10 reviews
First off i started an imdb account just so i could post a review. I dont think in my whole life i have ever watched a movie that was this bad, EVER. And i have watched Ed wood movies.
The transitions from one scene to another were non existent. They tried to make the lead actor into an action hero but failed. I know that actors in movies cant do anything with a bad script or director, but i dont think anything could have saved this movie. I am sad that so many trees were destroyed in the making of this film if they used paper for the scripts.
Having said all that, i love anything zombie so i made myself watch it and to be honest it was horrendous.
If you're looking for a good movie or even an alright movie keep looking. I had to stop the movie several times to rewind it because i kept feeling as if i missed scenes but i hadnt, its just made this way. If you dont mind either wasting your time or money then this movies for you.
- rpatt-12248
- Jul 13, 2019
- Permalink
Anything even remotely zombie, and I am there. However, more often than not does it turn out that the zombie movies are horribly. I had not heard about "Valentine DayZ" before stumbling upon it by sheer luck. And of course I gave it a go with no hesitation.
"Valentine DayZ" was a most horrible movie experience in many, many ways.
Let's story with the storyline, which was next to non-existing, and whatever coherency they did manage to put together from the fragments that made up the storyline, it was just not worth the effort. The plot was laughable at best. And the movie was just full of characters that you didn't care for in the least.
The zombie make-up was atrocious. Yeah, this is the style of zombie make-up where they opt to slap gray make-up on the face, dark circles around the eyes and frizzy hair. Yup, that was about it. Oh, I almost forgot the green blood. Because we all know blood changes color out of the blue. And the sounds these zombies were making just made the zombies seem like ridiculous spoofs on other zombie movies.
The dialogue in the movie was every bit as staggering and halting as the rest of the movie.
I dozed off once along the way, but eventually managed to sit through the movie to the very end, in the slim hopes that it would pick up and become better... It didn't!
If you are a zombie fan, don't bother with spending your time, money or effort on watching this movie.
"Valentine DayZ" was a most horrible movie experience in many, many ways.
Let's story with the storyline, which was next to non-existing, and whatever coherency they did manage to put together from the fragments that made up the storyline, it was just not worth the effort. The plot was laughable at best. And the movie was just full of characters that you didn't care for in the least.
The zombie make-up was atrocious. Yeah, this is the style of zombie make-up where they opt to slap gray make-up on the face, dark circles around the eyes and frizzy hair. Yup, that was about it. Oh, I almost forgot the green blood. Because we all know blood changes color out of the blue. And the sounds these zombies were making just made the zombies seem like ridiculous spoofs on other zombie movies.
The dialogue in the movie was every bit as staggering and halting as the rest of the movie.
I dozed off once along the way, but eventually managed to sit through the movie to the very end, in the slim hopes that it would pick up and become better... It didn't!
If you are a zombie fan, don't bother with spending your time, money or effort on watching this movie.
- paul_haakonsen
- Nov 28, 2018
- Permalink
Van scene with the girlfriend was good. Good gore. Rest was disjointed. Ig you gave it a 1 I couldn't tell you that you are wrong. Only watch while you are surfing the net at the same time. 3 of those 4 were for her
- boydpeters
- Nov 3, 2018
- Permalink
Was boring.
I wouldnt have minded the disjointed scenes that made no sense if something happened in them..
Ventriloquist was the stand out high point.
Cinematic Nappien.
Cinematic Nappien.
- warehousereviews
- Aug 23, 2020
- Permalink
This film essentially begins with a former government assassin known simply as "Max" (Dallas Valdez) teaming up with his best friend "Dell" (Curt Lambert) to successfully rob an armored car carrying a load of gold bars. Not long afterward, the two go to a bar to celebrate their accomplishment and, while having a few drinks, Max meets a beautiful woman named "Sarah" (Carrie Keagan). One thing quickly leads to another, and they soon fall madly in love. However, as fate would have it, it's also during this time that a zombie apocalypse breaks out and everything changes for the worse from that point on. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this is one of those movies that could have been much better if the director (Mark Allen Michaels) knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, despite some decent acting on the part of both Dallas Valdez and Carrie Keagan, the story bounced around from one subplot to another so fast that it was hard to really develop any interest in the characters involved. Likewise, this bizarre approach also made it difficult to distinguish at times whether this was a comedy or a horror film. Not that there was really that much comedy here. In any case, although I initially had high hopes for this picture, I have to say that I was quite disappointed, and I have rated it accordingly. Below average.
The acting is horrible but the worst part is the mess of a script. How do you mess up a zombie script?? Outbreak --> killing --> the end. But not this one.
Max is getting married with a young girl, then there comes a zombie outbreak. It could have been a nice little "old fart protect young girl"-movie. But no. Subplots with more subplots and weird scenes with no connections to the main plotline.
It's a mess and you should avoid this it.
Max is getting married with a young girl, then there comes a zombie outbreak. It could have been a nice little "old fart protect young girl"-movie. But no. Subplots with more subplots and weird scenes with no connections to the main plotline.
It's a mess and you should avoid this it.
- kim-215-306612
- Oct 16, 2020
- Permalink
Choppy, episodic, and unsatisfying. I felt like the movie abandoned coherence completely 3/4 of the way through. There's no payoff and the ending is worse than "it was all just a dream." Pass this one by. There's not a thing to recommend this forgettable mess.
This is a masterpiece of film making. Everyone involved should be members of the Artistic Genius Society. I especially loved Professor Z. I couldn't recommend you spend the very reasonable hour and a half with this film more.
- spencerbartlett
- Jan 23, 2020
- Permalink
..., you probably won't be disappointed.
But if you came looking for Shakespear, look elsewhere.
And if you came looking for something silly to watch with your partner, you'll probably end up laughing and grimacing in equal amounts.
Quite beautifully framed and lit visuals, edited in a deliberately off-kilter manner, even if the dialog and acting is less then stellar, it's still an original work, though it's not until this one gets really effed up in the third act that it gets good.