The Phantom Tollbooth (1970)

Cliff Norton: Kakofonous A. Dischord, Tollbooth Speaker

Quotes 

• The Tollbooth : Results are not guaranteed, but if not perfectly satisfied, your wasted time will be refunded.

• Spelling Bee : Please do not be alarmed. A-L-A-R-M-E-D, alarmed. I know that boys are often afraid of bees. B-E-E-S, bees. But let me assure you my intentions are peaceful. P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L.

  Milo : And you don't sting?

  Spelling Bee : Sting? Oh, I can sting, but I don't. But I can spell anything. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

• Senses Taker : Names! I must have your names before you can proceed!

  Milo : Well, uh, this is the Humbug.

  Senses Taker : Humbug.

  Milo : This is Tock.

  Senses Taker : Tock.

  Milo : And my name is Milo. Now can we go?

  Senses Taker : Milo. Ooh, I haven't had an M in ages. Now then, if you will just tell me when you were born, where you were born, why you were born, how old you are, how old you were then, what grade you're in, your shoe size, shirt size, collar size, hat size, and the names and bank references of six people who can verify this information! Then you can go.

  Milo : What do you need all this for? We're in a hurry.

  Senses Taker : I'm the official Senses Taker! I must have this information before I take your senses! So, now then, if you will fill out in triplicate your height, your weight, how many ice-cream cones you eat in a week, how many you don't eat in a week...

  Milo : We can't waste the time! We've got to get to the Castle in the Air!

  Senses Taker : That does it! Now, I'm going to take your sense of duty, your sense of proportion, and especially your sense of direction!

  Tock : Milo, the bottle of laughter! Use this bottle of laughter I got from Dr. Discord! He can't take away our sense of humor!

• Humbug : Oh, come now, don't be ill-mannered - isn't someone going to introduce me to this little boy? A fine manly little fellow...

  Spelling Bee : This is the Humbug - H-U-M-B-U-G- A very dislikable fellow.

  Humbug : Nonsense! Everyone loves a Humbug. 'Insectius Humbugius,' if I may use the Latin.

  Spelling Bee : 'Insectius Humbugius?' Why, you fraud! You can't even spell your own name!