- Major Race: Is that your wife?
- Lt. Col. Hyde: Yes.
- Major Race: Is she dead?
- Lt. Col. Hyde: No, no. I regret to say the bitch is still going strong.
- Major Race: Well, remember rule two, old darling. Never get ahead of the mob. They're liable to shoot you in the arse.
- Hyde: [during the planning of the theft of guns from the army] When we leave our card, we shall have to provide the authorities with a scapegoat. In this case, I'm relying on the British character. We British will always give the Germans, the Russians, the Japanese, or even the Egyptians the benefit of the doubt, but *never* the Irish. So, throughout this exercise, if we use our accents judiciously, the IRA will get the credit, and the blame.
- Major Race: [after Hyde has explained his plan]
- Major Race: Alright, I'm sold. I'll sign on, for the duration.
- Lt. Col. Hyde: On my terms? Equal shares for all?
- Major Race: Well, if you insist on this socialistic nonsense, yes. You're losing a friend, but gaining a second-in-command.
- Lt. Col. Hyde: I'll settle for that.
- [they drink a toast]
- Hyde: We can't afford to waste all the work we're doing just because one man wants to be a hero. I've nothing against heroes, except they usually crook it for other people.
- Mycroft: [playing a Brigadier inspecting the training camp in response to some private who has 'complained to his MP' regarding the food]
- [enters Mess Hall]
- Mycroft: Carry on eating. Any complaints here?
- Captain Saunders: Come along now. Answer the Brigadier.
- Other Private in Mess: No, Sir.
- Mycroft: You're, um, quite satisfied with the food. You can speak quite freely.
- Chunky Grogan: Well, er, no, Sir. Not always, Sir.
- [CSM gives a menacing look]
- Mycroft: What exactly don't you like about it?
- Chunky Grogan: Well, er, they sometimes give you good grub, sir, but, er, they mess it about like.
- Mycroft: How do you mean, mess it about?
- Chunky Grogan: Well, take Sunday, Sir. I mean, er, we had a fair whack of the old roast and that and gravy and stuff, but they messed it about like. You know.
- Mycroft: Specifically?
- Chunky Grogan: Beg your pardon sir?
- Mycroft: What did they do to it?
- Chunky Grogan: Oh1 Oh, well, I'm not a cook am I? I only go by what I taste, like, and, er, it didn't taste right, see. It sort of tasted like they'd messed it about, like.
- Mycroft: What's this man's name?
- Captain Saunders: Mmm?
- C.S.M.: Grogan, Sir.
- Mycroft: That's all, is it?
- Chunky Grogan: Well, that was only last Sunday, sir.
- Mycroft: What about today's meal?
- Chunky Grogan: Oh, well, very fair, sir. You know, if you like eggs. I mean, they're not great favourites of mine, but, er, you've gotta eat them to keep your strength up, like.
- Mycroft: [sucks air through teeth] Yes.
- [walks off with entourage]
- Other Private in Mess: [other privates at table congratulate worthy Grogan, clapping him on the back] Well done, Rolly.
- Chunky Grogan: Well, bleedin' asked me, didn't he?
- Lexy: [asked if he's hoping for a dirty weekend with his girlfriend] I'm hoping for a dirty year. If I live that long.
- Lt. Col. Hyde: And you said you weren't nasty.
- Major Race: Oh, I'm not. It's just the way my mind works sometimes. You know - in vicious circles.
- Lt. Col. Hyde: Enjoy your meal, gentlemen. You know the old saying, "If a Rich man eat when you will, if a Poor man... when you can."
- Elizabeth: [firmly declining her husband's desire for conjugal intimacy] You've had your porridge for this week!
- Porthill: Don't tip him - I took care of it.
- Blonde Kissing Porthill in Car: You took care of me... too!
- Porthill: I'll call you, baby.
- Lexy: Talking to Porthill about Hyde - He's a nutcase you know, no getting away from it. He'll end up with a knighthood.
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Top Gap
By what name was The League of Gentlemen (1960) officially released in India in English?
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