- Capt. Cassidy: There was a democratic movement in Japan after the last war. What happened?
- Reserve Officer Raymond: The leaders were assassinated.
- Andy - Executive Officer: Well, what about the people?
- Capt. Cassidy: They have no voice now. Starvation is the big stick, isn't it, Raymond?
- Reserve Officer Raymond: That's right, sir. The big wage is seven dollars a week. They have no unions, no free press... nothing.
- Capt. Cassidy: They do what they're told.
- Reserve Officer Raymond: I'm afraid most of them believe what they're told - like that "hero" who knifed your torpedo man. They've been sold a swindle, and they accept it.
- Andy - Executive Officer: But how can they support such big families on seven bucks a week?
- Reserve Officer Raymond: They don't. Daughters of the poor are often sold to factories, or... worse - when they're about 12.
- Capt. Cassidy: Females are useful there only to work or to have children. The Japs don't understand the love we have for our women. They don't even have a word for it in their language.
- Capt. Cassidy: I hear Japs are happy to die for their emperor. A lot of them are going to be made very happy.
- Capt. Cassidy: [Tom Adams has just been chided for mistaking a common seabird for an incoming bomber while he was on lookout watch; this forced the 'Copperfin' to make a needless emergency dive] That's all right, son. I'd rather submerge for one hundred birds, than NOT submerge for one plane.
- Tommy Adams: [Relieved] Thank you, sir.
- 'Cookie' Wainwright: [passing out Christmas presents, reading the labels] 'For Pills, the Pharmacist's Mate, a mournful knell; he dropped his vitamins down the periscope well!'
- [all hands laugh]
- 'Cookie' Wainwright: 'The new kid forward is wiser but sadder... since he stepped on the skipper coming down the ladder!'
- Tommy Adams: Hey, I apologized!
- [more laughter]
- 'Cookie' Wainwright: 'On Wolf's grave a wreath is laid, since he tangled his line with that chambermaid!'
- [more laughter as Wolf opens his present]
- Wolf: [pulling out a skimpy nightie] Aww, you shoulda had it filled!
- 'Cookie' Wainwright: 'All hands get ready to upchuck this dinner; with Cookie in the galley, we're gonna get thinner.'
- [pauses amid the laughter, acting offended]
- 'Cookie' Wainwright: Now listen! If that ain't a new high for gratitude... Who practically mothers all the guys on this ship? I do. Who bends over a hot stove all day long for you guys? I do. Who's gonna get all the glory when you sink a Jap ship? You, that's who! Who's gonna get all the medals out of this war? You guys! And what am I gonna get? Nothin' but varicose veins, and dishwatered hands! Yeah!
- Capt. Cassidy: There's lots of Mikes dying right now. And a lot more Mikes will die. Until we wipe out a system that puts daggers in the hands of five-year-old children.
- Reserve Officer Raymond: [during a depth charge attack] Captain, I'm no good.
- Capt. Cassidy: Why's that?
- Reserve Officer Raymond: I'm scared stiff.
- Capt. Cassidy: How do you think the rest of us feel?
- Reserve Officer Raymond: You're not scared. I've looked at your faces.
- Capt. Cassidy: I've looked at yours, too. It's the same as the others.
- Reserve Officer Raymond: You're scared?
- Capt. Cassidy: I'll say I am. And so is everybody else.
- Reserve Officer Raymond: [Just having come aboard the 'Copperfin'] Uh... How do I get below, sir? I... I've never been aboard a submarine before.
- Capt. Cassidy: [Slightly bemused, as he points to the only obvious entry into the submarine] There's the hatch. It goes 'down.'
- Reserve Officer Raymond: How'd you happen to volunteer for the submarine service, Captain?
- Capt. Cassidy: [Coyly] Well, when I was a kid, I used to get a kick outta' swimming underwater.
- Mike Conners: [Tommy Adams is starting look-out duty] Keep your eyes peeled Kid... we're *nobody's* friend! Even our *own* ships'll shoot *first* and ask questions *later*!
- Tommy Adams: You ever want to be a real doctor, Pills?
- Pills: Yeah... I was one of those college wise-guys who didn't know where he was going. Funny place to find out, on submarines.
- Tommy Adams: What college did you go to?
- Pills: California. Only a year. Then I signed up. I had an "A" in chemistry... so they made me a Pharmacists Mate.
- Capt. Cassidy: [Holding up the fuse mechanism of the Japanese bomb that Adams just defused] Got "Made in USA" stamped on it. The appeasers' "contribution" to the war effort.
- Capt. Cassidy: [Hands it to the cook] Take it and stew it, Cookie.
- Capt. Cassidy: [the 'Copperfin' has just completed its long transit to just off the coast of Japan] Attention all hands: We're lying off the Japanese mainland... Thought you'd like to know.
- Capt. Cassidy: [Attempting to sneak into heavily-guarded Tokyo harbor by concealing the sub under a warship overhead] Can we hug the cruiser any closer?
- Sound Man: We're just about kissing her now, sir.
- Capt. Cassidy: [Ponders the situation for a second] If we kiss her bottom, we get an "ash can" right down our neck.
- Capt. Cassidy: [the 'Copperfin' has torpedoed, but not yet sunk, a Japanese carrier] Take her *under* the carrier - we'll finish the job with the sting from our tail.
- 'Cookie' Wainwright: [During a particularly fierce depth-charging of the 'Copperfin'] Would any of you fellas be interested in a 1938 motor scooter?
- Wolf: [He and Tin Can have been forced to physically subdue Dakota, who's losing his grip during a particularly fierce depth-charging of the 'Copperfin'] Sorry I had to sock ya'.
- Tin Can: It was either your chin, or the boat, Dakota. There was nothing else we could do. We gotta' take it. We can't win if we can't take it. Don't you know that?
- Worker on Golden Gate Bridge: [as the USS Copperfin, returning from its perilous mission, transits beneath the Golden Gate Bridge, inbound for San Francisco] Hey Eddie, ya' think that sub saw any action?
- Other worker on Golden Gate Bridge: [Dismissively] Nah... Probably just out for a couple of practice dives.
- Narrator: To the United States Navy, our thanks for making this picture possible. To the gallant officers and men of the silent service, to our submarines on war patrol in hostile waters, good luck, and... good hunting!
- Wolf: [During a particularly fierce depth-charging of the 'Copperfin'] I wonder how the invasion of Europe is getting along?
- Sparks: [over the 1MC] The Captain has given permission to pick up the San Francisco newscast.
- Pills: [on the 1MC, disguising his voice] This broadcast is brought to you by the Friendly Credit Company. The Friendly Credit Company trusts you. Any amount from $25 to $1,000. And so, Christmas Day is bright on all fronts. Here at home, police are continuing with a manhunt for a sailor wanted in the Bay Area on several counts. The women making the complaints insist on prosecution. The sailor was last seen boarding a United States submarine at Mare Island. The sailor is known with the girls only as 'Wolf.'
- [Wolf spews his coffee all over a mess table]
- Mike Conners: Well, Wolfie!
- Wolf: Shut up.
- [heads for the radio shack]
- Pills: However, the Wolf's shipmates volunteered information to the police, enough to send him up for 1,042 years. The Wolf has been described as a body of man entirely surrounded by women. He's...
- Wolf: TERRIFIC!
- Pills: Terrific...!
- [trails off as he realizes Wolf is standing behind him]
- Pills: It's just a gag, Wolfie, just a gag.
- Tin Can: [after declining to attend Mike's burial] Look. I had an uncle, lived in the old country, see. A real high-class guy, not like me. You know what he was? He was a teacher of philosophy. And to be that in Greece, the very home of philosophy, you've got to be A-number-one smart, and that was my uncle. So they killed him, them Nazis. They stood him up against the wall, and you know why? Because he had brains. Because everybody's gotta be their slave, and them that won't, like my uncle, they kill!
- [pauses with emotion]
- Tin Can: My old man was no good. He was a boozer, and died in bed havin' the DTs. But my uncle, a man with education in his head and charity in his heart, who used to send my ma what to eat with when we were kids - him they stood up against the wall, and that sticks in here with me. That the difference between them and us, is that with us, even the no-good gets a chance to die in his own bed. So I don't forget my uncle. I read where one of our fliers gets killed, and I think of my uncle. And I see pictures of those little Chinese kids getting bombed, and I think of my uncle! And I read where a Russian guerrilla gets hanged and I think of my uncle, and I see Mike lyin' in there dead from a Jap killer and I think of my uncle, and I ain't got no room in here to see one of our guys get buried!
- [pounds on his chest]
- Tin Can: Not yet, not till I've done something to even out the score! So I eat with it, and I sleep with it... so be sore at me, you dopes!
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