Get to Know Your Rabbit (1972)

Tom Smothers: Donald Beeman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Donald Beeman : We could start working this morning.

  Mr. Delasandro : You know, I'll have to be at my most ruthless and demanding. You may even learn to - hate me.

  Donald Beeman : Well, I don't care for you very much anyway.

• Donald Beeman : What if you gave me extra coaching lessons? I could work 24 hours a day, if necessary.

  Mr. Delasandro : To work that hard - would be unfair to your rabbit.

• Donald Beeman : Ladies and gentlemen, I would like your attention. For, in just one short moment, a lady's gonna come out here and take off almost all of her clothes!

• Mr. Delasandro : Donald Beeman, I hereby designate you tap dancing magician magna cum laude. Pass your hand through the candle flame.

  Donald Beeman : What?

  Mr. Delasandro : Pass your hand through the flame. It's symbolic.

• [last lines] 

  Donald Beeman : One. Two. Three. Escape!

• Miss Parsons : I love magicians. Magic is my life, Mr. Beeman. You haven't seen my tricks, Mr. Beeman. I want to see your magic wand.

  [unzip's Donald's fly] 

  Donald Beeman : Miss Parsons!

  Miss Parsons : Mr. Beeman, I won't hurt your magic wand.

• Terrific-Looking Girl : Oh, God. It's them!

  Donald Beeman : What?

  Terrific-Looking Girl : Those are the hands that - take the rabbit out of the hat. Oh, they just make me shivery. Ohh! Ah! Oh!

• Donald Beeman : Is Mr. Turnbull still here?

  TDM Secretary : He's in the John. Don't worry. He's quick.

• Mr. Delasandro : Now then, I'm the heckler, right? I've been needling you for the last ten minutes, right? Time now for you to strike back with all the style and wits at your command.

  Donald Beeman : Up yours, fella!

  Mr. Delasandro : Not bad. Not bad.

• Paula : Is that a little homework?

  Donald Beeman : Oh, each one of the students is issued one of these on enrollment and I thought I'd bring mine home because the instructor said one of the cardinal rules is, "get to know your rabbit." I got a good rabbit, too.

  Paula : It doesn't suit you!

• Vic : That's nice. That's very nice. Is that nice or not?

  Susan : Yes, it's very nice. It's nice.

  Vic : It's nice. That's what I said. Donald, Donald the show's over here, Donald.

  [takes Donald had and places it on Susan's breast] 

  Vic : Know what I like about this, Donald? L and S. Never forget that. It lifts - and it separates, Donald. It lifts and separates. Huh?

  Donald Beeman : Is this all we'll be doing? Her just trying on bras?

  Vic : These are brassieres, Donald. Don't forget it.

  Donald Beeman : Oh, yeah. Brassieres.

  Vic : Yeah, you'll learn. Don't worry. I just gotta get a clearer picture of the situation. Now, keep your hand there. That's right.

• Donald Beeman : I don't know exactly how to ask you this, but, how long have you been a cheap broad?

  Susan : Well, it's an off-and-on thing.

• Vic : How the hell are you, Donald-bay? Listen, Donald-baby, why don't we go to the party? We'll find it for ourselves, huh?

  Donald Beeman : Well, I was planning to spend a quiet evening rehearsing with my rabbit.

  Vic : Your rabbit. Ha! That's very funny. I like a sense of humor. Come on, put the rabbit down. We'll go and find the party. It would be crazy to pass up a little party like this. It started last night, it's gonna be going on for four or five more days. Come on, what do you say, huh?

  Donald Beeman : I guess my rabbit won't mind.

• Donald Beeman : You're very pretty.

  Terrific-Looking Girl : Oh, glad you think so. This doesn't hurt or anything, does it?

  Donald Beeman : You're a terrific-looking girl.

  Terrific-Looking Girl : Really? Oh, I'm glad you think so.

• Donald Beeman : Hi. I'm Donald Beeman, tap dancing magician.

  Mr. Reese : Well, that's all going to have to wait for now. Because I just got a phone call from my wife. There's a man under our porch.

• Donald Beeman : My rabbit caught a little cold, but is fine now.

  Mr. Turnbull : That's fine. That's fine.

  Donald Beeman : I'm really living life at the gut level.