Octopussy (1983)
Roger Moore: James Bond
Photos
Quotes
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James Bond : [looking at the tattoo on Magda's back] Forgive my curiosity, but, what is that?
Magda : That's my little octopussy.
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James Bond : [Q's mechanized version of the "Indian Rope Trick" malfunctions] Having problems keeping it up, Q?
Q : Experimental model!
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[Bond and Q are floating in a hot air balloon]
James Bond : I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q : It goes by hot air.
James Bond : Oh, then you can.
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[Confronting James Bond]
Kamal Khan : You have a nasty habit of surviving.
James Bond : You know what they say about the fittest.
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M : Remember, 007, you're on your own.
James Bond : Well, thank you, sir. That's a great comfort.
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Magda : I guess this is good night.
James Bond : I could come in for a nightcap.
[Gobinda puts a hand in front of Magda's door]
James Bond : Some other time perhaps.
James Bond : [Gobinda walks Bond back to his room] I don't suppose you'd care for a nightcap?
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[Twin Two throws several knives at Bond, which pass through his clothes, pinning him to a cabin door]
Twin Two : [draws another knife] And this... for my brother...
[Bond plucks one of the knives from the door, and throws it at Twin Two, hitting him fatally in his stomach]
James Bond : And that's for 009!
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James Bond : [the real Col. Luis Toro has found Bond] Well, it's small world. You're a Toro, too!
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Q : [Q is demonstrating a pen filled with acid] Dissolves all metals.
James Bond : Wonderful for poison pen letters...
Q : Pay attention, 007!
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James Bond : [bad guys are chasing Bond and Vijay] Vijay, we've got company!
Vijay : No problem, this is a company car.
[the unlikely-looking Tuk-Tuk 'rickshaw cab' accelerates through the crowd on its back wheels]
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Jim Fanning : [after Bond bids for the egg] Have you gone mad?
James Bond : Let's see how badly he wants it.
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[Bond is dragged from a river onto a tour boat]
Woman on Tour Boat : Are you with our group?
James Bond : No, ma'am, I'm with the economy tour!
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James Bond : [using Kamal's loaded dice to beat him in backgammon] Double sixes. Fancy that!
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Front Desk Clerk : I hope you have a pleasant stay.
[Bond eyes a bikini clad beauty nearby who smiles at him]
James Bond : I'm, ah, sure I will.
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[first lines]
James Bond : You didn't tell me there was going to be this much security.
Bianca : They moved the flight up to this afternoon.
James Bond : Well, we're going to have to go ahead as planned anyway.
[Bianca hands an ID badge with the name 'Luis Toro' to Bond]
James Bond : Toro. Sounds like a load of bull.
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Octopussy : A paid assassin.
James Bond : When I kill it is on the specific orders of my Government.
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James Bond : [handing a wad of Indian cash to his accomplice] That should keep you in curry for a few weeks.
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James Bond : I would have taken that double, myself.
Kamal Khan : Then, why don't you take over the Major's position? Mr?
James Bond : Bond, James Bond.
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M : You had no business bidding for that egg! What would you have done if you'd had been stuck with it?
James Bond : Then I would have claimed it was a fake, sir... and not paid.
M : Not paid?
James Bond : Here is the real one. I swiped it with the fake at the auction.
M : Good God. And what happens when the buyer discovers this?
James Bond : He complains.
M : Well?
James Bond : I don't think he will complain. According to Fanning, this Kamal usually sells. Now he buys. I think the fake will smoke him out. I had a tail follow him to Heathrow, where he caught a plane to Delhi.
M : You must go there, too. I'll have Sadruddin, our man at Station I, there to assist you.
James Bond : Yes, well, I have exactly 35 minutes to catch that plane.
M : Oh, Bond... sign a chit for that egg on your way out... it's government property now.
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James Bond : [Bond's jet is on empty but he manages to land it next to a gas station and the pump attendant comes out to greet him] Fill er' up, please!
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James Bond : What can I say, Miss Moneypenny, except to say that she is - as attractive and, eh - as charming...
Miss Moneypenny : As I used to be?
James Bond : I didn't say that.
Miss Moneypenny : You're such a flatterer, James.
James Bond : Oh, Moneypenny, you know there never has been and - there never will be -anybody but you.
Miss Moneypenny : So, you've told me.
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M : Do you know what this is?
James Bond : Why, it looks like a Fabergé egg, sir. One of the jeweled eggs made by Carl Fabergé as an Easter gift to the Russian royal family. They're priceless and very rare. This one contains a model of the imperial stage coach.
M : Top marks, 007.
James Bond : Thank you, sir.
M : Except - it's a fake.
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James Bond : May I join you? Sotheby's. Half a million pounds.
Magda : The man at the auction.
James Bond : Precisely.
Magda : You have a very good memory for faces.
James Bond : And figures.
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James Bond : Let's put it this way, up to now you are the least lethal and, by far, the prettiest of Kamal's friends that I've come across.
Magda : Thank you.
James Bond : So, does he have a proposition for me or - do you?
Magda : He suggests trade. The egg - for you life.
James Bond : Well, I heard the price of eggs was going up, but, isn't that a little high?
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Magda : It's for my scrapbook. I collect - memories.
James Bond : Well, let's get on with - making a few.
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Kamal Khan : Good evening, Mr. Bond.
James Bond : Good evening.
Kamal Khan : Well rested? I believe you and Miss Magda have - met?
James Bond : It was a pleasure.
Magda : You're too kind.
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Sadruddin : It belongs to a fabulously wealthy woman who lives on the floating palace.
James Bond : Who is she?
Sadruddin : No one knows her real name; but, she's known as Octopussy.
James Bond : Well, that's the name I heard at Kamal's.
Vijay : I hear the island is fully of beautiful women. No men allowed.
James Bond : Really? Sexual discrimination. I'll definitely have to pay it a visit.
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Octopussy : [Bond sneaks on to the island and makes his way into Octopussy's room] Good evening. I wondered when you might arrive.
James Bond : So you are the mysterious Octopussy.
Octopussy : And you are James Bond, 007, licensed to kill. Am l to be your target for tonight?
James Bond : Oh no, not necessarily. Depends how much you tell me about jewelry smuggling. And why one of our agents was killed in East Berlin.
Octopussy : I know nothing about that. You remember Major Dexter Smythe? You were sent out to arrest him, weren't you?
James Bond : You seem to have done your homework.
James Bond : [Octopussy hands Bond a drink] Thank you.
James Bond : Yes. Smythe, after a brilliant military career, was seconded to our secret service. His mission was to recover a cache of Chinese gold seized in North Korea. Both he and his native guide disappeared. The gold was never found.
Octopussy : And 20 years later you were sent after him.
James Bond : Well, the guide's body turned up with a bullet still in his skull from Smythe's service revolver. I traced Smythe to Sri Lanka, faced him with the facts, and gave him 24 hours to clear up his affairs before I took him back.
Octopussy : He committed suicide rather than face the disgrace of a court martial.
James Bond : What's the connection?
Octopussy : He was my father. I'd hoped fate would bring us together one day.
James Bond : To avenge him?
Octopussy : No, to thank you for giving him an honorable alternative.
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Orlov : [enters the trailer, sees Bond in Mischka's 'Twin One' clothes from behind and mistakes him for Mischka] Leave that! Let's go.
James Bond : [turns around, facing Orlov with pointed gun] Let's stay. Sit on that box. Hands on your knees. Come on, move! Now why is that bomb on the train?
Orlov : Who are you?
James Bond : I'm British Secret Service.
Orlov : You should be more concerned about getting out of here alive.
James Bond : I am more concerned about an atomic bomb exploding on a US Air Force base! You surely can't be inviting a full-scale nuclear war? What happens when the US retaliates?
Orlov : [grinning] Against whom?
James Bond : [frowning, realizing Orlov's scheme] My God... of course. Our early-warning system will rule out the possibility of that bomb having been launched from Russia or anywhere else. Everyone will assume incorrectly... that it was a American bomb triggered accidentally.
Orlov : Well, that would be the most plausible explanation.
James Bond : Europe will insist on unilateral disarmament, leaving every border undefended for you to walk across at will! And it doesn't matter a damn to you I suppose that thousands of innocent people will be killed in that "accident" of yours?
Orlov : Better than letting a handful of old men in Moscow bargain away our advantage in disarmament talks!
James Bond : On your feet, General. You're going to stop that train.
Orlov : [they hear hoot as the train starts to move off] It's too late.
James Bond : You can stop it at the border.
[suddenly the door opens. Bond turns around to see a Russian soldier. Bond kills the soldier before he manages to point his rifle, and meanwhile Orlov escapes]
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James Bond : [runs into a tiger in the jungle, does Barbara Woodhouse imitation:] Sit!
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James Bond : Well, I must say you've become more beautiful everyday.
Miss Moneypenny : *I'm* over here.
James Bond : Oh, of course you are.
Miss Moneypenny : And this is Miss Penelope Smallbone - my new assistant.
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James Bond : Welcome to Universal Exports.
[Bond gives Miss Smallbone a bouquet of red carnations]
Miss Moneypenny : Take it dear, that's all you'll ever get from him.
Penelope Smallbone : Thank you, Commander Bond.
James Bond : You know me?
Penelope Smallbone : Miss Moneypenny described you.
Miss Moneypenny : In nauseating detail.
James Bond : Really?
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Octopussy : Good evening. I wondered when you might arrive.
James Bond : So you are the mysterious Octopussy.
Octopussy : And you are James Bond, 007, Licensed to Kill. Am I to be your target tonight?
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Octopussy : Mr. Bond, smuggling is no concern of the Secret Service. I've violated no British law. You're free to leave; but, I'd much rather prefer if you'd stay as my guest for a few days.
James Bond : I'd like that.
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James Bond : At the risk of appearing to be making light dinner conversation, may I ask exactly why I'm here?
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Octopussy : [James embraces and kisses Octopussy] No!
James Bond : You're right, we are two of a kind.
[Kiss]
Octopussy : Oh - James!
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Octopussy : When Father's gold ran out, the people in Hong Kong who'd disposed of it for him offered me a commission to smuggle some diamonds. I discovered I had a talent for it.
James Bond : You went into business for yourself?
Octopussy : Yes, but l needed an organization, so l revived the old Octopus cult.
James Bond : Well, then. Where did you recruit all these lovelies?
Octopussy : There are many of them all over Southeast Asia, looking for a guru, spiritual discipline, who knows what. l train them. Give them a purpose, a sisterhood and a way of life.
James Bond : In crime?
Octopussy : In business. I have diversified into shipping, hotels, carnivals and circuses.
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Vijay : [Tells Bond about Kamal's doings, and says that he, too, plays cricket] As a matter of fact, I've got a part-time job as a pro at Kamal's club.
James Bond : What have you learned so far?
Vijay : Well, my backhand's improving.
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[last lines]
[Bond is in traction]
Octopussy : I wish...
James Bond : What?
Octopussy : I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition.
[Bond releases himself from traction]
Octopussy : Oh, James.
[Bond kisses Octopussy passionately]
Octopussy : James!
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Magda : [In bed] I need refilling.
James Bond : Hmm? Of course you do.
[reaches for a bottle of champagne]
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James Bond : [he tosses all his money to the crowd] Easy comes, easy goes!
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James Bond : Ah, Q - how are you?
Q : Most unhappy, 007, thanks to you. How can I be expected to maintain the quality of my work? Sent out here at a moment's notice! No proper facilities!
James Bond : Yes, well, you wouldn't have a small piece of thread, now. Somebody seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
Q : Ah, they missed you. What a pity!
James Bond : I've also mislaid my PPK.
Q : Anything else?
James Bond : No, that's all Q.
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Octopussy : Is something wrong?
James Bond : Not really. Just a feeling.
Octopussy : Why don't you come back to bed.
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James Bond : [Bond lands his plane, folds up the wings and drives into a gas station] Fill her up, please.
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James Bond : [Attending a London art auction of a Faberge egg, with an MI6 art expert] How much should it fetch?
Jim Fanning : [MI6 art expert] Oh, 250,000... 300,000 pounds. Anything more would be crazy.
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Magda : I don't know how to say goodbye.
James Bond : Actions speak louder than words.