- [first lines]
- Mrs. Odlesh: It isn't as splashy as some other places, but we pride ourselves on being a little classier.
- Tod Hackett: [referring to a large crack in the plaster wall] Hmmm, the crack's real.
- Mrs. Odlesh: Oh yes. We call this our earthquake cottage. Mrs. Porter had occupancy then. During the big one in '33. Property damage ran into the millions.
- Tod Hackett: Will you fix it if I stayed for a while?
- Mrs. Odlesh: Oh no! No! This is our showplace. Mrs. Porter wouldn't let us touch that wall. She worked that sampler herself to cover over the hole. Alrighty. I hope you'll be very happy here.
- Tod Hackett: Thank you.
- Homer Simpson: Oh, Lord, forgive me for harboring such unworthy thoughts, but sometimes I wish I could tear it all down!
- Claude Estee: Sometimes I wonder what we're doing here... grown men making mud pies to sell to the great unwashed.
- Announcer at Premiere: Good evening ladies and gentlemen in radioland. We're speaking to you from the forecourt of Grauman's Chinese Theater here in Hollywood, California where tonight thousands upon thousands of people have gathered to pay their respects to the great showman Cecil B. DeMille and the world premiere of THE BUCCANEER, starring Fredric March, Anthony Quinn, Douglass Dumbrille, Walter Brennan, Beulah Bondi, you name 'em we've got them in this great picture here tonight.
- Faye: [Stepping out her front door, eating a breakfast muffin] Hi.
- Tod Hackett: Hi, beautiful morning.
- Faye: Sure is, got a car ?
- Tod Hackett: No.
- Faye: Should. In this town it's a necessity. Where you heading to ?
- Tod Hackett: Paramount.
- Faye: Damn, we can't even share a cab.
- [pushing a piece of muffin into Tod's mouth]