User reviews

Megalodon is actually a tutorial on how to make a bad movie. First, stereotype all your characters, ALL of them. Second, missrepresent everything, from military stuff to marine biology to international relations and protocol, even submarine engineering is wrong (I mean, the hatch that connects two submarines closes like a cellar door). Third, add bad dialogue, unnecessary scenes, events happening out of nowhere, and last but not least, invest as little as possible in special effects for you main atraction. And voilà!

Acting dreadful. CGI dreadful. Storyline dreadful. Military accuracy dreadful. Strangely tho I laughed at most of the things that made this film bad and ended up enjoying it! Would I watch a sequel? Sure. Would I watch it again? Eh,,, no.

This was such a bad movie from the acting down to the ridiculous storyline. Even Michael Madsen gave a poor performance. It was like he didn't want to be in the movie at all. I got a little better than 2/3 of the way through and I gave up...couldn't bear to watch a single more scene.

I couldn't get past the first scene. Not because the CGI looked like it was made by a highschool kid learning digital video production. Because it starts with a bunch of Naval personnel on the deck of a boat in formation, no hats on, some at attention some in something between attention and parade rest. Then the commander Michael Madsen walks out and holy shit he looks like he just rolled onto the set after a 4 day bender in Vegas. This supposed naval ship commander's mullet is showing from under hit head gear. Which has a giant bird shaped emblem on it that was stolen from a 1950s car hood. Hes got rings on like a pump and his uniform looks like he just pulled it out a hamper and threw it on. I got as far as the next scene where everyone is saluting in doors and nearly threw my remote through my TV. If they couldnt pay for good graphics or a decent plot, They could have at least spent 100 bucks on some naval veteran at the very least to help look an actual military service FFS.

I mistakenly watched this because I thought this was The Meg, dumb I know, but it is based on a similar premise. I should have realised when I noticed Michael Madsen was in it, he is usually only in bad movies and this was bad, with a capital B.

This is so bad that I would have turned it off after 10 minutes, but my partner was liking it, so, regretfully I had to endure the whole thing.

I love shark movies, but this one is not worth watching at all. Everything about it was just wrong.

Avoid like the plague.

"Commander" was a Lieutenant. Non regulation haircuts from enlisted up to hobo Admiral. Rescue sub looks like Saturday morning kids cartoon. Security guy would NEVER bring an M4 rifle on a sub...shotgun yes, pistol, okay. Russian accents dreadful. I could go on but I have to wash my eyes after watching this dreck.

I love my bad shark movies. I love my great shark movies. And I really love my bad great shark movies. Sadly, this movie falls into none of those categories. I will give some credit to a few of the actors for making the best of what they had to work with, but everything else about this was just bad. You don't come to expect much from the Syfy movies when it comes to special effects, but the scene of the Carrier rocking in the ocean looked so poorly done it was just sad. And I've seen many complaints about the lack of military attention paid to this and yeah, gotta agree. There is usually something to enjoy in these movies, maybe a favorite actor chewing up the scenery or such, but we didn't even get that. I feel they spent the majority of their budget paying Michael Madsen to be in it and for all of his maybe 10 minutes, he kinda phoned it in. Sadly, this will NEVER end up in my to buy and watch over and over pile. EVER.

I gave this a 1 star because I assume most people probably watch it like they watch most movies and that's hoping to be immersed in a great story. If that is your purpose you should run fast and run far from this atrocity. If you watched it for the reason I did, which is to say, knowing it would be terrible and wondering just how terrible it could be then it's a 12/10. The acting was some of the worst I've ever seen and the script was 6th-Grade caliber which helped accentuate the lack of acting skills. I couldn't help but wonder if the "actors/actresses" realized how awful this was and figured **** it, it's a paycheck, or if they thought it turned out well. One reviewer got into intricacies of military dress and rank insignia and such and I was amazed he felt the need to go that deep for something wrong. However, I do feel it warranted to note this was the worst portrayal of any branch of our armed forces that I recall ever personally witnessing. North Korea could not have dreamed of a better anti-American Navy propaganda film. This was so bad that it's borderline slanderous to every person who does or ever has served in the U.S. Navy. It would have been more appropriate to personally kick each and every one of them in the junk than to paint their Navy like this. Now... Back to the generalities of this tragic waste of resources. The guns they used were not even bad replicas, instead, they clearly were purchased by an uninterested intern who went to the nearest toy store for them. They attempted some military lingo and failed spectacularly. The "Admiral" had some sort of bedazzled eagle disaster on his bdu cover... Yeah I'll leave that all alone. The dialogue was like a *****y porn film but cheesier. Then there was the ship itself when they showed it a couple times. I have yet to decide it it was also a very cheap and unrealistic toy or the worst CGI that I've ever had the fortune to witness. I could continue for days but it you want to see a cinematic atrocity this is the one for you.

As a retired US Navy Commander who has also served in the USAF National Guard and Army Guard, I am fed up with the horrible use of uniforms and decorations in films. Nothing in this movie is correct and so many situational circumstances are just wrong. As a Veteran I didn't even care about the fish story or the crooked Russians..., I was concerned deeply as to how badly our Navy was portrayed. I should be a technical adviser in Hollywood with my 40 years of multiple service and experience 'cause whoever's running the show is doing a piss poor job on so many levels and in so many different movies. Nuff Said.

The Admiral (Michael Madsen) looks like he hasn't had a haircut in 6 months! His uniform is sloppy as sh@t and what the hell is that device on his ball cap?! The Navy doesn't salute indoors! The Captain keeps getting in the Commander's ( who's wearing collar devices for the rank of Lieutenant lol!) face and talking to her like she's 15 years old! What a horrible movie, this would get a -1 if it were possible!

Compelling story as the crew is stranded against a true beast. Burkhead is a great character!

Oh come on 2.9 for this ? At least it deserves 5 for visual effects

Do all SYFY channel movies suck? I'll admit the movie Meg is by no means Jaws! But this movie is by no means Jaws The Revenge! It's not even so bad that it's laughable! This is a couple of hours you'll never get back!

Let's just say I didn't finish it... Ones in a blue moon I don't finish a movie, I have to see it through, but this... This was just.. Let's say staring at a wall would be less painful. The acting, the graphics oh God the graphics... Don't waste your time. I wondered if the acters playing in it ever stopped to think, WTF am I in?!

Okay, several characters, including Michael Madsen, are sporting haircuts that are not up to miltary specs. But the BIG mistake was in reference to Caroline Harris's character, which is listed as "Commander" Lynch. And all the characters in the movie refer to her as Commander Lynch. But she is wearing 0-3 insignia, which in the US Navy is a Lieutenant, not a Commander. A Commander is an 0-5. So I guess she got a promotion in the field, but did not bother to change her rank, correct???? Wrong, I'm going with this being a bad "B" movie and the miltary consultants did not do their job.

John, A US Army veteran

Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum's and SyFy's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, both The Asylum and SyFy do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out.

Before anybody gets defensive, am well aware that films like 'Megalodon' are not ones to be taken seriously when watching it on the SyFy channel last night. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films, the novelty's worn off now). There are marginally worse shark films, but is that an endorsement or saying much? Not really.

Take no pleasure in rating films low or leaving negative reviews. Actually always aim to be an encouraging and perceptive reviewer, and 1/10 ratings are extremely rare. Actually wanted to see 'Megalodon' as at least a guilty pleasure.

Sadly 'Megalodon' is just too amateurish to accept as a guilty pleasure, where nearly everything is just poor quality that it's insulting and there is nowhere near enough fun, intentional or unintentional, moments. Was not expecting anything intelligent here, am well versed now to know that it is not that kind of film, but it does feel like it was made by somebody who didn't know how to give a film brains, so much so that it'll make the viewer feel dumb and that is not a nice sensation to feel watching a film.

Cheapness and ridiculousness were taken to extremes here in 'Megalodon'. Some marginally intriguing, if very silly, ideas but comes off so far-fetchingly that it is impossible to take things for what they're intended to be let alone take them seriously.

Visually, even when knowing what to expect, 'Megalodon' still looks really cheap. Any nice scenery that the movie has is difficult to appreciate when the movie is shot in such a drab way and when it's edited so amateurishly that bacon-slicer-like editing looks more refined. Worst of all in this regard are the effects, as it was made on low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the shark look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore. The attention to detail for uniforms etc. is next to nothing, it looks like no research went into this.

No better news about the shark's personality. Not menacing or fun, it's basically bland and for a titular creature it doesn't feature in the film enough and is used poorly, almost random. The shark action is nothing to write home about, not enough of it and easily forgettable with no suspense or even unintentional humour.

Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written and as trite as anybody can possibly go. Then there is the muddled and borderline incoherent technobabble/jargon that sounded made up on the spot. To describe the story as weak is being too insulting to the word weak, it is a very lethargically paced and thin as ice story with lots of padding that is either badly written or serves no point at all to the movie, other than attempts at novelty value, which falls flat on its face because it all feels so tired. It is not fun, it is not scary and it is not thrilling or suspenseful, it's just nothing but tired stupidity, with silly ideas being ridiculous and muddled in execution. The ending stretches dumbness too far that it will make the jaw drop at its excessive ridiculousness.

As for the characters, they are a mix of bland and annoying, not an interesting or rootable character among them thanks to such nonsensical and illogical behaviours and decisions (a pet peeve of mine and am staring to detect an annoying pattern in recent low-budget viewings). The portrayal of the Navy and its roles shows immense disrespect and in no way looks like a military service. The acting is either disinterested or hammy, Michael Madsen looks like he was there for the money or a favour but really wanted to be somewhere else.

In conclusion, a mega failure in every way. 1/10 Bethany Cox

This is perhaps the worst movie I've ever seen. I can't think of any saving grace. Militarily it's wrong. If I were the Navy, I'd pay them not to ever show this. Burn every copy. Long hair on admiral? Uniforms sloppy! Acting worse. Madsen his usual monodimenional self. Soundtrack sucks. Mundane (I.e., not special) effects. Well, perhaps it paid the actor's rent, assuming they were paid. If they were, they were overpaid. The director and editor need to be made into tuna steaks and fed to the (real) sharks. Have I told you this movie stinks. If you read this review, save yourself and don't watch it. Pick your nose. Floss your teeth. Smack your face repeatedly. Just don't punish yourself by watching this. No sin is worth this degree of punishment. Well, OK the Russian accents were decent as long as you never heard a real one. The only worse is if Dolph were in it.

This is the worst movie ever. If anyone had to pay for it, then it should get negative infinity stars. My mom was in the military. So I asked her while we watched, "Is that how people act for real?" Every second was so cheesy. The best part was after I fell asleep in the last 30 minutes and woke up to it finally being over.

I believe "Evacuate" should have been Abandon Ship, maybe? How many people were actually ON the ship, 20? The "Inspirational" speech was a poor rip-off from Independence Day. Too many bad movie moments to list, so I just gave a few. Everything about this filmed reeked like the South end of a North facing pig. Deserves a MINUS score if I could give it. I only wish Megalodon would have won.

Arguably the worst movie you've ever seen.

1) Admiral wearing Lieutenant bars 2) Admiral has long hair past his shoulders and moppy hair hanging over his ears.

3) Ship is rusty all over 4) The ship is a model floating in a pool 5) They didn't have M16's or M4s so they used AR style water guns / air guns 6) Since the guns don't fire; they color in fake muzzle blasts with orange paint and make fake "pew pew pew" sounds 7) Ship's cook was this morbidly obese guy in overalls 8) They never call for assistance, have no support ships, and are alone in the middle of the ocean during the cold war.

9) The 20mm canon is rusty, and he aims it in the sky but the splashes for the projectiles landing in the ocean happen BEFORE he fires and is maybe 50 yards from the ship 10) At one point the model they use for the ship looks like the USS Cyclops, which was lost in the Bermuda Triangle at the end of WW I.

11) Every now and then you'll catch a museum sign bolted to the side of the ship.

12) The portal the submersible uses to connect to the Russian submarine is actually the handle of what appears to be a piece of band equipment.

WARNING: This is literally the worst acting you will EVER see in a movie.

A Navy "Commander" wearing Lt. bars, a 20mm gun on deck that hasn't been used in decades, museum display placards not covered, horrid CGI. And that is just to start. Extremely low budget, no Navy tech consultants, a very dodgy plot line. Just a very poor movie all around. We ex-Navy guys can at least get a good laugh from this howler. Almost as bad as "The Philadelphia Experiment".

The epitome of a theatrical joyride! A combination of the original Sharknado with the intensity of Jaws, Megalodon kicked off shark week 2018 with a blast... literally. The movie takes place on the USS Shaw, a real navy ship docked off the coast of California, where Navy seamen fight off the biggest shark to have ever existed and as old as time itself. With Ensign Burkhead (Luke Fattorusso) and Capitan Streeper (Dominic Pace) leading the group, they embark on the toughest battle of their lives. From trying to save their crew from the belly of the beast, to escaping Russian attack, this movie excites a palette of true heroism and rings of becoming a new Syfy classic. Not to mention, Michael Madsen is just downright hilarious in it. 10/10 will watch again!

This was a fun, wild romp in a mega shark infested ocean! Is it a great film? No. But it doesn't try to be. Several of the actors really do put their heart into it and it's fun. The ones who don't, you can tell and it doesn't take away too much. The script is pleasantly hammy, the plot is basic. The special effects on the shark are better than I was expecting, which is really nice.

All in all, an entertaining, fun film