- Simon Templar: [about headaches] I have an excellent cure.
- Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: Yeah? What's that?
- Simon Templar: Stay sober the night before the morning after.
- Simon Templar: Are you sure you robbed everybody?
- Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: All the new guests - all except Mr. and Mrs. John Harper.
- Simon Templar: Who are they? How did you skip them?
- Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: They checked out an hour before they got here. He got a telegram he was gonna be a grandfather or somethin'.
- Simon Templar: Are you positive?
- Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: You see, I figured that anybody who checked out might be the guilty party, so I checked up on who checked out. They was the only ones.
- Simon Templar: You think of everything - when you think.
- Insp. Henry Fernack: [to the two detectives the Saint has handcuffed together] Well, you'd better go down to the police garage and borrow a file. When you get those things off, you better use it to sharpen your wits.
- Charlie - Desk Clerk: Oh, how do you do, Mr. Templar? We've been expecting you. So, you're the man they call "The Saint"... the modern Robin Hood!
- Simon Templar: Really, I'm a remarkably bad shot with a bow and arrow, and I've never tasted venison in my life.
- Chief R.L. Graves: Well, let's have it. What have you been up to?
- Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: Chief, I've been so good, it's been monogamous!
- Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: Isn't that just my luck! I spend all my time lookin' for lost kids and old ladies' glasses, and the first time there's a real crime, there ain't no corpus delicious!
- Simon Templar: [to the arrested murderer] Where would you prefer to be executed? Sing Sing or San Quentin?