- Guy Johnson: You sort of changed my whole philosophy about women. I don't know... I always figured they kind of ended at the neck. You sort of begin there.
- Sergeant Koretz: Well, I thought he was a celebrity, on account of his pants wasn't pressed, and he was wearing them glasses.
- Guy Johnson: Now listen, stupid. I've committed a few crimes here and there, but I'm no criminal.
- Edwina Corday: It's all in the point of view, isn't it?
- Guy Johnson: Did you ever see anybody with a bullet hole through the head and his brains all leaking out?
- Edwina Corday: Oh, you know, you're so sweet to worry about me like that.
- Fred 'Cap' Streeter: Did you get the bridegroom sobered up?
- Guy Johnson: Temporarily.
- Fred 'Cap' Streeter: That wedding march kind of washes you up on that Heyward job, don't it?
- Guy Johnson: No, I'm still head nurse.
- Fred 'Cap' Streeter: Say, listen; you ain't gonna spend your youth fishin' that rubber-legs out of saloons. It's undignified... even for a private detective.
- Guy Johnson: For a hundred bucks a week, nothing's undignified. That's my theory.
- Fred 'Cap' Streeter: He ain't by any chance taking you on his honeymoon, is he?
- Guy Johnson: Oh, no, he's gonna handle that himself. I'm playing backstop.