

Although Thomas got himself a Razzie nomination he's no better than a lot of the martial arts performers as thespians nor any worse. It's a bad film, but not spectacularly bad.

In any event Thomas decided wisely that athletics were still a better fit.

... so if it doesn't bore you, and maybe you have some retro fondness for this era and this film genre in particular, it might be an 8/10 for you.

Ludicrous Reagan-era action film in which Kurt Thomas, a real-life champion gymnast, stars as a champion gymnast who is recruited by the government to travel to the west Asian country of Parmistan and participate in the "Game", wherein the contestants are hunted while they try to make their way to the finish line. He must be an expert fighter, so he is trained in combat, which he combines with his gymnastics expertise to create Gymkata, a new fighting style. Once in the game, he must fight the other participants as well as Parmistan's ruler's right hand man, the evil Zamir (D-movie regular Richard Norton). What perils await our mulleted hero as he tries to escape the Village of the Crazies?

Co-starring veteran goofball Buck Kartalian as Parmistan's ruler, Tetchie Agbayani as his beautiful daughter, and a few lesser known action regulars, like Bob Schott and Conan Lee. This movie moves from one absurd set-piece to another, and is well worth seeing just for the head-scratching sequence in the Village of the Crazies. Serious film buffs will be unamused, but for bad movie fans, it doesn't get much better. I like that the goal of the hero is to win so that the new Star Wars Defense program can be placed in Parmistan. Incredibly, this was from MGM, just as they decided to throw up their hands and sell out to Ted Turner. Who can really blame them at this point.

I was really looking forward to this cult classic, but the world cult usually reveals that a movie only has value to a select few.

I can safely say I'm not one of them and I find it difficult to pinpoint why. Gymkata has everything going for it as far as good bad movies go. Ludicrous premise, executed badly, but taking itself very seriously at the same time. If you watch only bits and pieces on YouTube this looks like the most wonderful hilarious nonsense. However at full length it became a chore to sit through. Looking back at the late Robert Clouse's filmography I'm beginning to suspect Enter the Dragon was a total fluke.

It may be possible to find enjoyment here with a group of friends, but the enjoyment will probably come from being with your friends and the movie playing in the background will at best be incidental.

One night I was waiting for my friends to come back to the apt and "Gymkata" happened to be on; I watched way too much of it. It is indeed hilarious, and horrifying, really. Think about it this way--if in your job you had an idea for something this bad and went on to execute it in as terrible a fashion as this, how long exactly would you last? Not as long as this movie. It's a must-see, obviously.

Gymkata. That perennial mainstay of late night TV where I first caught it at a young age. The tagline for this movie was, "the skill of gymnastics. The kill of karate." You seriously can't get more 80's than this movie.

The story itself is beyond silly and contrived. Gymnastics superstar Johnathan Cabot, played by real life Olympic medalist Kurt Thomas and his mullet, is tasked by the government to to be their emissary to Parmistan. Why send a gymnast for this? Well, there's more stupid to this. It's because Parmistan is the perfect place for a Star Wars defense grid but they don't like outsiders. The Parmistani people are a proud people and they only allow outsiders in to play, "The Game". The Game is a deadly obstacle course where people die, or are killed, in the process of trying to complete it. And the winner can ask anything of their leader the Khan and it must be given. Such are the rules. But no outsider has won the game for over 600 years.

To prepare for this they get a bunch of teachers who will train him to create a whole new type of martial art namely Gymkata. And it seems to be composed entirely of flips, Johnathan jumping at people and climbing the stairs using only his hands.

And of course there's a love interest. The very lovely and former Playboy model Tetchie Agbayani who plays the princess of the Parmistani people. She plays it cool, beats him up a few times and then finally falls for his charms. I guess mullets turn her on or something.

This movie is ridiculous in every sense of the word. From the premise, to the idea of Kurt being a bona fide action star, to the pieces of gymnastics equipment littering the streets of Parmistan. I'm not kidding. They're attacked by... some guys while out for a walk and Johnathan runs down this alley where there's a pole just hanging there between two buildings. It could be used to maybe dry clothes on but there's no windows there. It's just a pole. Johnathan jumps up, grabs it and starts spinning around. The baddies then just run into his feet like that. Or the pommel horse in the village of the crazies. And yes, that's a thing in this movie. He's surrounded by crazy folk, gets on the pommel horse and starts spinning around while kicking everybody's butt when they conveniently run into his feet. These people are surrounding him and have pitchforks and long pointy objects. Yet none of them try to stab him in the back. These are the most polite homicidal crazy people ever. They'll never stab anybody in the back.

And in the end this is a gloriously wonderful example of 80's cheese. It's entertaining in a "so bad it's good" kind of way and for lovers of bad cinema it's a must see.

If I could say it was better than Gymkata, I at least felt my money was not totally wasted.

Then I saw Steven Segal's On Deadly Ground.

This movie should see a resurrection though on MST 3K. If Santa Claus Conquers the Martians could make Tom Servo's head explode, one wonders what mayhem this movie could cause.

There is a very good reason why Kurt Thomas never had a movie career.

The writers of this dreck should be forced to wear placards every day of their lives that say "Bitch slap me! I was a writer on Gymkata."

Seriously, this movie is completely under appreciated as a mid-80's cult classic. It's absurd plot and wooden performances are what make the film so likeable. If you watch "Gymkata" expecting to see a solid performance by an Olympic gymnast, then you are missing the allure this film has on so many 28-35 year old men that secretly rent this title at least once a year ... for a good laugh. The movie is funny because it's so bad and takes itself so seriously. Enjoy it. Stop analyzing it as of it were ever intended to be a cinematic masterpiece. Bad movies deserve good ratings because they are so unintentionally funny. So, rent Gymkata, Glitter, and any movie with Julia Stiles, sit back, relax, and marvel at the unintentional comedy.

I remember watching this on a rainy night back when I was a little boy in Guadalajara, Mexico. I started watching it a few minutes after it started, I was channel surfing while making me a cold glass of chocolate-milk and getting ready to have me some strawberry glassed cookies.

I was about ten or eleven years old, before I knew it my mouth was wide open and I was submerged into the movie. The fights seemed so violent, I felt supportive of the tiny American competitor and it was turning into one of those magical and rainy movie nights.

I am one of those "dudes" that rent this movie often, although it is not a gem of cinematography I still enjoy the violence and craziness of the movie. My favorite part has to be "the village of the damn", if you have seen the movie you know what I am talking about. I remember having nightmares about that place, I wouldn't mind having to go thru it as long as I have a AK-47. If you have not seen it I recommend it, just don't expect a blockbuster.

Thank G_d it bombed, or we might get treated to such delights as "Skate Fu" where we can see the likes of Brian Boitano performing a triple lutz & slashing bad guys to ribbons with his razor-sharp skates, but I digress. One thing that could have helped this turkey would have been a little T & A from Ms. Agbayani. It's not like the world would have seen anything new (at least that part of the world who saw her Playboy spread.) I truly believe that porn would have suited her 'talents' much better, although Aubrey Hepburn couldn't have stayed afloat in this sewer. One explanation for Kurt Thomas' presence could be a traumatic brain injury, possibly from coming up short too often on dismounts. It's a good thing the IOC wasn't as diligent on 'doping' as they are now, or Kurt would surely have been stripped of his medals. To be avoided at all costs.