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Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. People change, careers get in the way, better suitors present themselves. Unless, of course, you’re a character in an indie film set in New York. In that case, the only way to break up is to spend a day walking around the city discussing the relationship with a neurotic friend. Such is life in “The Narcissists,” a new film by Quincy Rose.

The official synopsis from Gravitas Films reads: “Brooklyn filmmaker Oliver has once again found himself at a crossroads, facing troubles with his long-term girlfriend Cassi and in a rut creatively. While meandering around New York City with his best friend, Oliver explains his latest screenplay, a narrative meditation curiously reflecting his own life, wherein a couple are forced to make a decision: stick together and commit to another year of cohabitation, or call it quits after five years and move out.

Quincy Rose, the godson of Woody Allen and the offspring of the late Mickey Rose (an Allen collaborator on films such as Bananas and a writer for The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson), has just scribed, directed, produced, and edited his second feature film, Friends Effing Friends Effing Friends (Fefef) so roll out the red carpet and blow the horns. Such an amazing lack of talent has seldom been contained in a mere 117 minutes.

This is not to propose that Mr. Rose is totally bereft of any artistry. The trailer for his initial effort, Miles to Go (2012), in which he stars, displays an engagingly high-strung neuroticism in his Allenesque take on heterosexual relationships, and you can't help but wish he had cast himself as a lead in Fefef.

But before I decimate the theatrics and the writing, let's confront the plot. Two childhood buddies -- one circumcised, the other not...