- Millie De Grasse: Oh! Oh, Dorothy, feel my heart, feel my pulse. Something has stopped. Oh, maybe I'm dead?
- [Millie has just spotted movie star Brooks Mason on the deck of a cruise ship]
- Millie De Grasse: My dream man! I'm gonna meet him in person. And I warn you, if he makes one false move, I'm his!
- Dorothy March: I suppose you think it'll do you a lot of good to throw yourself at him.
- Millie De Grasse: Throw myself at him? If I thought it would do any good, I'd have myself shot at him out of a cannon!
- Brooks Mason: That's Hollywood, you know, my dear.
- Cecelia Grayson: Hollywood?
- Brooks Mason: Eh, I'll never forget one night at Joan Crawford's. Norma Shearer and I...
- Cecelia Grayson: You met Joan Crawford and Norma Shearer?
- Brooks Mason: Oh, yes. Norma and Myrna - Myrna Loy - were with me all the time.
- Cecelia Grayson: Well, no wonder you never got time to write.
- Brooks Mason: Cecelia, I made up my mind when I left Hawaii, I would make myself worthy of you. I was determined to come back to you a different man.
- Cecelia Grayson: Who taught ya how to kiss?
- Brooks Mason: Eh... Mickey Rooney.
- Millie De Grasse: So, you're going to go through with it. You're gonna marry this Grayson girl just because she has a big plantation with lovely pineapples.
- Washington: Oh, Mr. Mason, you said you'd do it, but, I didn't believe you. Why didn't you ask me? I'd a told you jumpin' out of a window was bad luck.
- Brooks Mason: What's it like in Hawaii?
- George Smith: Oh, there's nothing much to do there. Just peace and quiet.
- Brooks Mason: You're the guy they thought was me. Say, you do look like me. You look as much like me as I do. Huh, even more.
- George Smith: Why, you're Brooks Mason. I've been mistaken for you lots of times in Hawaii.
- Brooks Mason: Are you an Hawaiian?
- George Smith: Oh, no. I have a plantation there.
- Brooks Mason: Pineapples?
- George Smith: Yes, I grow pineapples. How did you know that?
- Brooks Mason: Well, all I know about Hawaii is is pineapples and ukuleles. And you can't grow ukuleles.
- Brooks Mason: Hey, who are you? What do you want? An autograph? How'd you get here?
- George Smith: I - I was just going to ask you that.
- Brooks Mason: I live here.
- George Smith: No, I was going to ask you how I got here.
- Brooks Mason: Did you see a ghost?
- Washington: Yeah. That's it. You jumped out the window and you dead. I'm gone!
- Brooks Mason: Don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts.
- Washington: Mr. Mason, when folks is dead, I'm through with 'em!
- Washington: If they're going to keep tearing your clothes like this, you'll have to take plenty of suits wit cha. Six weeks in New York. There must be seven or eight days in a week. Multiply them together. Six weeks, eh, let's make it eight days in the week - just to be on the safe side. Six times eight. Eight times six? Seems to me I oughta know how much that is. Let's call it thirty. Yep! You'll need thirty suits. I knew I'd get it if I got my revision separated from my abstractions. Yes, sah.
- Millie De Grasse: Ohhh. Oh, Dot! Dot! Oh, am I excited, am I thrilled, am I all goose pimples. Am I? Am I? Well, of course, I am.
- Millie De Grasse: [singing] I'm on my merry way, I'm on a holiday, I mean, I'm on my way to Honolulu. The days just drift along, The nights are filled with song, I hope, That I'm not wrong on Honolulu. I bought a ukulele, I practice on it daily, It sounds wicky-wacky-waily, My hula-hula song...
- Millie De Grasse: [clapping after Dorothy finishes her "Honolulu" dance] Isn't that wonderful?
- Lifeguard on Ship: It's swell.
- Millie De Grasse: You know, she keeps spinning like that all the time - and I'm always dizzy.
- Brooks Mason: Now, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dorothy March and her impersonation of Bill Robinson, the King of Harlem!
- [Dorothy dances in black face]
- Millie De Grasse: I thought she'd never get over her fright. We nearly died until the doctor came.
- Brooks Mason: What was the trouble?
- Millie De Grasse: Well, she woke up one night and she looked down and both her feet were black. But, when the doctor came, he took off her stockin's and then we all went back to bed.
- Joe Duffy: Will you take it easy please and don't drop him.
- Pallbearer: Brother, we never drop 'em till we get to the hole.
- Groucho 1, Groucho 2, Chico, Harpo: [singing] Oh, the leader doesn't like jazz, jazz, A zazz-zoo-zazz, A razzamatazz, A tooty-toot-toot, And a rinky dink ahh
- Groucho 2: He hates a Bach toccata
- Chico: And he hates a Brahms sonata
- Groucho 1: And a symphony by Haydn makes him swear
- Groucho 1, Groucho 2, Chico, Harpo: He despises Paganini, Or an opera by Rossini, And a Strauss waltz makes him tear his hair...
- Dorothy March: This is Millicent De Grasse.
- Brooks Mason: How do you do, Miss De Grasse?
- Millie De Grasse: Oh, just call me Millie and cut De Grasse.
- Millie De Grasse: I don't think my boyfriend likes me any more.
- Dorothy March: Oh, so you found a friend already?
- Millie De Grasse: Well, he's not exactly a friend. I met him in the elevator. He said, "Where you going tonight, girlie?" And I said, "Third floor." And he said, "How about going downstairs for a bite?" So, we went downstairs and I bit him.
- Brooks Mason: I've never seen you looking more beautiful. And I missed you terribly. My mind was full of you. I kept subconsciously seeing you and hearing you and touching...
- Dorothy March: There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
- Millie De Grasse: Well, that may be all right for you, but, I'm not the babe I used to be.
- Wong: Me know. Me know.
- Brooks Mason: Hey, what is this "me know" business?
- Wong: Me know you Brooks Mason.
- Cecelia Grayson: Darling.
- [short kiss turns into a long kiss]
- Cecelia Grayson: Why, George, you've changed. I don't know what it is exactly, but, you're different somehow.
- Brooks Mason: [impersonating George Smith] Different? How?
- Cecelia Grayson: Well, you, sort of take hold of things.
- Brooks Mason: Well, you said I needed a new approach.
- Cecelia Grayson: Approach, nothing. You've arrived!
- Brooks Mason: I'm afraid it wouldn't work. In a few weeks you'll be going back to the mainland to go on with your dancing, your career; and I'll be left here with a memory and a few pineapples.
- Cecelia Grayson: We'll work it out some way, darling.
- Cecelia Grayson: We had a quarrel and I told him he was a dull, stupid, naive farmer. So, he went to Hollywood - to become a man.
- Mr. Horace Grayson: To become a man. Well, nobody's going to spend my money on movie actresses! Unless, it's me.
- Millie De Grasse: Would I lie to you? Oh, Mr. Grayson, you don't know what it's like to live with a crook. To go to sleep every night with a gun under your husband's pillow. You don't know what its like to kiss your husband goodbye every morning and not know whether he'll come home to dinner dead or alive.
- Dorothy March: Whatever you did, I'll stick by you. But, tell me the truth!
- Brooks Mason: I am telling you the truth!
- Dorothy March: I don't believe you.
- Jailer: Look, this is a jail. You get food and lodging, but, that's all. No phone calls, no horseback rides, and no pillow fights.
- Millie De Grasse: Ahh-ah-ah. Better you don't talk. The less you say the less you'll have to take back.
- Brooks Mason: But, I'm Brooks...
- Millie De Grasse: Oh, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Everyone else in this world is one person and you have to be two - and both of them no good!
- Brooks Mason: Now, listen here...
- Millie De Grasse: And chances are you're somebody else, some place else, and engaged to a *third* girl. It's a - it's - it's trigonometry! That's what it is. Now, get out of here you bigamist!
- Brooks Mason: You could have saved me all this. Why didn't you tell them who I was?
- Wong: You say no tell. Mr. Smith say no tell. Wong, who is servant, Wong no tell.
- Brooks Mason: But, you knew they were taking me off to jail.
- Wong: All the same me, Wong no tell 'em. If they hang you, all the same me, Wong no tell 'em.
- Brooks Mason: All the same me. All the same me. Wong some dumb.
- Wong: Oh, you speak Chinese?
- Dorothy March: If George Smith is engaged to Cecilia and Brooks Mason is engaged to Gale Brewster, couldn't you be Joe Doakes or Simple Simon or, maybe, eh, Pâté de Foie Gras. I really don't care who you are. Please don't annoy me anymore.
- Millie De Grasse: I think you're terrible, horrible, and despicable - and that's only a hint of what I *really* think of you.
- Brooks Mason: What do I care about head winds? Don't you realize I'm going to be married in a few minutes?
- Brooks Mason: She's crazy about you, now.
- George Smith: Now?
- Brooks Mason: Eh, well, I mean, I know she's crazy about you, by the way she kisses me.
- [Movie star Brooks Mason, played by Robert Taylor, is impersonating George Smith, a businessman, while romancing Dorothy March, a dancer]
- Brooks Mason: I'm afraid it wouldn't work. In a few weeks, you'll be going back to the mainland, along with your dancing, your career. I'll be left here with a memory and a few pineapples.
- Dorothy March: We'll work it out some way, darling.
- Brooks Mason: But it would be so much better if I were an actor. Someone in your business. For example, someone like Robert Taylor, or uh... maybe Brooks Mason.
- Dorothy March: No. No, I wouldn't care for Brooks Mason.
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