- John Kent: You don't appreciate her. I know she seems a little hard and sophisticated, but underneath she's a pearl.
- Huckleberry Haines: And a pearl so I'm told, is the result of a chronic irritation on an oyster.
- Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: You may call me Tanka.
- Huckleberry Haines: Tanka.
- Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: You're welcome.
- Huckleberry Haines: What's the racket Liz? Did you marry the title or just lift it?
- Lizzie Gatz: Be a pal, will ya, Huck? Its just a stage name. You've got to have a title to croon over here.
- Huckleberry Haines: How long ya gonna stay?
- Sophie Teale: Oh hello, Huckleberry.
- Huckleberry Haines: Hello, Soph.
- Sophie Teale: Mother and I are going to Switzerland on Saturday.
- Huckleberry Haines: Goodbye, John, I'll see ya Sunday.
- John Kent: [Last words] Where ya goin'?
- Stephanie: Down!
- John Kent: Now, why?
- Stephanie: Because I pushed the button.
- John Kent: But I want to talk to you.
- Stephanie: That's what you're doing!
- John Kent: I'd just like to tell you I love you. Je vous adore. Je vous aime.
- Stephanie: Je t'aime!
- John Kent: What does that mean?
- Stephanie: I love you.
- John Kent: Gee, that's swell.
- Huckleberry Haines: What was her name? Gee, I could find her like that if I could only remember her name.
- John Kent: Anybody else you know, you can't remember?
- Huckleberry Haines: Yeah, but, I can't think who they are.
- John Kent: They tell me in Paris, if you don't buy your gown from Roberta, you're not dressed at all.
- Huckleberry Haines: I see. Nude if you don't and nude if you do.
- Roberta: She's the rage here, right now. She's got the best figure in Europe and she has to have a dress - at least partly.
- Huckleberry Haines: Do you remember the valentine I sent you? The one with the arrow piercing the heart and dripping blood?
- Lizzie Gatz: [laughing] Oh, yeah, I remember that. I think that's the only valentine I ever received.
- Huckleberry Haines: Its the only one I ever sent.
- Lizzie Gatz: Oh, those were the happy days, weren't they. You know, I think I was in love with you then, Huck.
- Huckleberry Haines: I know you were.
- Lizzie Gatz: You!
- Huckleberry Haines: Me! And what's more I was madly in love with you.
- Huckleberry Haines: Oh, that one's a honey. That's the one I'd take.
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Do your references refer to de gown or de girl?
- Huckleberry Haines: Oh-oh, I hadn't noticed the girl. But, now that you mention her, I'd take...
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Yes?
- Huckleberry Haines: The gown - less upkeep.
- Huckleberry Haines: Mr. Kent's main idea is to design women's dresses the way men think they should be.
- Miss Jones - Newspaper Reporter: And how do you men think they should be?
- John Kent: Not so naked.
- Huckleberry Haines: Well, he means that if clothes are to clothe they should clothe. It's more stimulating to the imagination if - clothes clothe.
- Huckleberry Haines: Pockets in all dresses - especially in the evening ones. So, the women can pack their own junk. The bulging pockets of the male will disappear forever. Women will not have to depend upon their male escorts, they'll be much more independent. As a matter of fact, eh, as a matter of fact, pockets will make the female more - female.
- Sophie Teale: If I weren't going out with Johnny, I wouldn't be so particular. But, I'm sure he'll want me to have something that expresses my personality.
- Stephanie: Suppose we have Johnny come in and help you select something? He knows so much more about your personality than I do.
- Sophie Teale: Oh, no, no, please. I want to surprise him. You know, he's really just a little boy, in spite of his man-of-the-world exterior.
- Stephanie: Yes, I've suspected that.
- Huckleberry Haines: Is Miss Teale's personality in there?
- Stephanie: Yes, right in there.
- Huckleberry Haines: I'll go and torment her for awhile.
- Stephanie: Here's a gown that might please you, Miss Teale. This gown has both chic and good breeding.
- Sophie Teale: I'm more interested in the chic. I can supply the breeding myself.
- Sophie Teale: I bet you a hundred dollars he says, "Gee, that looks swell".
- Huckleberry Haines: Make it francs and its a bet.
- Sophie Teale: Sold!
- Stephanie: What is it?
- Prince Ladislaw: You are going to sing for us.
- Stephanie: Oh, am I?
- Prince Ladislaw: Yes.
- Stephanie: All right.
- [singing]
- Stephanie: They ask me how I knew, My true love was true, I of course replied, Something here inside, Cannot be denied. They said, Someday you'll find, All who love are blind, When your heart's on fire, You must realize, Smoke gets in your eyes...
- Stephanie: Who's been running the business?
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Did you say running or ruining?
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: The fashion show next week will be a colossal flop!
- Huckleberry Haines: Maybe we should call off the fashion show.
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Oh, I think so.
- Stephanie: We might better put on a good one!
- Huckleberry Haines: Now, you're talking, Stephanie! We'll put on a better than good one and we'll give them some entertainment, too.
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: How about your band?
- Huckleberry Haines: That's a great idea! We'll bring over my band...
- Stephanie: A musical fashion show!
- Huckleberry Haines: Yeah, that's it!
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Marvelous!
- Stephanie: [singing] Lovely to look at, Delightful to know and heaven to kiss. A combination like this, Is quite my most impossible scheme come true, Imagine finding a dream like you! You're lovely to look at, It's thrilling to hold you terribly tight. For we're together, the moon is new, And oh, it's lovely to look at you tonight!
- Wabash Indianians Band: [singing] You're lovely to look at...
- Voyda: [First lines] Oh, pardon, Monsieur, did you bring my band of Indians?
- Ship's Officer: Indians?
- Voyda: Yes! American Indians! Musicians to play at my cafe.
- Ship's Officer: Oh, you mean Indians with feathers?
- Voyda: Yes! With noses!
- Ship's Officer: Like in the American five cent?
- Voyda: Yes! Yes! Have you got them onboard? Yes!
- Ship's Officer: No!
- Voyda: Indians? Indians? Are you the Wabash Indians Band?
- Huckleberry Haines: Are you Voyda?
- Voyda: I am Alexander Petrovitch Moscovitch Voyda.
- Huckleberry Haines: Let's pick it up from there. We're the boys you hired to play at your cafe: The Wabash Indianians.
- Voyda: Indianians? Is this the same as Indians?
- Huckleberry Haines: Um, well, yes, in a sense, you see we don't, we don't wear our feathers in warm weather. Do we boys? Well, when do we start, Mr. Voyda?
- Voyda: You don't start! I cable for Indians and I want Indians! No pay American faces when they make me a fool of myself.
- Roberta: When all you titled aristocrats get jobs, maybe Europe can settle down to a few years peace.
- Lord Delves: This John from America, who is he?
- Roberta: My nephew! I met him when I was there a few years ago and took a great fancy to him. He's quite famous in his way. All-American half-back or three-quarters back or something.
- Lord Delves: Really?
- Roberta: Yes! You know it's queer, but, when you happen to like your relatives, you like them better than other people.
- Lord Delves: [to John] Goodbye, young man. I'm off to catch a train. But, in a fortnight, I'll be back. Then, as I understand is the custom in your country, we'll "go places" and "do something".
- John Kent: Stephanie is swell.
- Comtesse Scharwenka: What? You are her - lover?
- John Kent: I've never seen such a place! No one thinks of anything but being somebody's lover.
- Comtesse Scharwenka: Well, have you never thought of it?
- Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: These Americans are, what you call, eh, fresh guys!
- Roberta: No, no, no! Refreshing!
- Lizzie Gatz. alias Countess Scharwenka: Oh, mais oui, refreshing, pardon, Monsieur.
- Huckleberry Haines: No, poof. It is nothing - toots!
- Comtesse Scharwenka: [singing] I'll be hard to handle, I promise you that, And if you complain, Here's one little Jane, Who'll leave you flat...
- Comtesse Scharwenka: [singing] I'm as cold as any shellfish, I tell lies, I mean I selfish, Think it over, My warning is this, I'll be hard to handle, I'm making it plain, Now just be a dear, And scram outta here, because I'm going to raise Cain...
- Lizzie Gatz: Remember that beauty contest I won?
- Huckleberry Haines: Oh, you got a trip to Kansas City.
- Lizzie Gatz: Well, you won it for me. How did you get all those men from the overalls factory to vote for me?
- Huckleberry Haines: That was easy, I showed them a picture of Lillian Russell.
- Lizzie Gatz: Lillian Russell? Well, what was the matter with my picture?
- Huckleberry Haines: Well, if you must know, we got a lot of votes from the farmers with a picture of a prized heifer.
- Lizzie Gatz: Oh, you!
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: Do you plan, eh, fitting the ladies yourself, John?
- Huckleberry Haines: What a picture: tape measure around the neck and pin cushion on the hip?
- John Kent: I ought to spank the two of you.
- John Kent: Why don't you let a guy alone when he's trying to figure things out!
- Huckleberry Haines: She just wants to know what you're going to do.
- Lizzie Gatz: That's all.
- John Kent: I'm going home.
- Lizzie Gatz: But, you can't! You're Mr. Roberta.
- Prince Ladislaw: Madame would not destroy that will.
- John Kent: Are you trying to say I did?
- Prince Ladislaw: I will not say yes or not! But it looks queer, very queer!
- Huckleberry Haines: Oh, John, look, we've had a brainstorm. Instead of you going home, why don't you and Stephanie become partners.
- Lizzie Gatz alias Countess Scharwenka: [Referring to a Roberta-designed gown] Mmmm, dat is de one I would take. And tall, handsome gentlemen with large bank accounts will be asking for my telephone number - and getting it!
- Huckleberry Haines: Hah! And won't they be surprised when I answer?
- Huckleberry Haines: Well, so long. Tell the Countess I'll be waiting for her.
- John Kent: Where?
- Huckleberry Haines: Oh, either on the right-side of the left bank or the left-side of the right bank.
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