- Peter Gunn: Immortality is a happy childhood.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: What's your point?
- Peter Gunn: We grow up and we die. Worrying about it just gets us there a little sooner.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: Trite, but not very original.
- Mother: [being pressured by gangsters for "protection" money] Pete, you think you can get Fusco to lay off?
- Peter Gunn: You think you can store Lake Michigan in your basement?
- Peter Gunn: Something about a new grave makes me want to run a four-minute mile, get drunk and shack up with a redhead. Not necessarily in that order.
- Peter Gunn: [off to see Daisy Jane] It won't take long.
- Edie: [annoyed with him for going] I'm surprised you admit it.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: There's a rumor that you might be considering certain reprisals against the party or parties responsible for the demise of the late Mr. Scarlotti.
- Peter Gunn: Interesting rumor.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: This is going to get worse before it gets better.
- Peter Gunn: It's a possibility.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: I don't want you around steaming up my glasses.
- Samantha: [reluctant to leave Gunn's bedroom] You don't know what you'll be missing...
- Peter Gunn: [expecting Edie any minute] I know what you'll be missing if my friend shows up before you're out of here!
- Police Lt. Jacoby: Tell you what: I'll promise to stop worrying if you promise to butt out. After all, what did Scarlotti ever do for you?
- Peter Gunn: Saved my life.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: Sure, but what else?
- Peter Gunn: You've got a point, lieutenant.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: [harangued by Gunn for not arresting Fusco] Next time I bust Fusco, I'm gonna make it stick. I want him just as much as you do, Pete.
- Peter Gunn: [angry, and about to leave] If you wanted him as much as I do, you'd have picked him up an hour ago.
- Police Lt. Jacoby: Pete - I'll go after you just as fast as I go after Fusco.
- Peter Gunn: [exiting] Then I've got nothing to worry about!
- Daisy Jane: How do you know I didn't get you over here just to seduce you?
- Peter Gunn: That wouldn't make you tight about the eyes.
- Edie: [while passionately kissing] I sense something.
- Peter Gunn: I should hope so.
- Edie: No, something else.
- Peter Gunn: Well, a pinch of this, a dash of that and it all adds up.
- Edie: There's a definite lack of stability in that kiss.
- Peter Gunn: Well, that's ridiculous. I built my professional reputation on stable kisses.
- Edie: Really?
- Peter Gunn: Done some of my best work in stables.
- Edie: I still cant help but feel that kiss included among other things a certain degree of instability.
- Peter Gunn: [teasingly] I refuse to stand here and allow my professional reputation to be challenged by fresh-faced novice.
- Tinker: Even alcoholics have a caste-system. To offer a beer to one of the hundred-proof elite is like offering Count Dracula chicken soup.