- Martha Arlington: What you need is a referee. "Tell her this" and "Tell her that." You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Now, act like a lady. And you, young man, act likewise. I mean, like a gentleman.
- Pierre Potkin: Snoop around and see what you can find out. But don't get lost. And remember: even the walls have ears.
- Jerry Lane: Who.
- Arlene Arlington: Who?
- Horace Arlington: What's wrong my dear?
- Pierre Potkin: Who is this woman? Where were you when the missing things where missing? Answer: yes or no.
- Pierre Potkin: [singing] When I see a pip, I just crack my whip
- Juanita - the Maid: If you ask for a kiss, I obey
- Pierre Potkin: Could I do it right now?
- Juanita - the Maid: Yes, gaucho, and how
- Pierre Potkin: But, honey, I first want to say: That you are one Miss who is going to kiss, The gosh darnedest gaucho today
- Pierre Potkin, Juanita - the Maid: Hey! The gosh darnedest gaucho today!
- Pierre Potkin: [singing] I'm the gosh darnedest gaucho that gauches today, Believe me I know how to gauch.
- Juanita - the Maid: When it comes to gauchos, I say you're okay,
- Pierre Potkin: Oh, you think that I can't be a slouch...
- Horace Arlington: Say, you don't think I'd rob my own house?
- Pierre Potkin: Well, you may be a somnambulist and do it while you're asleep.
- Horace Arlington: I certainly do not.
- Pierre Potkin: How do you know you don't?
- Horace Arlington: Well, I - i...
- Pierre Potkin: There you are. There you are. It's an open and shut case.
- Pierre Potkin: Mr. Arlington, have you any bad habits that you're not aware of? Answer: yes or no.
- Horace Arlington: No.
- Pierre Potkin: Ah, you mean that you don't know that you have any bad habits?
- Horace Arlington: Yes.
- Pierre Potkin: Oh, yes. Oh, you admit that you have bad habits.
- Juanita - the Maid: You rang for me Señora?
- Martha Arlington: Yes Juanita. See if the guest room is in order for Mr. Lane and Mr. Pumpkin.
- Pierre Potkin: Potkin.
- Martha Arlington: That's what I said, Pumpkin.
- Juanita - the Maid: [singing] I always get my man, I do the best I can, I haven't any special system, But I can tell you once I kiss them, I always get my man, I haven't lost one yet, I haven't missed a bet, I haven't seen one I can't master, He maybe fast but I'm much faster, I always get my man, At every chance I get I dance, It gives them all a thrill, If I can't get a fella with my Terra Tela, My Cucaracha will, I always get my man...
- Pierre Potkin: You're all nuts. Send for Juanita to pack my bags.
- Horace Arlington: You didn't bring any bags.
- Pierre Potkin: Well, then, just send for Juanita. We'll pick up a few things on the way out.
- Pierre Potkin: Tell me, what do you make of these robberies around here?
- Juanita - the Maid: I make nothing! I don't know whos do it.
- Pierre Potkin: You don't know whos do it?
- Juanita - the Maid: No.
- Pierre Potkin: You know, Sñora, you're a - very nice little girl.
- Juanita - the Maid: Thank you. Now, I go? No?
- Pierre Potkin: No!
- Pierre Potkin: [singing] Perhaps you don't know I'm a gaucho, I've gauched with the best you can get...
- Jerry Lane: Can I have a kiss?
- Arlene Arlington: Oh, I don't think...
- Jerry Lane: Ah, come on, just one.
- Arlene Arlington: Well, wait till I powder my nose.
- Jerry Lane: I don't want to kiss your nose.
- Pierre Potkin: I'm off to Philadelphia.
- Juanita - the Maid: This is Philadelphia.
- Pierre Potkin: It is Philadelphia?
- Juanita - the Maid: Yeah, around the outskirts.
- Pierre Potkin: Well, that gives me a little time to - play around the outskirts.
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