- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [as Sach sits in a children's airplane ride machine] Dhat thing will not circumnavigate unless you put a dime in it.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Don't get excited, now. We gotta go about this thing in a regular perspectus of the law.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: If they harm one hair on Dave's head, they have to answer to me. Whatever they do to Dave, they have to do to me!
- Louie Dumbrowsky: But, Sach, if David is found guilty, they'll stand him up against a wall and shoot him.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Well, I guess Dave's in this thing alone.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Sgt. Brosky, I was just amusin' the boys and myself with a little filet of idle banter.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: Tell me the truth, Slip. How did you escape?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Escape? Louie, you don't escape from the guard house. Dhat would be perjury. I just stood on my indelible rights and I told fellas a piece of thing or two, so they opened the doors and let me out. What else could they do?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [mistaking recruitment forms for visitor forms] Sure ask a lot of questions for two guys just visitin' my friend Dave.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Don't ya understand they gotta keep a certain amount of security on dhese bases, hence dhese impoitinent interrogations.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [returning to the form] Let's see. "Born." Yes. "Parents." One of each -- two.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Bars, bars, bars... They do somethin' to me!
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Yeah, they keep ya in.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Dhis is the millennium! We got important matters to attend to and you're teain' and fudgin' it up all afternoon. I'd like to belt you but I don't wanna bend the hat .
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: You coitainly got us into an ambidextrous mess THIS time!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: *I* got us into an ambidextrous mess? YOU were the guy! You said the right, but the guy said...
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Ehhh, shut up! Dhere's Barracks H, and dhere's Barracks C. Well, I guess dhis is where we disintegrate, and I'm coitainly glad!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: But I'm gonna miss you, Chief.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, I ain't gonna miss YOU.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: But I'm gonna miss you.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, I regurgitate -- dhat means to repeat -- I ain't gonna miss YOU!
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Sach, I think we better get out to the air base and have a private filibuster with Dave and find out the facts, then we'll rent a mouthpiece and get him released on a writ of habeas corpuscle.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: You're right, Chief. How far is that air base?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: About thirty miles as the crow flies.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Do I look like a crow?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: No, but if they ever declare open season on pelicans, you better duck.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: That's ridiculous. Dave wouldn't do a thing like that. It's absolutely inedible.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Yeah, you and your book! Suppose you're at 6,000 feet and dhere's a tropigraphical error in the book. Whadda gonna do, come down and get a new one?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, here we are, fourth building to the right!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Oh, Chief, the man said fourth building on the left.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Dhere you go buttin' in again with that freight train nose of yours! What, do you t'ink I got, a regular mitosis of the ear? I hoid what the man said! Just follow me!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I'll follow ya but I got a feeling you're gonna be sorry.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Chief, how come we never carry guns?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Because wit' you around I'd wind up in the electric chair.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Well, they must be around here somewhere. The car couldn't get here by itelf.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Dhat's a very declamatory reduction.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Correction, Colonel. I t'ink maybe the Rover Boys here can do a better job of embellishing on the details., especially since I just gave each one of 'em a shot of their own truth cereal. Start talkin', ugly.
- Cralia Dupree: I have a dozen aliases, but my real name is Cralia Dupree. I've been tryin' to steal your military secrets. I'm guilty of espionage and criminal conspiracy. These papers incriminate me.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Dhat's a better job than I thought you could do. Now you, mustache.
- Joe Eckler: I have been working with Dupree and all his underhanded doings and am equally guilty of espionage. These papers will put me in prison where I belong.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Now, that's what I might call a capital confession. Last but not least, we'll hear a few words from the overstuffed bundle of spoiled vegetation.
- [snaps fingers]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Shorty, start talkin'.
- Anders: I am the biggest rat of them all. Here are my papers.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Colonel, I think that ought to wrap up the while thing.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I want cha to keep both chore feet confirmly planted on terra cottage.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Oh. no, oh no. After a crack-up like that, I must go right back up in the air. It says so in my flying lessons.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: [nearly choking on his cigar] Did you say you were taking flying lessons?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Don't pay any attention to him, Louie. I think dhe ride in that whirly-gig is infected the corregations of his brain shells.
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