- Walt: Daddy, what's gradual school?
- T. S. Garp: What?
- Walt: Gradual school. Mommy says she teaches at gradual school.
- T. S. Garp: Oh. Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.
- Jenny Fields: You know, everybody dies. My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies. I'm going to die too. So will you. The thing is, to have a life before we die. It can be a real adventure having a life.
- [noticing scantily clad prostitutes]
- Jenny Fields: Is that the latest fashion?
- T. S. Garp: No, Mom, that's the oldest profession.
- Roberta: I mean, I had mine removed surgically under general anesthesia. But to have it bitten off in a Buick...
- Jenny Fields: It's lust!
- T. S. Garp: We'll take the house. Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical. It's been pre-disastered. We're going to be safe here.
- [last lines]
- T. S. Garp: Helen, remember.
- Helen Holm: What, my love?
- T. S. Garp: Everything, Helen.
- Helen Holm: Yes, my love.
- T. S. Garp: I'm flying, Helen.
- Helen Holm: Yes, my love.
- T. S. Garp: I'm flying. Ta-ranta-ranta-ra.
- Jenny Fields: Are you gonna go to sleep or you gonna stay up and think your weird thoughts?
- Young Garp: I'll stay up and think weird thoughts for a while.
- [telling Dean Bodger and her son about his father, who was a brain-damaged WWII veteran she tended as a nurse]
- Jenny Fields: Where was I?
- T. S. Garp: He kept having erections.
- Jenny Fields: Thank you. He was dying. I wanted a child. Seemed like a good way to have one without the bother of a husband around who had legal rights to my body. So, one night when I was on duty and the the wounded and maimed were all asleep, I went to him. He was asleep. But his erection was there, as always. I removed my undergarments and climbed on top of him. He woke up then. He said the only word other than his name that I ever heard him utter. He said, "good." It didn't take very long, and that once was all that was needed.
- Dean Bodger: You raped him! You raped a dying man!
- Roberta: [telling Garp he cannot go to his mother's feminist memorial] They're not going to allow any men. A man *killed* her! They're very *upset*!
- T. S. Garp: [after being told he shouldn't go to his nom's feminist memorial] I will grieve alone for the rest of my life, but right now I want to be around people who loved her.
- T. S. Garp: [to his infant son in baby carriage] Don't be a baby, Duncan! Say da-da!
- [Duncan blows raspberry at Garp]
- Garp: I have just read in Time Magazine, my mother's book has been translated into Apache. Apache, Helen. Not even Shakespeare or Dickens has been translated into Apache.
- Helen Holm: She's timely. She struck a chord women wanted to hear. The reviewers took her to pieces. They said wonderful things about your book.
- Garp: Yeah, but I don't want reviews, I want an audience. A big audience.
- Roberta: I love kids.
- T. S. Garp: Oh, me, too.
- Roberta: I didn't know I loved them so much until I became a woman. Had I known, I would've had some while I was still a man.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: [to Roberta] Hey, you! Dildo! Is this the nut house where you're keeping my Laurel?
- Roberta: Laurel's here but we're not exactly keeping her.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Bullshit, ya big dyke.
- Roberta: I'm not a dyke. Is Laurel expecting you?
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: I'll kill you, douchebag!
- Roberta: That's all you men understand is violence.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Now look. I know what sort of freaks hang around here. It's a big lesbian scene.
- [Garp walks on to porch]
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Ooooh, oooh, what are you, the man of the house or the court eunuch? Laurel, you in there, you bitch?
- Jenny Fields: Hello.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Oh, I know who you are. My Laurel's not your type sweetie.
- Jenny Fields: Perhaps she's not your type either.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Listen, goddammit. If you don't get Laurel's ass out here I'm gonna...
- [Roberta knocks down Randy]
- Laurel - Dog's Head Mansion: Randy!
- Jenny Fields: Are you all right?
- Laurel - Dog's Head Mansion: Baby, you found me.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Oh, I don't think I can drive the fuckin' car.
- Laurel - Dog's Head Mansion: That's all right. I can drive, you just never let me.
- [to Jenny]
- Laurel - Dog's Head Mansion: I guess Randy needs me.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Easy!
- [In pain as Laurel helps him to the car]
- Laurel - Dog's Head Mansion: Sorry, baby, I'm sorry.
- Randy - Dog's Head Mansion: Crazy dyke blind-sided me.
- [first lines]
- Mrs. Fields: Garp?
- Jenny Fields: Garp.
- Mrs. Fields: Garp.
- Mr. Fields: Garp?
- Mrs. Fields: Yes, Garp.
- Mr. Fields: Sounds like a fish.
- Jenny Fields: Didn't want to get married. I wanted a baby.
- Mrs. Fields: But a wedding ring, dear...
- Jenny Fields: I didn't need a ring, Mother. I needed his sperm.
- Mr. Fields: No! Don't you *dare* say sperm in this house.
- Mr. Fields: Jenny! In the war - which side was he on? Was he on our side at least?
- Jenny Fields: He wasn't on any side. He was flat on his back in a hospital. One night, when he had one of his usual erections, I got on top of him and he squirted it in me. He ejaculated almost immediately. And as a result, I've got a wonderful baby.
- Jenny Fields: Bosworth! A word of warning, you filth monger! If you expose my baby one more time to cheap shots like this
- [holds up a Girlie magazine]
- Jenny Fields: l'll inoculate your jock strap with bubonic plague and t'll do such a job on you, you'll have nothing left to scratch down there.
- Jenny Fields: It was lust.
- Ernie Holm: Beg your pardon?
- Jenny Fields: Lust. Mr. Holm, you have a daughter. I have a son.
- Ernie Holm: He's a fine boy. He's a good wrestler.
- Jenny Fields: He's also full of lust. I can spot it a mile away. He's lusting after your daughter.
- Ernie Holm: I wouldn't worry about that. Helen can take care of herself. After all, it's only natural.
- Jenny Fields: Diseases are natural, too. It doesn't mean we have to give in to them. Keep an eye on your daughter, coach.
- T. S. Garp: My name is T.S. Garp.
- Helen Holm: What's T.S. stand for?
- T. S. Garp: Terribly Sexy. I used to be Terribly Shy, but I changed.
- T. S. Garp: Is this your first time?
- Cushie: No. I thought so. Where's your thing?
- T. S. Garp: Where's what?
- Cushie: Your thing.
- T. S. Garp: My thing? Don't you have a hold of it?
- Cushie: No, your glove.
- T. S. Garp: My glove?
- Cushie: Look, I don't want babies. No glove, no love.
- T. S. Garp: Do you always wear a sweat suit?
- Helen Holm: Don't you like it?
- T. S. Garp: Yes, I just imagining what you'd be like without it. I mean, in a dress. I spend a lot of time imagining things, you know. Part of my training as a writer. All real writers imagine.
- Jenny Fields: Do you like her?
- T. S. Garp: She's very nice, Mom, but...
- Jenny Fields: What is it about her that you want? I don't mean just her sex parts. I mean, is there something else that's satisfying?
- T. S. Garp: Well, it's a combination.
- Jenny Fields: How do you feel to be wanted in that way? Does it degrade you to have my son want you in that way? Or do you think it only degrades him?
- The Hooker: I don't know.
- Jenny Fields: Do you want her? Do you want her like you want Helen? Is it the same kind of want? You really want to have sex with her. Well, do you?
- T. S. Garp: Yes. Of course I do.
- The Hooker: Don't give me money here!
- Jenny Fields: Why not?
- T. S. Garp: Because it's illegal, Mom.
- Jenny Fields: Why?
- T. S. Garp: Because it is, that's why.
- Jenny Fields: That's silly. It's her body. Why shouldn't she use it the way she wants to?
- T. S. Garp: That's not fair. I showed you mine. You should show me yours.
- Jenny Fields: What do you think you're doing? Playing "Doctor's Office" with Cushie?
- The Hooker: Hey, look, it's all right with me if your mother wants to buy me for you. But she can't come along with us.
- T. S. Garp: Oh, Jesus, no.
- The Hooker: Absolutely not. I will *not* have her watching us. I am still a Catholic, believe it or not. You want anything funny like that, you just go over to 8th Avenue.
- Jenny Fields: I don't intend to watch.
- T. S. Garp: What the hell does she know about lust? She never felt it. Not even once. Some authority she is. It's like listening to a plant describe the motives of a mammal.
- Roberta: You have one hell of a way of making converts to civilization. The only thing you've inherited from your mother - is your natural ability to piss people off.
- T. S. Garp: How old are you?
- Babysitter: 18.
- T. S. Garp: 18. 18 - is there any word in the English language as sexy as that?
- Babysitter: How old are you?
- T. S. Garp: 30.
- Babysitter: Mmm. 30. Dirty 30?
- T. S. Garp: Are you really 18?
- T. S. Garp: Michael Milton. Is that his name?
- Helen Holm: Yes.
- T. S. Garp: It sounds like a flavor in a gay ice cream parlor. Strawberry Swirl, Chock-full of Chocolate, Mocha Madness, Michael Milton.
- T. S. Garp: Let's make love.
- Helen Holm: I don't think so.
- T. S. Garp: Don't you think I want to?
- Helen Holm: No, I don't think I want to.
- T. S. Garp: I do. I really, really do.
- Helen Holm: I don't. I really don't. I want to finish reading this story.
- T. S. Garp: You're reading another writer in my bed, Helen. That's adultery!
- Babysitter: What does the T.S. stand for?
- T. S. Garp: Terribly Sad. It used to be Terribly Sexy, but I changed.
- Babysitter: Oh, I don't think so.
- T. S. Garp: Really?
- T. S. Garp: Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never even notice that this is as beautiful as life gets. I just feel happy that I noticed. I had a beautiful life today. I even died and lived to tell about it. What a day. What a day!
- Young Cushie: I know how to make babies.
- Young Garp: I know, too.
- Young Cushie: How could you? You don't have a father. You're a bastard. But I'll teach you... All right, first thing is: I have a headache. Oh, my head. I have a headache. Not tonight. Now, you're supposed to attack me and pull my clothes off.
- Young Garp: You sure?
- T. S. Garp: Do you think I'm going to be a real writer?
- Helen Holm: I do. Oh, I do!
- T. S. Garp: And you said you'd only marry a real writer.
- Helen Holm: I did. And I do.
- T. S. Garp: I do, too.
- T. S. Garp: I wish I had known you when you were 15. I really wish I'd known you when you were 5 - near 5. I wish we grew up together as kids. That way, I could see you flat-chested and watch you as your breasts grew.
- Helen Holm: You'll get to see my breasts sag, my teeth fall out, and my hair turn gray.
- T. S. Garp: I just really love it.
- Helen Holm: What?
- T. S. Garp: Being a father. Being a husband and a father. Oh, I really adore it.
- [looking at the kids sleeping]
- T. S. Garp: will never ever write anything that lovely.
- T. S. Garp: Let's go look at the kids.
- Helen Holm: We looked at them last night.
- T. S. Garp: I know. But I really feel a need to look at them. For both of us to look at them.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
Top Gap
By what name was The World According to Garp (1982) officially released in India in Hindi?
Answer