The Silencers (1966)

Dean Martin: Matt Helm

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tina : This is just like old times.

  Matt Helm : Yeah, especially with that body on the floor.

  [Pointing to Barbara in the background, who has just been shot twice in the back by Tina] 

  Tina : What do we do with *her*?

  Matt Helm : You put her on ice, let ICE take care of it.

  Tina : And what happens when the maid walks in, in the morning?

  Matt Helm : You know, you're right. Let's put her in my bed, so we don't arouse suspicion.

  [Matt and Tina start walking towards Barbara's body, cut] 

• Matt Helm : Don't you think we should be introduced first?

  Barbara : You're Matt Helm.

  Matt Helm : Good enough for me.

• Gail Hendrix : What are you doing!

  Matt Helm : Ah, shut up! And don't open your mouth until you get to the hotel!

  Gail Hendrix : Well, how do you expect me to breathe?

  Matt Helm : Don't!

• Gail Hendrix : I want some music.

  [Gail turns on car radio, Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" plays] 

  Matt Helm : Oh, turn him off, he's terrible!

  [Gail changes the station, Dean Martin's "Everybody Loves Somebody" plays] 

  Matt Helm : Now there's a guy that can sing!

• [after Gail had splashed water on Matt, she then spills a drink on him after falling over when he's lighting her cigarette] 

  Gail Hendrix : Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

  Matt Helm : Yeah, I know you are.

• Matt Helm : You'd better take those clothes off before you catch pneumonia! Well, at least take the shoe off and the stockings off.

  Gail Hendrix : You do it.

• Matt Helm : I couldn't help noticing, but, these are your clothes?

  Barbara : What if they are?

  Matt Helm : Oh, I know you have a headache but don't take it out on me, I mean, what should I do with these?

  Barbara : [in a breathy voice]  Just throw them anywhere. I won't be needing them 'til morning.

• Matt Helm : But I've been on leave from I.C.E. for a long time. As far as I'm concerned, I am out of it.

  Tina : [pouring herself a drink]  You're never out of Ice.

• Tina : [concerned about a sniper outside]  But what happens if he hits the gas tank?

  Matt Helm : Smokey the Bear won't like it. Get in.

• Tina : Are you on a vacation?

  Gail Hendrix : Oh well, eh, I was on a tour, a sight-seeing tour. But eh, the man in charge of our group kept taking me places that weren't in the brochure.

  Matt Helm : Where was that?

  Gail Hendrix : His room.

• Matt Helm : [to Tina]  Making love to you is like playing Russian Roulette.

• Gail Hendrix : Mr. Helm, now do I look like an enemy agent?

  Matt Helm : Well I dunno, I haven't seen the latest models yet.

• Gail Hendrix : You undressed me once and I didn't like it.

  Matt Helm : Now, you're confusing romance with first aid!

• Matt Helm : My name is Chump. Matt Chump.

• Tina : [trying to get Matt to switch sides]  You'll just die...

  Matt Helm : Not in your bed.

  Tina : What better place is there?

• Matt Helm : Well, they finally figured out how to get blood out of a stone...

• Matt Helm : [to Gail]  You know, if you were an Indian, Custer would still be alive.

• Barbara : What's in Acapulco that you can't find here?

  Matt Helm : Mexicans.

• Matt Helm : Miss Kravezit...

  Lovey Kravezit : Mr. Helm... would you please call me by my first name?

  Matt Helm : Well, I don't *know* your first name.

  Lovey Kravezit : It's "Lovey."

  Matt Helm : [slightly incredulous]  "Lovey Kravezit"?

  Lovey Kravezit : Mm hmm.

  Matt Helm : Oh, that's some kind of name!

  [laughs] 

• Matt Helm : Talk about a booby trap. That's a crazy holster.

• [repeated line] 

  Matt Helm : Have you been vaccinated?

• Gail Hendrix : Thought I couldn't drink, couldn't I.

  Matt Helm : Um, what's Operation Fallout?

  Gail Hendrix : That's for you to know and me to find out. I mean, vicer verserer.

• Tina aka Cowboy : [after Matt has a wet first encounter with Gail at the swimming pool]  I can't leave you alone for a second, can I?

  Matt Helm : Not if you want to keep me dry.

  Tina aka Cowboy : [Discussing Gail]  Quite a girl.

  Matt Helm : That is not a girl, Tina. That's a disaster area.

• Matt Helm : The soap, please, Miss Kravezit.

• Matt Helm : [picking up the phone]  Wrong hacienda.

• Tina : Would you undo the rest please.

  Matt Helm : There's too many buttons.

  Tina : Getting there is half the fun.

• Tina : We've got plenty of time to get to Phoenix.

  Matt Helm : Well, there's a motel on the highway. We can stop and rest.

  Tina : Well, aren't we domesticated.

• Tina : I must say, she got you undressed a lot faster than I ever did.

  Matt Helm : No contest.

• Matt Helm : Everybody loves a lover.

• Tina : I can't work alone. Besides, you know the territory.

  Matt Helm : Get yourself a map.

• Gail Hendrix : Your own little sex wagon. Are you gonna lock me in?

  Matt Helm : If you don't run away.