Lex Steele Is Magnum, BBC

Way back in the day, Lexington Steele was a respected actor in Adult Cinema, back when XXX movies were still in vogue. In more recent decades he became a sort of cottage industry, making his own self-serving product and this ranks among his worst.

It's essentially a mindless, wall-to-wall sex video, with random starlets succumbing to the huge Lex dick, until the final vignette when self-indulgence reaches new depths.

Lex shows up in black leather and wearing an eye patch as Marvel's character Nick Fury, not as hammy as Sam Jackson in the role, nor as entertaining as the great Field Marshal Bradley would have been during the VHS era. He mumbles and tries to improvise, with unappealingly styled Sara Jay as his spy adversary, until the horribly set-up scene deteriorates into raw sex for them.

It's crap for crap sake, and embarrassing to see this male superstar and pioneer hamming it up as a useless has-been. It ends with him asking her to pledge not to reveal that the famous eyepatch isn't necessary but just a fashion statement -he has two good eyes! BFD!