- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [to Crunk] Never give a sucker an even break and always keep an eye on your pals.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: You don't belong with a grifter like me. You just got some mud on your dress, that's all. Give it time, let it dry. It'll brush off.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Now watch this.
- [rolls dice]
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Seven.
- Captain Veronica Steadman: How do you do it?
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Influence. You bring me the right people, I'll get you that hundred thousand.
- Captain Veronica Steadman: But it's gambling!
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Not the way I do it.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Never Give a sucker an even break. But don't cheat a friend. I believe in that, I live by it. You don't think I'd play phony with you, well, you lost.
- Captain Veronica Steadman: Oh but I didn't know the rules of the game.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [Calling to handyman after slot machine pays off] Hey, Blubber! Fix this thing!
- Blubber: Something wrong, boss?
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: It pays!
- Hard Swede: [as Joe enters the car] Where did you get hat butt?
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [Smoking with an abdominal bullet wound] Well, i promoted it off a guy.
- Hard Swede: One cough out of you, and you'll fill this seat with oatmeal.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [to Dorothy] You bring me the right people; I'll get you that hundred thousand.
- Mr. Bryant: [angrily to Joe] Get out of here! Get out of here! Get your greasy black head out of here!
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Well, now this is quite a surprise!
- Dorothy Bryant: Not particularly. It so happens I rather expected it. And if you think your persistence is going to have any effect on me, you're mistaken.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Well, I can't see how you people can pass up $80,000 for the cause.
- Dorothy Bryant: For whose cause? If you're so interested in serving your cause, why don't you join the Army?
- Blood Bank Nurse: Next, please!
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Oh...
- [produces draft card]
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: 4F.
- Dorothy Bryant: You look 1A to me.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Hey, you don't look too bad yourself!
- [He chuckle, she stares, he lets out awkward groan]
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Well, it's my arteries.
- Blood Bank Nurse: Right this way...
- Dorothy Bryant: Well, should you be giving blood?
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Oh, well... my blood's 1A, just my arteries are 4F.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [as they're waiting in line to donate blood] Here I am giving my life's blood, and she don't trust my motives.
- Dorothy Bryant: The person who gets your life's blood will probably develop a sudden passion for the "dump" shot.
- Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Yeah, and the poor soldier that gets *your* blood, they can use him for an ice cube!
- Joe Adams -posing as Joe Bascopolous: I don't know what to make of a dame like you.
- Dorothy Bryant: Neither do I.
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